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“Well, does that mean you still want to be with him?”
I looked up at her, chewing at my lip.
Amy chuckled. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you bite your lip.”
“It’s been really hard to keep my composure since he showed up. I haven’t felt like myself at all.”
“Or maybe him showing up has lowered your mask.” She grinned when I looked at her, my eyes wide again. “I know…for an artist who was against relationships, I’m pretty good at this shit.” She flipped her hair.
I rolled my eyes, but her words held some truth. I only came off as the chill bartender because I had gotten so good at hiding my feelings. To the point I forgot I had any at all. Then in under two weeks, all of those feelings were rushing back. “I don’t think I can come clean about what happened to him, though.”
“Hmm. Maybe he wouldn’t react like you think. Or maybe you can move forward without bringing it up?”
“I don’t know. I–” Before I could finish the front door opened, and Miss Perky Pink Scrubs was giggling, and Mike was right behind her, holding the door open.
I turned my face to the bar, heart thudding in my chest. I clenched my jaw as my mind raced.
“Jaz–”
“I gotta go, Amy. Please don’t mention this to Luce.” I swiped my bag from the bar and ran past them. I almost thought I heard him call my name, but my ears were ringing from heat as blood rushed to my face.
My name was muffled behind me as I power walked to my car. Thunder clapped so hard I felt it. Summer storms in Georgia. It was still probably ninety degrees out, but the wind swirled as more thunder clapped nearby followed by a burst of lightning that lit up the night sky briefly. I picked up the pace and finally made it to my car before cranking it quickly and then tearing from the parking spot faster than I should have.
Trying hard to keep tears from falling and to ignore my phone buzzing in my bag, I cranked up the music and blasted the air as high and cold as it would go. Just a few minutes before making it to my apartment complex, the sky opened, and rain pounded down. It was coming down so hard that I had to turn the wipers up all the way.
I slowed down to accommodate the rain and slick streets. I couldn't very well help patients if I landed in the ER myself. Seeing them together kept playing in my head over and over. Pressure built behind my eyes, but I held out until I pulled into the parking lot. Then the tears fell as hard as the rain beating down on the windshield.
Looking around, I saw Onyx’s car, so I had to pull myself together. I let a hard sob come out then swallowed and drew in a deep breath before slowly blowing it out. I did this a few more times until the bouncing of my shoulders subsided and the tears stopped. I was just turning the car off after wiping my face when a banging on the window had me nearly jump from my skin.
Chapter 12
Mike
Pulling into a parallel spot near the club, I got out and looked up and down the street, hoping to see Jaz’s car. Once I made it to the door I looked again, and it was there. We had been running into each other at work, having lunch together, and both ended up at the club a few times in the last week or so. I didn’t mean to run into her, not every time at least, but my heart skipped a beat every time we ended up in the same room.
She wasn’t so tense anymore and didn’t back away when I hugged her or even put my hand to the small of her back as I held doors open for her. Randy and I had discussed her several more times and he pointed out he caught her watching me a lot when I was busy. Once he pointed that out, I began to notice as well.
I still wasn’t sure what would happen, but I was more confident that at some point, I could dig deeper on what was happening between us. She was holding something back, but Iknewsomething was there. Maybe she did just want to be friends, but I was a grown man. You miss one hundred percent of the shots you don’t take. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I didn’t at least try. I’d rather live with rejection than regret. I didn’t want to make her uncomfortable again, but I could always back off and give her space.
I just had to find the right time and the right way to have that conversation without freaking her out, in case I was way off base thinking she was remotely having the same thoughts that I was. I was excited to see she was there so I could bring up maybe having lunch or dinner outside of the hospital soon so we could talk. The club was neutral ground so she wouldn’t feel boxed in if she wanted to say no. If I brought it up at the apartments or work, it could put her in a weird position.
I was still psyching myself up to go inside when I heard someone call out, “Mike!”
Turning, I saw a smiling face. “Hey, Nikki. What brings you here?”
She answered as she made her way to the door. “Meeting some of the girls for a drink. Crazy day and we heard there’s a hot bartender here to ogle.”
I chuckled. “Oh, Matt? I guess if you like the rugged handsome type. My buddy owns this place, but I was hoping to talk to, well, never mind.”
“Mike, it’s okay.” She finally made it to the door. “We’ve all seen you eating with her. She’s gorgeous and seems friendly. Is that who you hoped to see?”
I grinned and my cheeks got warm. “You got me. I’m just nervous.”
She squeezed my wrist and smiled up at me. “Well, don’t be. If she’s crazy enough to turn you down, there’s a line of nurses at the hospital desperate to talk to you. Now let’s go in before my friends think I got lost.”
I pulled the door and followed Nikki in, immediately spotting Jaz at the bar with Amy. My grin spread even wider as I took a few steps toward the bar. Nikki turned to wave and then bounced off to a table on the other side of the club, but when I looked back up, Jaz had just as quickly jumped off the stool and flown past me, out the door.
Amy shot daggers at me, catching me off guard.What was her problem?
