Page 77 of Wish I Were Here
“How can you say that?” I march past him to push the button for the lobby. “A person’scareeris important. Theirsuccessis important.”
“Sure.” Luca steps on next to me. “But none of that is who she is. That’s just some stuff about her.”
“Stuff Iadmireabout her,” I argue. “I know it’s all brand-new, but I think Melanie and I are alike in a lot of ways.”
The elevator begins dropping smoothly to the lobby. At each floor, a digital number on the button panel counts down, and a bell dings softly. I bet there aren’t any imaginary ghosts breaking Melanie’s elevator every other day.
“Maybe you are alike.” Luca shrugs. “I don’t know her. But I know you, and I’d hate to see you become so… enamored with all that stuff that you end up getting hurt.”
“I’m not enamored. She’s mymother. I think we could have a relationship.”
The elevator settles on the ground floor, and we step into the lobby with the white couches. Absently, I wonder if everything in the building is furnished in white, like fresh snow and new pieces of paper. I remember how Luca was surprised when he first walked into my apartment with its emerald couch and colorful botanical prints. He probably expected my place to look like this lobby. Like Melanie’s condo. And he probably thought there was something wrong with that.
Luca takes my arm and pulls me back against him. “Catherine, look. I don’t mean to discourage you when it comes to your mother.”
“Then whyareyou? Why can’t you just be happy for me?”
“Because I care about you.” His eyes roam over my face. “I care about you a lot. And… I don’t know. Your mom just seems a little… cold. The way she talked about your dad… the way she reacted to meeting you.”
“Cold?”
Does he think my mother is cold because she’s reserved and practical? Because she’s organized and maybe a little particular? I get that her cheese was cut into perfect ninety-degree angles, she probably used a ruler to properly space the books on her shelves, and it likely gives her anxiety when someone doesn’t use a coaster. But doesn’t he see that Melanie is not so different from me? I know I come off as cold, too. That doesn’t mean that I am.
Luca shakes his head, pressing his hands to his temples. “You know what? I’m so sorry.” I stare at his colorful arm, counting the birds in the flock near his elbow. Seven. No, there’s one soaring in from his triceps. That’s eight.
Again, it strikes me that I never thought I’d fall for a guy with tattoos. Or a wide, infectious smile. Or charm that draws a crowd. But somehow over the past week, I’ve developed feelings for him. I go out of my way to pass through the lobby just to see him. My heart gives a little kick when he walks into the room. I’ve opened myself up in ways I never, ever imagined.
Is this how Melanie felt about Dad, all those years ago?Right before she ended up pregnant and almost lost out on Harvard and a career in medicine.
Dr. Gupta’s words have been hovering on the edge of my consciousness since our call in the supply closet. The old me would never have blown off a research paper for days in a row or forgotten to give my boss a call with an update. Maybe I didn’t have any choice about going with Luca into a dark Mafia bar or on a stakeout, but the old me certainly wouldn’t have lingered for a drink afterward. Am I putting my career and future in jeopardy for a man who is all wrong for me? Just like my mother did?
“Catherine?” Luca’s face slides into my line of vision. “Are you okay?” His hand cups my cheek, and his eyes search mine.
I take a deep breath. This has all been a lot to process in a few short days. But it doesn’t mean that Luca and I are wrong for each other. We’re not the same as Dad and Melanie. “I’m fine.”
Luca leans closer. “I’m sorry I said those things about your mother. I’m sure she’s lovely, and I’m looking forward to getting to know her.” He cocks his head. “I think I can win her over.”
And despite myself, I laugh. Because if anyone can win her over, it’s Luca.
“Just like I won you over.” With a hint of a smile still tugging at his lips, Luca slides his hand behind my head, tangling it in the hair at the nape of my neck. And then he leans in, his mouth only inches away. I slide a hand up his chest, grabbing a fistful of his T-shirt and tugging him closer.
“Ahem.”
I pull away, spinning around to find Melanie’s doorman watching us with a look of disapproval. He gives us a sharp shake of his head and hitches his chin at the front door.Get out.Like two teenagers who were caught making out under the bleachers, we laugh and make a break for the door, our shoulders bumping as we stumble out onto the sidewalk.
“For the record,” Luca says, taking my face in both his hands and planting a kiss on my lips. “The doorman inyourbuilding is fine with you making out in the lobby anytime you want.”
Melanie didn’t text me.
And now it’s Sunday afternoon, and I’m sitting in the lobby of the DeGreco, staring at my phone. I’d wandered downstairs hoping to find a distraction from the outline of the research paper I’d sent off to Dr. Gupta earlier today. After our phone call on Friday, I’d spent my entire Saturday and most of Sunday working on it to show him that Iamcommitted to my job.
Maybe I was hoping to find a distraction from my mother’s silence, too.
“Maybe she lost your number,” Mrs. Goodwin suggests. She came by earlier to practice the Carolina shag with Luca, but when she caught a look at my face, she shimmied her way onto the bench next to me. And Luca isn’t here yet anyway.
“I called her when we were exchanging numbers to make sure she entered it correctly.” My shoulders slump. “I watched her add me to her contacts.”
“Maybe she lost her phone,” Mrs. Goodwin counters.
