Page 24 of Run the Play
“I need to. I want to.” I inhale and slowly release the breath from my lungs, and then I start to talk.
“This is a long one. Before I start, I don’t want your pity. You need my background to understand why I stayed, and I value your friendships.” I take a minute to glance at Corie, Sloane, and even the guys. They’re all my friends. “I’ve never truly had friends that were mine… just for me. I want you to understand why I freaked out.”
“We love you,” Sloane tells me. “You’re one of us.”
The group murmurs their agreement while Landry keeps his hand on my knee. Somehow, his touch is grounding. It’s been so long since I’ve felt a comforting touch, and never one like this—given for the sake of nothing but comfort, not out of any kind of obligation.
“I grew up in foster care. I won’t bore you with the specifics, but by the time my mother lost all parental rights, I was too old for those who were looking to adopt. I bounced around from foster home to foster home. Everything I owned didn’t fill up a trash bag. The families I lived with… most of them were in it for the money or for an older kid to watch and entertain their younger biological children. When I was eight, I was placed with a good family. They were nice to me, and I didn’t feel afraid to go to bed at night. Three months later, my foster dad was transferred to a new job out of state, and back to another home I went.” I pause, taking a breath, staring down at Landry’s hand that’s still on my knee.
“I was one of the lucky ones. I’ve heard so many horror stories from foster homes. I’ve lived them alongside some of my foster siblings, but for me, I was spared the worst of the worst. However, there were no hugs, no simple touches, no smiles or reassurances.” My hands are on my lap, and Landry reaches over and laces his fingers through mine, giving my hand a gentle squeeze.
“No more,” he says. His voice is gravelly, and his eyes are full of remorse. I hate it, but at least it’s not pity I see staring back at me.
I give him a short, stiff smile and continue with my story before I lose my nerve. “It was never home. I was always a guest. I was never allowed to grab a snack from the kitchen or watch my favorite shows. I was an inconvenience. A paycheck.” Landry’s hand tightens on mine, which holds all of my attention.It’s why I don’t notice Corie as she comes at me from behind and wraps her arms around me in a hug.
“I’m so sorry, Rowan. And no, this is not pity. This is me caring for my friend. This is me showing you that you’re not an inconvenience, and you’re not a paycheck. You’re someone I care about.”
“We care about you,” Sloane says, hopping off Reid’s lap, coming over to us, and wrapping her arms around both of us. I’m sure that we all look ridiculous, but my heart doesn’t care as it swells in my chest for these two incredible ladies.
My friends.
“Back it up, ladies,” Reid says, and before I know it, the girls step away, and he’s taking their place, followed by Baker, Foster, Knox, and then there’s Landry. His hand is still locked around mine, and he leans in close, using his free arm to hug me tightly to his chest.
“You are so much more, Roe,” he whispers before pulling back, still not releasing my hand.
I take comfort in his touch. I know I shouldn’t, and I swore to myself that I’d never let another man get close enough to give me false hope, but that’s not what this is. He’s just being a nice guy, a friend, and I can definitely use that for the next part of my confession.
“In school, I kept my head down and focused on making the grades. Partly because it was required of me by my foster family and the other part because I knew that when I graduated and turned eighteen, I would be on my own. I needed scholarships to make it to college, and I needed to pick a career that was a quick degree because I would be on my own.”
Landry hands me the bottle of water I was sipping from, and I take another long pull before placing it back on the table. “I met Chaz in college. We had an anatomy class together, and we were placed in a group project. He flirted with me and gave me lots ofattention, and as someone who had never received it, I soaked up everything he was willing to give me like a sponge.”
“You don’t have to keep going,” Corie tells me.
“It’s okay. I need to get this out so you can understand my reaction.” Pulling in a deep breath, I start again. “He was nice to me. He did little things like making sure I got into my dorm okay and brought my favorite coffee. He was popular and handsome, and it appeared that he was giving me all of his extra time and attention. It felt like he was mine. I’d never had that, you know? Someone who was mine. Someone who cared and was in my corner because they wanted to be, not because they were paid to be. The year he got drafted, I graduated with my associate’s degree. I was a physical therapist assistant, and the plan was to find a job, start working, and then eventually return to school to become a full-time therapist. However, Chaz asked me to go with him. He wanted me, and at the time, I was young and impressionable, and I wanted to be wanted.”
My heart is racing, but I’m almost there. I need to keep pushing through. “I went. We moved from Michigan to Los Angeles, and that’s when things began to change slowly. He would be gone all the time. I know this industry is busy, but he would often come home at late hours. Our house was a constant party. Not just people coming over to hang out. We’re talking booze, people I’d never met, and it felt like half of the time, Chaz didn’t know them either. He always needed to be surrounded and be the center of attention. One night, one of the guys paid me too much attention. That was the first time he hit me. I smiled at the man, and Chaz hated that.”
I swallow hard, not sure I can get through this after all, but Landry squeezes my hand gently, reminding me these are my people. For the first time, I keep pushing forward. “He said he was sorry, wiped my tears, and held me all night. It was the first time in months he’d shown me any kind of affection.”
“Motherfucker,” Landry curses under his breath.
“It kept happening. Degrading me for what I was wearing, how I looked, for talking to someone too long, looking at them with interest, which I never did. Chaz pushed me around. A slap here or there turned into a more regular occurrence. It was never hard enough to cause serious injury. I knew it was wrong to stay as long as I did, but I was scared. He was all I had, and I didn’t know where to go or what to do.”
Swallowing back the lump in my throat, I blink back tears and push forward. “One night, there was a knock at the door. I didn’t think anything of it. It was a couple of vaguely familiar guys. They forced their way into the house, claiming they would wait for Chaz. They seemed shady, but they were nice enough and never touched me. However, when Chaz got home, he was pissed there were guys in the house with just me. He accused me of cheating, something only he did in our relationship, which I found out from his confession after I left. He hit me, and this time, he hit hard enough that he fractured my jaw and broke two of my ribs. I was bruised and battered. I painfully, very slowly, drove myself to the hospital and told them I was jumped. I was never seen out with Chaz publicly. Something else that changed between us after he was drafted, so no one recognized me. As soon as I was released, I got in my car and drove. I didn’t care where I ended up, but I knew I wasn’t going back to him.
“I slept in my car a few nights, not wanting to spend all my money on a hotel room. I spent a lot of time in restaurants with Wi-Fi as I searched for jobs, and it led me here, to Nashville.”
“You were meant to be here,” Knox says. His voice is gruff. “You were meant to be a part of our Rampage family.”
“You were meant to come into our lives and be our friend. We needed you, and we didn’t even know it,” Corie says, wiping tears from her eyes.
“What she said,” Sloane chimes in and wipes at her eyes as well.
“How do we stop this?” Foster asks. “How do we keep this tool from coming to our city and our team?”
“We can’t,” Baker says. He holds up his phone. “The deal’s done.”
“I should have said something sooner, but I never imagined this would happen. I don’t know how he figured out where I was. I dumped my phone, which was linked to his, and I blocked his number in the new one, just in case. Right after that, I called him and told him we were done and that I would never come back. He then told me things I won’t repeat, including that I was the reason he was cheating on me.”
