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“No! Don’t pull this shit. I amoverit.” Her hands balled into fists at her hips. Her nostrils flared as she glared down at me. “Who are you? This is not my sister. I thought I was imagining things before, but now that I actually see you occasionally, I know it’s not. I get needing to be all calm as a bartender at a club but this whole dead-inside-thing isn’t you. So, who are you?”
Taking deep breaths to calm my heart rate, I shot back. “Onyx, I don’t understand what you’re talking about, and I’ve been living here for a few years so why are you acting like you just started talking to me?”
“Yeah, you’ve been sleeping here, but you were never home until you quit the club. From what little I see you now, you act like you’re still working the bar with a bunch of strangers. Even at Mom and Dad’s you’re just so, out there. And how can you be so ‘oh we’re just together,’” she said mockingly, “about Mike?”
“I’m not overly emotional. I don’t know what you want me to say. I’m sorry I didn’t say more about Mike, but I didn’t realize this was high school all over again.” I stood, getting frustrated with the conversation. I tried to walk past her, but she grabbed my arm hard. “Let me go Onyx, what’s wrong with you?”
Her brows furrowed deep, and her lip trembled. Her dark eyes darted between mine. “What happened to you, sis?”
“Nothing!” I shouted and yanked my arm from hers and stormed to my room. It was my turn to slam the door. I wasn’t even to my bed before the door flung open. “Get out!”
“I will not. This is my damn apartment anyway.” Onyx abruptly stopped yelling but spoke firmly. “And I will not be moving or letting you leave until you tell me what the fuck is going on,” she said as she crossed her arms over her chest.
“Onyx, just drop it.”
She stepped right in front of my face and grabbed my shoulders. “I know there’s something. And it’s eating at you. Did you forget I grew up with you? You only lived somewhere else for four years of your life.” She squeezed my arms as I swallowed hard, trying to keep everything from bubbling up. “I know when you’re holding something back. I just don’t know how long it’s really been.”
The lump in my throat wouldn’t go back down and blood rushed to my chest and face. I held my breath, trying to keep everything inside. “I can’t.” It was all I could whisper without completely losing it.
“Jaz. I am your sister. If you can’t tell me, who can you tell?” Her dark eyes were glassy as they searched my face. “Oh, God,” she practically whispered. “You haven’t told anyone. Jaz did–did someone hurt you?”
I shook my head and sucked in a fresh breath, still trying to hold it together.
“Did Mike hurt you? Did he…he didn’t cheat?”
I couldn’t help but chuckle, but with that tears finally squeezed from my eyes. Shaking my head hard, I answered, “No! He would never.” I sniffled, trying to keep the slow tears under control.
“Did…you do something then?”
My bottom lip quivered, and I tried tucking it under my teeth, by my chin took over.
“Jaz,” she whispered.
“It’s not what you think, though. I would never have cheated on him, Onyx. I swear.” The tears were flowing freely now.
She shook me gently. “Jaz, what the hell happened?”
My nostrils flared as I finally gave up trying to hold it all in before I blurted it out, my tears flying off my lips as I did. “I was pregnant.”
Her mouth fell open, forming a perfect ‘O.’ She still had me by the shoulders, but her grasp lightened. “Jaz. When?”
I wiped my face with one hand and stepped back, sitting on the bed. She stood motionless. “After he left.”
“For Cali? Jaz, that was–”
“A long time ago, I know.”
She slowly approached the bed, then sat next to me. I didn’t look up.
She blew out a loud breath. “But what happened? Did you…ya know?”
Grasping the bed with both hands, I kept looking down at the floor. I wiped the fresh tears from my face and swallowed hard. I sucked in another deep breath and turned my face to the ceiling. “I had some pretty severe abdominal pain and got sick. My roommate thought it was my appendix bursting or something and called the school medic. So, they did some tests. It wasn’t viable.” I wiped my face again as my shoulders bounced.
“What do you mean? You had a miscarriage?”
I shook my head, my lip still trembling uncontrollably. “No.” I had to pause. “It was ectopic.”
Onyx’s arm draped over my shoulder. “Sis, oh my God. What happened?”
