Page 40 of A Lesson in Deceit
River slid his hand up my leg again, stopping right between my legs. “That’s what you want?”
“You’re being honest with us?” Grayson kept looking from where my hand was on his leg to my face like if he looked too long at one, then the other would cease to exist.
“You want to make me happy, then I want you to be happy too.” I erased any sort of modesty from my mind and moved my hands so that my fingers ran over the hardened cocks that were pressed against their pants. “You want to make me happy, don’t you?” I bit one corner of my lower lip, batting my eyelashes.
I didn’t know when I’d got so brazen in a matter of minutes, but I kept telling myself that I’d wanted this to happen for a while now and I was finally ready and willing to ask for it. I knew for a fact they were equally ready to give it to me.
“Fuck, happy. I’m prepared to make you scream, gorgeous.” River kissed me, while I rubbed my hand across the shape of him. He groaned into my mouth, breaking the kiss and turning my head.
Grayson took one of my braids and slid his fingers down it, twirling the end. He leaned in and the fact that River was watching so intently, had me fidgeting to get his hands to touch me more. Grayson’s lips barely touched mine. “I’ll be as gentle as you want,akingsinta.”
I was so used to him calling me trouble that the new name caught me off guard, but now wasn’t the time for me to ask what it meant. The smile he had disappeared when his lips crashed against mine and his tongue tangled with my own. I moaned against him; things were going from almost a slow motion to hyper speed. I was trying to wrap my mind around where their hands were and where to place mine now that we were really going for this.
In my mind this was simple and easy, especially when it wasallin my head. I could just blink it away when I was done. I needed to just let go and let this moment between the three of us happen, just like I’d envisioned. I had rubbed them overtheir pants and they both seemed to enjoy that, I could handle anything else…right?
Right…? Fuck…I could feel the panic starting to make a home in my chest.
River’s hands moved towards the waistband of my pants and Grayson’s lips explored the side of my neck, but the confidence I’d had no more than a few minutes ago was waning thin, preparing to snap, ceasing to exist.
I wasn’t uncomfortable with them, but I had no idea how overwhelming this was until I was right here sandwiched between them, facing my wildly forward behavior. I wanted their hands. I wanted their mouths. What I didn’t want was to feel like I wasn’t fully present with them, like I couldn’t even enjoy it myself. Everything felt good, but my head could be a real cock block sometimes.
River’s hands went to unbutton my pants, when I pulled away from Grayson looking into his dark brown eyes that had so much lust and desire swimming in them. He leaned in for a kiss, but I leaned back, shaking my head a little.
“What’s wrong?” Grayson asked, his expression instantly turning into one of concern.
“Woah, what happened?” River’s hands stopped touching me and they both backed off, nearly flying to opposite ends of the couch. His voice was full of worry, and I watched as they glanced quickly at each other, then back at me.
I took a deep breath, letting out what I hoped was a playful laugh. I shook my head, faster than I would have liked and awkwardly patted their legs. “Nothing, just a little in my head stuff, that’s all. Don’t be concerned about it. We can get back to…."
My voice trailed off when I saw River’s eyebrows turn inward. He pulled his lips in and dipped his head down to reallyfocus on me. “Most everything you do concerns me, gorgeous. You can be in your head about anything else, but not this.”
I shifted my gaze to Grayson, who was leaning back against the arm of the couch. “Do you want to talk about it?”
I huffed. “There is nothing to talk about.”
River nodded slowly, clucking his tongue. He turned so that he was facing the TV, reaching for the remote on the coffee table. “Okay, fine. We are ready to talk about whatever made you hesitate and want to stop whenever you are, only then can we consider continuing. For now, you can pick a movie you’d like to watch.” He dangled the remote in front of me, the most casual look on his face.
I gaped at him, waiting for Grayson to say something, at least in my defense, but he said nothing. I was still turned on, but I also kind of wanted to laugh at the current situation and what I’d just done to the mood. I felt like I could breathe a little bit more now even though I was frustrated as hell at the predicament I’d currently placed myself in.
I stood up abruptly, gaining their immediate attention. “I’ll be back.”
“Where are you going?” Grayson called, when I’d made it to the stairs.
“I’ll be back, okay.” I repeated, taking the stairs two at a time until I was pushing open River’s bedroom door and collapsing on his bed.
I would assume most people in my position would think I was an idiot for ruining the moment. I had two guys that thought the world of me and wanted to make me feel good in any and every way possible. The dynamics of a threesome were difficult to wrap my brain around since I’d only ever watched them on the internet or read about them, but the thought of being with River and Grayson had me wanting to explore those dynamics. Ididn’t understand why I was subconsciously creating this rift in whatever tonight could have been.
Watching a movie and just doing things the way we used to would probably be for the best. They would happily put their needs aside just so that I was comfortable, but I had needs too. And I really, really wanted them. I just…fuck…
A knock sounded at the door and it opened slowly. River poked his head in, a tiny smile peeking out from the corner of his lips. “Hi.”
I pulled myself into a sitting position on his bed, grabbing one of his pillows and hugging it to my chest. “Hi.”
His eyes darted around his room. “Can I come in?”
“It is your room, ya know.”
He chuckled softly. “Mhmm, but if you want your space then I understand. Reading your mind would make this a hell of a lot easier to proceed.”
