Page 20 of A Bunny for the Bear
His words held a note of finality to them. I knew he was right. There wasn't anything else to do to stop a heat. I had heard stories of such in my research over the last few days. That didn't mean I felt any better about it. How in the world was I supposed to make love and knot the man I would spend forever with when he was not of cognizant mind?
It wasn't fair to him. It wasn't fair to me either. I wanted us both to remember this.
I turned to Ross and dropped down to my knees in front of him. "Mate," I said softly, gaining his attention.
His eyes had been trailing over my body as if he were fascinated with what he saw. I internally preened at the notion; however, on the outside, I kept my expression neutral.
"Mate, you're in heat. Your body is trying to convince us to complete the bond, but I won't do so if you don't understand what I'm saying right now. I need to know that you want me as well, that you want this for forever."
Ross nodded quickly, and my heart sank. He was too eager. The heat had clearly messed with his mind, because less than two weeks ago, he was running away from me. I pulled my hands away from him and moved to stand.
"I can't," I said.
"No, Alpha," he begged, his hands reaching out to stop me. "Watch.” He produced his phone from somewhere on his body. After opening the device, he turned it toward me.
"Watch," he repeated as he tapped the screen. I took it to mean that there was something on his phone he wanted me to see.
"Is it your photos?" I asked him.
He nodded quickly again, so I went looking. The screen showed a gallery of images, some of the town, and others of my mate. There were four in a row that appeared to be videos.
"Is this what you want me to watch, these videos?" I turned the screen to him and pointed.
He gave me that same enthusiastic nod, so I climbed onto the couch beside him and pressed play on the oldest one. He came across the screen, his expression lively and sure.
"Hi! I don't really know what I'm doing, but I feel like it's important to catalog what's happening in my life right now. I have never felt safe to do so before coming here, but Collier Cover is different. I'm different. I want to be better. Stronger. Not in the physical sense because, well, my kind doesn't get all that strong. Still, I want to be able to hold my own with my mate. He shouldn't have to spend all his days protecting me or taking care of me." Ross paused, his gaze going distant for a few moments before he came back.
"Most of all, I want him to understand that I do want him. I want to spend forever with him. I'm just terrified of what that means. Every example I've ever had of a relationship between shifters was toxic. The Alpha had all the power, and the Omega just had to do what they wanted. There was no understanding, no questioning what the Omega needed. So many of them suffered. They didn't speak up, didn't search for help. Everyone around us acted as if it was normal.
“Since I've been in Collier Cover, I've seen the complete opposite. People respect one another. They ask for help and show up in ways I thought were fairy tales. I want to be mated to Hutton. I just need a bit more time. I think in a few days, it'll be better.”
The message ended there. I immediately went to the next one and started it.
He said mostly the same things, though this time he talked about receiving the gift basket I'd sent and then the potted plant, the comfy blanket, the chocolate treats, which I was unsure about.Every detail he went through for the next two videos warmed my heart. I could see the timestamp on them meant he’d spaced them out a couple of days. The last video was marked as being recorded late the night before.
I wondered just what I would find. Had he already been in a heat haze? Was he aware enough to understand the gift he'd given me by recording these?
When he came on screen, his face was slightly flushed. It was nothing like he looked now. You could still tell the haze had started.
“I'm recording this now because I think something is happening to me. My body feels like it's on fire. Like I can't get cool and all I want is to roll around in my Alpha’s skin. It's a really creepy thing to say out loud, but I don't know how else to put it.
“I think I'm going to go see him tomorrow. I have to tell him how I feel. This desire building inside me is only getting more intense. In the other videos, I mentioned how much I want him and how I wanted to be mated to him. I'm still not where I would like to be, but waiting any longer just feels foolish at this point.
“Hutton wants me. He wants a future with me. And I want the same with him. Putting it off doesn't make any kind of sense. I'm gonna sleep on it and then tomorrow, I'll go to him. I can't wait to see his reaction. I can't wait to be his mate officially. Souli is gonna lose her mind. I think I'll wait until after to tell her.”
The video ends with him frozen, an amused smirk gracing his handsome face. It was beautiful. A gift. A blessing. Everything I dreamed of and more.
Placing the phone down, I turned to him. He wore a look that was similar though this one was met with his flushed skin and wide eyes.
“You want to be mine?” I asked, my voice soft as I cupped his cheeks.
He leaned into my touch, his eyes closing. “Yes, Alpha.”
His reply broke through the last of my restraint. I kissed him with everything I had. It wasn't wild and passionate. More gentle and all-encompassing. I wanted him to feel it deep in his bones that I would never ever let him down.
As we kissed, he inched closer to me. His body was drawn to mine like a magnet. I knew what he needed. Knew that my knot was the only relief that would quell this spell he was in.
Pulling back, I grabbed his hips to stop the grinding he had begun against my leg. “Alpha,” he whined.
