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“Can you ever sit still?”
“Yes.” I could practically feel her eyeroll from behind me. “Okay, maybe not. I’m used to moving. I thought I would be constantly on the go once I started the internship, but I feel like I have more time than before.”
“Is that why you always worked at the club?”
I turned at the waist and looked up at her. “I worked because I needed money.”
“You worked every day.Every single day.Are you telling me you racked up tips on a Tuesday?”
“Tuesday used to have a band play so yes, I did well,” I deadpanned.
“You know what I mean. You did the same thing at the chain restaurant near Spelman. Anytime I checked on you it was always the same, class or work, picking up double shifts, volunteering at clinics. You never had a free moment.”
“And?”
“AndI think you’d rather busy yourself than face your emotions. It’s okay to be sad. If you never allow yourself time to process, how do you expect to have any meaningful relationships?”
“I’m not taking relationship advice from someone who loves being single.”
She crouched down to me. “I don’t just mean that kind of relationship. I mean ours, our parents, your friends. You don’t have to drown while trying to save the world, Jaz.” She stood, then walked back to her bedroom.
My shoulders slumped, and I sighed. I was spring cleaning at the end of summer on one of my only days off. I hated facing my own problems and I couldn’t pretend she was wrong.But what do I do?Standing and going to the freezer, I opened it to find no sweet treats. Based on a handful of movies I’d seen, ice cream is pertinent to dealing with sadness.
Glancing at the stove and seeing it was close to four, I decided a ride to the square for a good frozen dessert.
Since it was a Monday afternoon, there was plenty of parking near the old-fashioned ice cream shop. I hadn’t been inside in ages. It was on the same street as the club, and I drove past it daily but hadn’t stopped for years.
It had a bright pink sign and cheerful murals of rainbows, clouds, and sunshine rays painted on the windows. It smelled sweet, even outside. I had my hand on the door when a familiar squeal startled me.
“Eeee, Jaz!” Lucy was power walking toward me.
“Hey, where are you rushing to?” I asked as she squeezed me.
“I was headed to the club. Left the station a bit ago but stopped to grab a few bridal magazines.” She waved them as she wiggled and grinned like a little girl. “What are you up to?”
“Uh, needed something sweet, so I figured I’d grab some ice cream.”
Her brow furrowed and she stepped in closer. “Jaz, is everything okay?”
I nodded and the words, “Yeah, I’m fine,” almost rolled off my lips. Instead, I stopped nodding and shook my head. “Not really.”
Lucy rubbed my shoulder and tilted her head. “Want some company?”
Relieved that she offered, I replied, “I’d like that.”
We went inside and were wrapped in a cloud of vanilla and sugar heaven. Lucy dropped the magazines on a table that was open by the window then walked to the counter with me. Huge tubs of assorted colors and flavors of ice cream lined the counter that was covered by a clear plastic barrier. A young girl, probably a high school student if I had to guess, with a long brown ponytail in a rainbow-colored shirt came over with a huge smile to greet us. “Hey, y’all. What can I get ya?”
Lucy ordered Rocky Road with whipped cream, and I asked for a Banana Split. The girl made quick and fun work of filling our orders and rang us up.
We settled at our table, and both took our first bites with long moans.
“Umm…good stuff. I can’t believe I don’t come in here more often,” Lucy said. “So, what’s up, lady? You seem down.”
I poked at the ice cream. “I sort of messed up things with Mike. At least I feel like I did.”
Lucy didn’t speak but nodded as she took another bite of her chocolate treat.
“It sounds so silly now.” I lowered my spoon and leaned in. “Have you ever kept a secret so long that it changed you? And past a certain point, you just figured it would never come out?”
