Page 37 of In Death, Love Survives
“I know the odds of me getting out the first time are slim, but fuck if I don’t want it. I’ve served twenty years in here. It’s my time.”
“I’m up next week too, man,” another prisoner, Jack, says.
“It’s fucking terrible. Sorry, Doc,” Rim says.
“It’s okay. Please continue.”
“Yesterday, I was a four. Today, I’m a seven. I have a feeling I’ll be going all over the scale until it happens, and I learn my fate one way or another.”
“I know exactly what you mean,” Jack adds.
Jack and Rim both continue to share how they’re feeling, with a few other patients chiming in with their experiences.
One by one, almost every prisoner, except for Toby and Wolfe, shares how they are doing. First, by sharing their scale number of the day, a system I implemented to get people to start talking at all, and then as little or as much as they would like to.
“Thank you all for sharing today. Please remember that in here, we’re all here for one another. Take this mentality with you as you continue outside this room. And I’ll be following up with some of you individually to discuss one-on-one sessions based upon today.”
“Thank you,” they say in variations.
Walls and another officer come into the room and start to take them back into the open population areas. It’s a little before eleven, which means everyone is still congregating before yard time.
Wolfe doesn’t look at me as he leaves at the end of the line.
The door shuts behind him, and I’m alone once again.
Another time when I wish I weren’t.
FIVE
Wolfe
Doctor Nova Fletcheris something else.
I only attended group to get more insights into who she is. The woman fascinates me. Even though I should be focused on my plans to leave here, I’m more fixated on the woman down the hall.
She handled every single prisoner with care in that room, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything like it. It’s as if she thinks she can make a difference in our lives, and as much as I want to mock it, I can’t, given how pure of heart she must be to have these notions.
Each of these fuckers left thinking she was an angel, but little do they know how I feel about the doctor.
“Wolfe, what do you want me to do about it?” Toby asks.
I peer up at him as I take a drag of my cigarette.
“What’s this about?”
“Come on, man,” Toby says with a nervous sigh.
I stare at him blankly.
“The new guys. They come in this afternoon.”
New guys. Another set of prisoners coming into this hellhole. The only bright side is my angel, who I’m learning the other men adore.
A pang of jealousy courses through me at the thought. Nova is mine, whether they like it or not.
“Do what you usually do.”
“You don’t want to be involved?”
