Page 72 of Wish I Were Here
And having more fun than I’ve ever had in my life.
I quickly swipe to answer. “Hello? Dr. Gupta?”
“Catherine?”
“Yes?”
“Catherine, is that you?” Dr. Gupta sounds annoyed. “Are you at a rodeo? I can barely hear you.”
The music is still blaring, people are milling around laughing and talking, and one of Uncle Vito’s guys is up on a ladder with a power drill.
“Sorry.” I dart across the room to slip into the supply closet. The noise dims into the background. “Is this better?”
“I suppose so.”
I clear my throat. “How can I help you, sir?”
“I’m calling to remind you that classes start the week after next.”
The bass from the music out in the gym has faded, but now my anxious pulse beats in my ears. I haven’t looked at my syllabi indays. I’m completely unprepared for the semester to begin. “Of course. I’m aware of that and excited to get started.”
“We’re coming down to the wire here, Catherine. I’m afraid we’re going to have to rescind your offer and hire someone else if this identity snafu doesn’t get resolved soon.”
“No.” I clutch the phone tighter, hoping Dr. Gupta can’t hear the quiver in my voice. “Please don’t hire someone else. I’m really close. I just need another few days.”
“Have you been working on the paper we talked about? Since you can’t be here at the university, I would have expected that you’d at least use the time to work on a draft of the paper.”
“Yes! Yes, of course! I’ve been working on it nonstop.” Except I haven’t been. I’ve barely been thinking about it at all.
“Well, then maybe we can move the deadline up to September.”
“I…” Even without my identity to recover and four classes to plan, churning out an entire research paper by September would be impossible. And it’s ridiculous that he’d expect that of me. Nobody can live up to those standards, especially without any departmental support. I open my mouth to point this out but then quickly clamp it shut. Now isn’t the time to address this, not when I’m about to lose my job. I can talk to Dr. Gupta about deadlines once my identity has been reinstated. When I’m back at work, he’ll be in a better mood. “I’ll be in touch with both you and human resources as soon as possible.”
“You have until Monday,” Dr. Gupta barks. And then he hangs up on me.
I stand in the dark closet, staring at my phone. When I take a deep breath in, my chest squeezes, and I have trouble getting air into my lungs. It’s too hot in here, and I’m lightheaded.
I need to focus.
On getting my identity back. On getting my work done.
I spin on my heel and fumble for the door to make my way back out into the gym. But it’s even hotter here, and themusic is too loud, and the power drill is still whirring overhead. I press my hands to my temples. Luca has joined Dad and Mrs. Goodwin onstage, and they’re all practicing the steps to the Carolina shag.
I thought we were here to plan the fundraiser, not to juggle and practice our dance moves. I grab my purse and dig in the side pocket for my to-do list. It’s crumpled and torn in one corner. I haven’t updated it in days. All the little boxes are still unchecked.
Dad laughs at something Luca says, clapping him on the back like they’re old friends. They sure are getting along great. I shouldn’t have expected any less. Up there onstage, the similarities are striking. Dad and Luca are both fun and uninhibited, both charming, both the life of the party.
But are they similar in other ways, too? My childhood comes back to me in flashes. The bills that piled up, the schoolwork I abandoned so we could go to Burning Man, Dad’s inability to hold down a job. And then I can’t help remembering Luca losing my dry cleaning. His naps on the floor of the lobby. The fact that it’s eleven in the morning and he’s not anywhere near his post at the door.
The elevator was still broken when I left this morning.
Luca sees me watching and gives me that charming smile, and I do my best to muster one in return. He says something to Dad and Mrs. Goodwin and heads over to me.
“You okay?”
“Sure. Why wouldn’t I be?” My voice sounds hollow in my ears.
“You’re standing in the middle of the gym staring off into space.”
