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“Don’t worry. I’m still going to resit it, though,” I qualified. “And then I can decide what I want to do afterwards.”
Alaric laughed nervously. “Hope this room ain’t bugged, mate. Mustard will have a coronary if he hears you.” He walked over to the kitchen area, dragging a plastic chair with him. “You’re the great white hope, darling.” He positioned the chair beneath the smoke alarm. “If you can’t hack it, what hope is there for the rest of us?”
Despite his private vendetta against the management, Alaric would be fine. Bad systems beat down ordinary people like me and Luke, not rebellious survivors like him. He stepped on the chair and took a big toke on his vape, filling his lungs with strawberry flavoured toxins. Then he blew it out, in a thick steamy gust, all over the smoke alarm. A second later, an insistentbing dingbing dingrang out down the corridor outside the staff room, followed by the slamming of consecutive fire doors.
“Oh dear.” Pocketing his vape, Alaric skipped down from the chair. “The toaster must be on the blink again.”
After saying goodbye to Luke, we made our way back to the wards. “He’s a fucking state, isn’t he?” Alaric murmured. “Even worse than I expected him to be.”
“Should we tell someone?” Was Luke really safe to be let loose on patients?
“Like who?” Alaric shrugged. “Talk about turkeys voting for Christmas. If he doesn’t do this weekend of nights, they’ll get yours truly to do them instead, and then I’ll be a gibbering wreck too.”
“Luke should serve as a warning to us,” I stated, still with bloody Ezra’s wise words pinging through my brain.
“Yes,” Alaric agreed. “One hundred percent.”
Warming to my theme, I picked up the pace. “We need to take every opportunity to get away from this place when we can.” Opportunities that didn’t involve snogging my brother.
“Absolutely,” Alaric agreed again.
I balled my fists. “We need to stop all these extra shifts. We need to learn to say no.”
“Couldn’t agree more. Well said and thanks for the TED talk, sweetie. But let’s start that tomorrow, yeah? I’ve already agreed to stay late tonight.”
When Alaric peeled off, I texted Gerald and invited him over. Fundamentally, he was a nice guy and deserved a chance. Not to mention I didn’t have much in the way of options for my time outside the hospital. Once this bloody exam was over and I’d made some life choices, I should start reading the books Gerald had recommended. Join a film club or something. Make time for the gym somehow.
Learn to fly. Fly away.Before I ended up like Luke.
CHAPTER 16
EZRA
I craved escape, to lie on my back in a massive field somewhere, surrounded by nothing but yellow daisies and the sound of the universe breathing. I’d drag Isaac along, he’d sleep on his belly next to me, and I’d tell the stars about him.
Then… then we’d see.
Sadly, none of those were an option. So I made do with spilling my woes to Carly as I sat on the floor of her crummy kitchen, stroking her ancient terrier. “I messed up. With Isaac.”
She threw me a wry look while she ironed school uniforms. “Jonty said you’d been grumpy. I had a feeling it might involve one of that lot.”
If that boy was a band mate, he’d have been kicked out eons ago.
Carefully, Carly folded a shirt. “Let me guess; he offered you loads of dosh to get out of that shitty flat, and your elephantine stubbornness declined.”
I’d chuck Carly out of the band too. I’d become a solo artist.
“Um… worse, actually. I plied him with booze, took him down a dark alley, and snogged him.”
“And they say romance is dead.”
“It’s not. Or if it is then I’m trying to resuscitate it. But I fucked up. He wasn’t ready.”
“Wasn’t ready or doesn’t feel the same?”
“He loves me.” I pulled a face, telling myself stubborn was simply another word for resolute. “He even said so.”
“I daresay,” agreed Carly. “But as a… I dunno… and I’m just throwing ideas out here… as a, you know, abrother?”
