Page 88 of Wish I Were Here
I spend the morning checking my university email—there’s quite a backlog since I couldn’t access it for a week. And then I find the syllabi that Radhika sent over, so I spend the afternoon planning for my classes. At five forty-five that evening, I pick up my phone and send a text to Melanie.
Heading over to the café. See you at six.
Less than thirty seconds later, my phone beeps with a reply.
Sorry, hung up at work. Can’t make it.
I’m disappointed, but I know I’ll see her at the fundraiser.
And speaking of the fundraiser, I remember that Mrs. Goodwin said they’d be hanging the decorations this evening. Maybe I can make it over there in time to help.
I’m packing up my bag when there’s a knock at the door. Since I left it open, all I have to do is look up to find Dr. Gupta standing there.
“I see you’re finally one of our faculty members, Catherine,” he says dryly.
“I am, sir. And very happy to be here.”
“I read the new outline of our paper last night.” He pauses and then…
He gives me the approving nod. But for some reason, I just can’t get excited about it.
“Excellent work, again,” Dr. Gupta adds. “I think it’s almost ready for you to write it up.” He steps back from thedoorway, turning to head down the hall. “Then we can start talking about the next one.”
Before he can disappear from the doorway, something comes over me, and I blurt out, “Wait!”
He swings back around, eyebrows raised.
And I almost take it back. I almost say,Never mind, and buckle down and write the next paper. Except… I can’t. I can’t be the rule follower or people pleaser that I was a week ago. Something’s changed in me, and I can’t change it back. I don’twantto change it back.
While I do want this job, somehow in the past week, I’ve discovered that success doesn’t only mean getting ahead at work. It’s also having a coworker whom you can laugh with at math jokes. And it’s having the time to join the book club, and plan the community center fundraiser, and to stop to chat with Sal in the stairwell, too.
It’s about the people you surround yourself with and the community you build. Luca tried to tell me that, and I was too wrapped up in my narrow view of the world to listen. But maybe it’s not too late.
I clear my throat. “Thank you for pushing me so hard on this paper.”
Dr. Gupta gives me a nod like,Of course.
“It’s turning out better than I imagined,” I continue. “And I look forward to submitting it toStudies in Applied Mathematicswith you.”
“Of course,” Dr. Gupta says, turning to leave. “You’re welcome.”
“But the thing is…” I raise my voice.
He slowly spins back around.
“My name will have to appear as first author.”
Dr. Gupta raises an eyebrow. “Is that right?”
I give him a shaky nod. “There’s one more thing. We’re going to have to ease up on the deadlines. Ijustgot here.”
His mouth drops open.
Well, that’s it.I’ve definitely done it this time. All that work to get my identity back, and I’m going to end up a clown after all. But still, I don’t take it back. I can’t.
Dr. Gupta stares at me for a moment, almost like he’s calculating something in his head. “All right,” he finally says, backing away from the doorway. I hold my breath. “I look forward to being listed as the second author on this paper and collaborating with you on many in the future. On more reasonable deadlines, of course.” He gives me one more approving nod, eyebrows raised, like this time I’ve really impressed him. “Like I’ve always said. You have a bright future ahead of you.”
On the night of the fundraiser, I wade through the crowd at the community center, checking out the silent auction, the food table, and the stage where Dad and his friends will perform later. The entire neighborhood must be here, spilling out of the gymnasium and down the hall to the lobby where the front desk had been transformed into a bar.
