Page 47 of Run the Play
He rubs his thumb over my knee. “Because you have a good heart.” His tone is soft, almost tender.
“You all have given me so much,” I tell him. “Friends who are my own. People to spend time with who actually want to spend time with me, not pretend because of who I’m dating.”
“Hey, I’m a cool guy,” he says.
“You know what I mean. We’re pretending.”
“Yeah,” he says, leaning closer, resting his head on my shoulder. His scent wraps around me like a warm embrace.
We’re both quiet after that. Camden is sleeping peacefully in my arms, and I feel my body relax into the couch. Landry snuggles closer, and for a brief second, I let myself pretend that he’s really mine. That his touch is more than just something casual. I never thought I’d be ready to put myself out there again, but coming to Nashville has changed me.
Saved me.
It has a lot to do with the man using my shoulder as a pillow. Landry’s confidence in keeping Chaz at bay is unparalleled. I’ve never had someone in my corner like he is. Not just Landry, allof them. My friends. My family by choice. That’s what they’ve given me, and I hope that I can provide them with a fraction of that back in return. So, yes, whatever Baker needs for this little cuddle bug, I’m there.
I was once alone and feeling as if there was no one to catch me when I fell. And now, I have lots of someones, and I’ll never take them for granted.
Landry’s soft breath against my neck tells me he’s sound asleep. Carefully, not to startle him awake or jostle the baby, I slide out from underneath him and make my way to the kitchen. I find a baby carrier on the island and smile. That’s exactly what I need.
In no time, I have Camden strapped in against my chest, and I get to work cleaning up the kitchen. I don’t start the dishwasher, not wanting it to disturb anyone, but it’s loaded and ready to go when everyone wakes up.
Just as I’m finishing and wiping off the counters, Camden starts to get fussy. “It’s okay, buddy,” I soothe. “Are you hungry? Let’s make you a bottle.” I do just that, grab a bottle of water for myself, and move back to the living room. Landry is still out, so I settle into the recliner that also rocks. I work Camden out of the carrier and settle him in my arms to eat.
“There you go,” I say softly. “All better. You were hungry, huh?” I ask him. He sucks on his bottle like it’s been days since he’s had food, and I can’t help but smile at the little guy. “You keep eating like that, you’ll be big and strong like your daddy and your uncles,” I tell him.
He fusses a little when I have to pull the bottle away to burp him, but the little guy knows the drill and is able to get right back to eating. He finishes his entire bottle and is snoozing, but I know he needs a diaper change.
“Come on, buddy, let’s go change your diaper, and then you can rest.” Taking the bottle to the kitchen, I rinse it out one-handed and then head down the hall to his room. A quick diaper change later, and he’s all snuggled up in his little Nashville Rampage blanket. I’m pretty sure it was a gift from Knox and Corie. It’s cute and very fitting for this little guy.
I pick up some dirty laundry and toss it into the hamper by the changing table. I’ll start a load once the guys wake up. Knowing the house is calm and quiet, I take a seat in the rocking chair and settle in. I’m content to sit here and rock this little man while his daddy and his uncle get some rest. I don’t sleep, but instead, I let myself think about how much my life has changed. I somehow found the courage to start over on my own, and it was the absolute best decision I’ve ever made in my life.
I startle awake when I feel someone touching my face. My eyes pop open to find Landry crouched next to the rocker, smiling at me. “There she is,” he whispers. “I didn’t mean to wake you.” My hand still rests on Camden’s back, and we’re both sweaty.
“I didn’t mean to fall asleep,” I say, my voice raspy with sleep.
“I was checking on the two of you. I woke up alone. You want me to take him?”
“I’ll put him in his crib.” Slowly, I stand and place Camden down. He shudders a breath but doesn’t wake up. “Your daddy’s right. You do have your days and nights mixed up,” I tell the sleeping baby.
I feel a warm body come up behind me. Landry wraps his arms around my waist and rests his chin on top of my head. “He’s a cute kid.”
“He is,” I agree, leaning into his chest, soaking up his warmth.
“Do you want kids?” he asks.
“If you would have asked me a couple of years ago, I would have said no. There was no way I wanted to bring an innocent child into that environment. Now, things look a little brighter. Today, my answer is yes. Hopefully, one day, I’ll be able to have a family of my own.”
“Me too,” Landry says, his voice barely audible. “Corie and I, we lost our dad first. We were both young, but Corie was only five years old. I don’t think she remembers him much.”
“I’m sorry for your loss.” Tears prick my eyes. Corie told me they’d lost their parents, but hearing it from him, it’s hard to not react to the emotion I hear in his voice.
His arms tighten around me. “I was twelve. I can still remember coming home from school to find our mom crying on the couch. Dad was killed at work. He was in construction, and a steel beam was loaded wrong and dropped. It landed on him. He was gone instantly.”
“Oh, Landry.” I place my hands over his, and he laces our fingers together. “I can’t even imagine.”
“It was just the three of us then. We had each other, and we were doing okay. We missed him, but we were moving forward. It wasn’t until the summer after Corie graduated from high school that our worlds flipped upside down again. Mom had knee surgery. It was routine. They’ve done thousands of them in the past. The surgery went great, and all was well. However, she developed a blood clot. We didn’t know. It went to her heart, and she was gone.”
His breath shudders, and I can’t take it. I turn in his arms, placing my hands on his chest. “You’ve been through so much.”
