Page 22 of Warrior Queen

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My breathing seemed to have suddenly become labored, as though the very air had thickened and was resisting my efforts to inhale. “And?” I whispered.

“Thassa camel,” Amhar said to his little sister. “See his hump? He’s from Afric’. They keeps water in their humps ’cause it’s so hot in Afric’.”

Merlin shook his head. “I’ve looked, but every time I’ve tried, my way is clouded.”

“So you haven’t seen anything?”

He shook his head. “When I see nothing, it’s because nothing comes to me. It’s been different with Medraut. I do see something, but it’s misty and unclear. Vague shapes move in the mist, and I hear muffled sounds. Nothing I can make out. I’ve tried many times, but it’s always the same. As though there’s something there to see… but I’m being prevented from seeing it.”

The voices of the children receded as though at the far end of a tunnel, echoing unclearly. My heart pounded, loud in my ears, and goose pimples prickled up my back. I shivered.

“There may be nothingtosee,” Merlin said, but I could tell he didn’t believe what he was saying. “I’m not always right, you know. No one is. Morgana makes mistakes too, as Arthur’s mother did.”

I stared at him, eyes wide.

He met my gaze. “She didn’t see what would happen if she crossed Uthyr, did she? Didn’t see herself banished to Din Tagel. Separated from the child she loved the best.”

True. I stayed silent.

Merlin nodded. “If she’d seen that coming, would she still have faced Uthyr down? Probably not. Did the fact she faced Uthyr down and lost her son create the future she feared? In all likelihood. We can’t know what the consequences of our actions will be. I’m given a glimpse, from time to time, but it’s only whatmighthappen, not what will… I think…” He paused. “And I can’t even be sure of that…” His voice trailed off.

I bit my bottom lip. “If you were me.” I kept my voice low. “And you knew the future, or what it might hold, what would you do? If you feared, like I do, that if you acted on what you knew, it might make it more likely to happen, but that if you didn’t, it still might happen anyway?”

He gazed back out of troubled eyes. “I don’t know. Do any of us really know? Do even I know if what I see is true? Since… since Morgana, I’ve doubted myself so much. I didn’t see through her. I let her fool me. What kind of a man of magic does that? Was I… am I so weak that a smile from a beautiful woman and the offer of her body robbed me of all my senses?”

“This one’s a lion,” Amhar said. “Rrrroar. Thass what a lion says.”

“Raaahh!” Archfedd copied her brother with relish, banging the lion on top of the ark.

I slid my hand across the table and covered Merlin’s. “She used her arts on you. That’s certain. But what bothers me right now is has she used them on Medraut? Before he was born? Could someone with the Sight do that? Could she influence an unborn child to bend to her will?” I fixed him with a hard stare. “Couldyoudo something like that? Is it possible?”

He ran his free hand through his hair, pushing it back from his face. “I can’t answer that because I don’t know. I’ve never tried, and I never want to. It would be wrong.”

I squeezed his hand. “Shewouldn’t see it as wrong, though, would she?”

He met my gaze. “No, I don’t think she would.”

Chapter Eight

It turned outthat I had very little time to dwell on what Merlin and I had discussed, because hot on the heels of our midsummer celebrations, half a dozen armed horsemen arrived at Din Cadan.

Late on a day so heavy with summer rain that not even the forest on the plain remained visible, they came riding their tired horses up the cobbled road to our gates. With Arthur absent, our guards were especially vigilant with strangers. They kept them standing waiting in the rain until someone from the hall came down to find out where they were from and what they wanted. Only then did they allow them through.

Of course, I saw none of this firsthand, and only heard it later, as I was playing with the children in my chamber with Morgawse and Coventina, while Maia sat sewing in a corner. Medraut, as usual, was ruling the roost. Amhar seemed quite happy to let him, something that irritated me, but then, Medrautwasthe oldest. Despite Medraut’s bossiness and sometimes downright bullying, that Morgawse seemed blind to, Amhar took it all in his stride and looked up to his older cousin with something uncomfortably like hero worship.

At the back of my mind, I’d been half-looking for a reason to suggest Morgawse and her son should return to their home in Caer Legeion. However, the need for me, and Merlin, to keep an eye on Medraut had won over, and so far, I’d done nothing. Even though he was only five, I felt a need to keep him near enough for close scrutiny.

A knock on the door into the Great Hall disturbed us.

I glanced around. “Enter.”

The door swung open to reveal Gwalchmei, Prince of Guotodin, a slight young man whose love of music overrode his love of fighting. “Milady.” His gaze took in all three of us women. “Miladies. Riders have arrived from King Coel Hen, bearing news. They asked for the High King. I told them he’s not here. And Merlin neither– he rode out this morning with his hawk before the rain began.”

I scrambled up from where I’d been sitting cross-legged with the children. “I’ll come.”

“From King Coel? From Ebrauc?” Coventina said, getting up as well, with a slight grimace. “These men have ridden a long way– what can they want?”

“Ebrauc’s in the northeast, so they’ll be after help against Saxon raiders,” Morgawse put in, still seated on the floor with Archfedd cuddled on her knee. “The same thing messengers from other kings always want. Help in battle. They’ll be out of luck this time.”