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The talk with Jason did help me confirm something; regardless of everything, I still loved her. Now I just had to figure out if that was enough to fight for us, especially if she was trying to push me away. I didn’t know if I could take losing her again. I’d never really gotten over her anyway. The pain just dulled over time.
I put the dumbbells away and wiped down the equipment. After finishing my water and toweling off, I made the short walk back to my apartment. It was dark outside, but the streetlights were leading the way back and the breezeway lights had started to glow.
I rounded the corner to my door and nearly tripped over my own feet.There she was.
“Hey,” I said.Hey? Knots tightened in my stomach.
Jaz scrambled to her feet. She had been sitting against the building. “Hey. Umm.” She looked down at her nails.
“Want to come inside?”
She nodded and stepped from the doorway so I could unlock it and I waved her inside. Her apple blossom scent wafted to my nose, and I couldn’t help but breathe it in. She stood near the breakfast bar, her arms crossed over her chest.
“You thirsty or anything?” I asked as I refilled my water bottle and set my bag down.
“I’m fine, thanks.”
I took a big swig of water then put the bottle down. “Sorry about this morning. I had to go to work.”
“And think about things.”
I nodded. “Yes. It was a lot.”
She still wasn’t looking up at me but continued, “Mike, I’m sorry. I know I did so many wrong things. But I can’t take them back.”
“Why did you tell me?”
She finally looked up. I almost hated that I asked, but I needed to know.
“Well, I mean. It was there, eating away at us both. Maybe I was being selfish by telling you now. But I knew you needed to know what happened, even though you said you didn’t.”
“Is that the only reason?”
She cocked her head as her brows furrowed. “What other reason would there be?”
I shrugged then swallowed hard, trying to muster the strength to just ask outright. “Do you not want to be with me, Jaz? Are you trying to push me away?”
“No, but maybe it’s too late.” Tears filled her eyes, and she tightened the grip she had on her crossed arms.
My instinct was to go to her and console her, but everything was still questionable, so I stayed where I was. “Too late? Too late for what?”
Her shoulders shook gently as she drew in a deep breath. She finally stammered out, “I know you were with Nikki tonight at the club.”
Even though I tried not to, a belly laugh burst out.
Her brows shot up; her eyes wide as a tear trickled down her cheek.
“Woman, I went withRandyto the club. Nikki was there with her date. She only came by to say hello.”
She finally uncrossed her arms but only to throw them into the air. “Well, what I am supposed to think? You were mad,” she said, then she held a hand up. “Rightfully so. I know that. Then I don’t hear from you and the next thing I know I’m being told you were sitting with some pretty woman at my old job.”
“Jaz, when are you going to get it through that thick skull that you’re the only one I want. You’ve always been the one.”
Her shoulders drooped. “Still?”
I walked around the counter and stepped in front of her, grabbing her shoulders. “Always. Am I hurt? Yes. But that doesn’t change the fact that I love you.”
Her lip trembled and more tears fell down her cheeks. “I love you so much, Mike. I’m so–sorry!” she wailed before I pulled her close and wrapped her up in my arms.
