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“Did you ever think of me?”
I clenched my jaw. This was taking a weird turn, but I answered honestly. “I thought of you every day.”
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.” She shook her head and sipped the drink.
“It’s alright. But since you brought it up, did you ever think of me?”
She looked down at the coffee table and bit at her lip.
“You know what. It’s been a long day, you’ve been drinking, and I have work tomorrow. Let’s just get ready for bed, okay?”
She stood and chugged the sports drink then clumsily walked toward the bathroom. I grabbed the waters and some pills for her head then took them to the nightstand for her.
She came into the room, so I headed to the bathroom then undressed down to my boxer briefs. Once back in the bedroom, I tossed the clothes into the hamper. She was already snuggled up under the covers and I noticed the pills were gone.
Once I climbed into bed, I turned my lamp off and fell to the pillow. My mind was racing as I lay in the dark. I had started to ask her about what happened but stopped myself because she was not in her right mind, and it wouldn’t be fair. But I was stone sober. And the conversation with Jason earlier had me wondering about other things, too.
We had discussed having a family before I left lots of times. The last time was the night she broke up with me. Tonight, she seemed like it was just kids making silly plans. But it wasn’t to me. I wanted a life with her. A family. And still did.
But what the hell happened?
“Mike, you still awake?”
“Yeah, baby. What’s up?”
“I can’t sleep.”
I scooted up to her and draped my arm over her, pulling her close against me. “Just close your eyes.”
“I need to tell you something.”
My heart thumped in my chest, but I tried hard not to react. I just kept holding her. After swallowing hard, I said, “Okay. What’s up?”
She was still facing away from me, her back to my stomach. Her stomach quivered lightly.
“Jaz. Are you alright?” Her body began trembling gently and she sniffled. I leaned up on my elbow and looked down at her. It was dark, but my eyes were adjusted enough to make out her shape.
“I need to tell you but you’re going to hate me,” she said through shaky breaths, “but I have to tell you.”
I moved my hand up to her face and stroked it gently. “Jaz, I’ll never hate you. You can tell me anything.” I almost regretted saying that, because what if she slept with another man? I would never hate her, but could I forgive her? Would I get over it?
“I was pregnant.”
My breath hitched. “Pregnant? I thought you had an IUD?”
“I do now. It was then.”
Even though the room was dark, my eyes darted around to the shadows of the room while my brain processed what she was saying.
“It was in college.”
I had a million questions and didn’t know where to start.
“Mike?”
“Sorry. I–I just–when in college?”
She burrowed into the bed and moved away from me a little. I wasn’t sure if she wanted the space or thought I did. “I found out when you left.”
