Page 53 of The Bear's Heart
Finding a nondescript bay gelding no one seemed to have laid claim to, I set about saddling him up. Then, keeping my head down, I swung myself up into the saddle and mingled with the mass of now mounted warriors. I stayed well back from Arthur, Cei and Merlin, and anyone else who might recognize me.
Arthur didn’t even look my way as he prepared to leave the stableyard astride the chestnut he’d been riding since Llamrei had been wounded in Linnuis. Turning to the half-dozen men who remained, he barked a curt order. “When the Queen awakens, make sure she eats. Then ride due south with her to the next villa. It belongs to Caswallan, a good friend of mine. He’ll keep her safe until I return.” And with that last, somewhat vague instruction for my care, he kicked his horse into a trot, and we all clattered out of the courtyard after him.
A good twenty-five miles stretched between Euddolen’s villa and the ringfort of Din Bassas. The wide berth we gave Viroconium took us upstream to a ford on the Sabrina River. Here, where a small village crouched close to the water’s edge, we crossed the wide waterway to the northern bank, watched by a crowd of wary villagers. Leaving them behind, we struck north through farmland and forest, following the valley of one of the Sabrina’s many tributaries along narrow dirt tracks.
I kept my head down and stayed silent toward the back of the column, but I couldn’t hope to stay undetected forever. After we’d forded the Sabrina, I caught the unwelcome attention of Drustans. He brought his horse alongside mine and turned to me with a comradely grin that died on his lips.
“Milady!”
My eyes widened in shocked annoyance that he’d seen through my disguise so easily, and I put a hasty finger to my lips. “Keep quiet.”
His mouth, which had fallen open, shut with a clack of teeth. “What are you doing here?”
“My husband wouldn’t bring me. After five weeks waiting for news in Linnuis, I couldn’t stand another day like that. I had to come.” I reached across and put my hand on his sleeve. “Don’t tell him yet. Please.” I had to keep my voice low lest one of the men riding in front and behind us overheard my words.
“But we’re going to war.” His voice rose in protest, making the heads of the riders in front turn in curiosity. I glared, and he lowered it to an angry hiss. “This is no place for a woman. Still less one who’s…who’s like you are.” He finished with an awkward flush to his cheeks as if he didn’t want to say the words “with child.” They were simply too embarrassing. He glared. “I have to tell the king.”
“No, you don’t,” I hissed back at him. “Because if you do, I’ll have to tell him how I caught you in bed with the Princess Essylt. How you were there before her betrothed husband. How if she bears a child, it could well be yours and not your father’s.”
Shock spread over his boyish face. “You wouldn’t.” The men in front turned to look at us again, and I ducked my head to hide my face, wishing he’d stop talking so loudly.
“Try me,” I said meanly. “You can tell him later, but not until we’re too far from the villa to send me back. I intend to be near enough to know what’s happening when he meets Cadwy. I refuse to put up with waiting back at the villa again.”
He fell silent. I’d won, but at the cost of destroying the trust of the boy beside me. Of course I wouldn’t have told on him, but I’d made him believe I would. Guilt at his glum expression ate into my heart. Was he wondering what else he’d be required to do for me to keep his secret?
The forest thickened, and the land began to rise out of the river valley as the track veered away from the water. Beside me, Drustans rode in stony silence, and I kept my eyes on the forest around us, wondering where Cadwy and his army were. The air hung hot and still, and sweat trickled down my back under my heavy mail shirt. It felt as though this were going to turn into the hottest day we’d had this year. My mouth was dry and papery. If only I’d had the common sense to have brought a bottle of something to drink with me. But as I was also suffering an uncomfortable need to pee, that might not have been such a good idea.
At least the trees afforded us some welcome shade and a brief respite from the buzzing of the interminable flies attracted by our sweating horses. I wiped my sleeve across my damp face for the thousandth time and waved my hand at the swarm of flies circling my head– nearly as many as my horse had. The forest we were riding through hugged the higher ground not far above the wetlands, which probably accounted for the plague of flies.
At last, the column came to a halt. We’d reached the edge of the forest, the trees thinning abruptly as the land sloped down over scrubland toward the marsh. Ahead, rising out of its surrounding, weed-filled lake, lay a low mound which just might have been the remains of a ring fort.
Drustans leaned toward me. “Can I tell him now?”
I nodded, contrite. “I wouldn’t have told him about you and Essylt, you know.”
He gave me a heavy, sulky frown. “You can say that now, but I don’t believe you didn’t mean it then. You’d better come with me.”
To say Arthur was angry would have been a gross underestimation.
“What in God’s name are you doing here?” he almost shouted, only the need for silence keeping him to a more moderate tone. “What part of ‘you can’t come, it’s too dangerous’ didn’t you understand? You’re a woman, and not just an ordinary woman but a queen, and not just an ordinary queen but one who’s bloody well with child. Carrying my heir.” He turned to Drustans, eyes flashing with fury. “How long have you known she was with us?”
Drustans’ eyes widened with fear, and he opened his mouth to drop himself in it.
“He found me just now,” I said, in a hurry to forestall him. “He brought me to you straight away.” I shifted in my saddle. “And I desperately need a pee.”
Arthur put his hand to his head in what looked like exasperation. “When will you learn to do as I bid? By disobeying me you’ve put yourself and everyone else here in terrible danger. I’ll have to leave men to keep you safe, men I need to have fighting by my side. You shouldn’t have done this.”
I felt like a schoolgirl being upbraided by her head teacher, but that didn’t stop my anger with him. My head hung as I regarded my boots, composing words of contrition I didn’t feel. “I couldn’t sit behind and not know what was going on.” My excuse sounded puerile and lame, but I was unrepentant. “Can’t I stay here, hidden with your army?” Even to myself this sounded whiney, but I didn’t care.
“No, you can’t.” Arthur kept his coldly furious voice low. “This is no place for a woman.”
I bristled, mindful of the number of women who fought in the front line in the twenty-first century. “I don’t care. I don’t want to fight. I only want to be close by while you’re meeting that bastard Cadwy.”
A ghost of a smile flashed across his face before his brows came together again in a heavy frown. “That’s a woman’s lot. You need to remember your place. I won’t have you disobeying me.”
I was furious in return. Obey him? Only the fact that we were arguing in front of his men kept me silent, but I seethed with righteous anger.
Ignoring me, Arthur nodded to Drustans. “As you’re the lucky man who found her, I’m giving you the task of being her guard. Take two others and ride back along the track a way, well back from the forest edge. At least a mile. No, make that two. No, in fact, escort her back to where she’s meant to be. And take her for a pee when you’re somewhere safe.”
