Page 12 of All the Ways You Save Me
I’m glad I sank into this desk chair before I opened Tyler’s messages because I’m not sure my legs would support me. Sandy Harbor is a popular East Coast vacation destination, and hundreds of thousands of people visit every summer. But it would be a huge coincidence if a guy who looks just like Adam ended up on the beach where I grew up.
Unless it’s not a coincidence. Adam knew how much I loved that island and how it broke my heart when my mother abruptly decided to move our family to Pennsylvania.
I type a reply.
I’ve been to Sandy Harbor. Can you tell me what block you were on?
Tyler’s reply comes back in seconds.
76thstreet.
I stare at the words. I’m familiar with that area, it’s just a couple of blocks from the grocery store in Ocean Crest. The local surfers usually hung out at the same few spots, so if the guy in the video was at 76thStreet late one afternoon, he might be there again. Of course, maybe he’s not a local, maybe he’s on the island for vacation, in which case, he could be long gone in a couple of days.
My heart pounds with sudden urgency, but I force myself to stay seated.What am I doing?What do I care what block that surfer was on or if he’s a local or not? It’s not like I’m going to pick up and go back to my hometown on a mad search for Adam.
I take a shaky breath.Am I?
EIGHT
TEN YEARS AGO
Madeline
“You look so nice,” my mom says when I walk into the kitchen, her voice rising buoyantly as if her cheer might rub off on me.
I shrug, though I’m secretly hoping her words are true. I chose a fitted green tank top and beach-glass earrings because they match my eyes, and then paired them with a simple pair of jeans so I don’t look like I’m trying too hard. Back home on Sandy Harbor, I would have asked my mom if my hair looked okay and to weigh in on what shoes to wear. She’s been a single mom to Josie and me since I was a toddler, and the three of us have always been close. I’ve never felt the need to act like a snarky teenager like some of my friends do around their parents.
Well, I’ve never acted like a snarky teenager until now. I know my mom is hurt by the shrugs, eyerolls, and one-word answers I’ve been giving her for the past few weeks. But I’m hurt that she made us move away from the only home I’ve ever known with no explanation. I’m not willing to go along with her feigned cheer, pretending like everything is normal.
“If this Adam guy didn’t completely fall for you in the parking lot,” my mom continues, “he definitely will today.”
I fight the urge to slide into a chair at the kitchen island so she can help me dissect the moment when Adam offered to give me a tour of Maple Ridge. Was he asking me out or just being friendly? Every day this past week, he met me in the parking lot to walk me to class, and at this point, I’m pretty sure he’s just using the crowded hallways as an excuse to take me by the arm. I’m tempted to ask my mom what she thinks, but instead, I silently pour myself a mug of coffee and pick up the newspaper as if I actually care to read it.
My mom sighs. “Madeline, I know you’re still upset that we moved here. But it sounds like you’ve met some nice people and are settling in well.” She steps closer to me. “I really think you could have a great year here in Maple Ridge if you’re open to it.”
I look up from theWashington Post, taking in the green eyes and reddish hair that she passed down to me. She’s not putting on her fake cheer right now. And I miss having someone to talk to. “The thing is,” I say cautiously, hoping that maybe we can have a real conversation about this for once, “it’s not that we moved here. I mean, not completely. It’s that you won’t tell me why.”
“I did tell you. And I know it’s hard for you to understand.”
All she told me was she had a job opportunity, which might have been enough information when I was five. But I’m seventeen, and she uprooted my whole life. I deserve more than that. “Nurse practitioners are always in demand. If you wanted a better job, couldn’t you have waited a year until I graduated? Or found something closer so we didn’t have to move?”
She turns to fill her mug with coffee, and I can’t help feeling like she’s avoiding my eyes. “There was no guarantee this job would be here in a year.”
“But another one would have.” I fight off a wave of anxiety that’s been plaguing me since my mom first broke the news that we were leaving Sandy Harbor. “Is it the money? Are we broke, or in debt?” I’m sure that being a single mom hasn’t been easy for her, but I never had the sense that money was tight. We moved into a nice, middle-class house in Maple Ridge, but it’s a rental, and the sale of the Sandy Harbor beach house is covering our expenses until the salary from her job starts paying in a couple of weeks. Maybe I’ve been too self-centered to realize that she’s struggling. “I don’t have to go to an expensive college, you know. And Josie didn’t need to go to Berkeley.”
But my mom just shakes her head. “You girls don’t need to worry about college.”
“Then why are we here? If it’s not the money, then it must be something else. Because I can’t believe that you’d uproot my whole life just for a better job.” I cross my arms over my chest to brace myself against the frigid air blowing through the vent. On Sandy Harbor, we could leave the windows open, and the sea breeze would cool the house. But in Pennsylvania, everyone apparently uses air conditioning.
“Sometimes things happen for a reason, and you don’t understand it until later. I really think if you give Maple Ridge a chance, you’re going to like it here,” my mom says. “What time is Adam picking you up?”
When I shiver again, it’s not from the cold. I picture Adam’s smile as I pull into the parking lot every morning, and the way his blue eyes linger on me as I step out of the car. He’s been the silver lining to this whole situation. Is it true that things happen for a reason? Was I meant to come here and meet him? I’ve never been someone to believe in that kind of thing, but I’ve never felt so immediately drawn to someone the way I’m drawn to Adam. “He’s coming at eleven,” I say.
“I hope you have a wonderful time.” My mom reaches out,sliding an arm around my shoulder and pulling me into a hug. And for the first time since we moved to Maple Ridge, I let her.
I peer down the street, nervously bouncing on the balls of my feet. Yesterday as Adam walked me to class, I admitted that I really haven’t been anywhere in town except the grocery store and the high school, even after my mom bought me a used car so I could get around while she’s working. I mostly spent the summer reading in my room and missing the beach. Adam offered to come by today and give me a tour of Maple Ridge, and I gratefully accepted.
Maple Ridge is a mid-sized town about an hour and a half outside of Harrisburg. From the little I’ve seen, it has a mall, a few chain restaurants, and a brewery located in a shopping center. My mom and I live in a neighborhood with houses that come in three cookie-cutter shapes, all wrapped in brick or aluminum siding, with identical patches of grass in the front yards. I definitely agreed to this adventure because I want to spend time with Adam, and not because I feel hopeful that this town is going to impress me, especially when I compare it to ocean swells, grassy dunes, and perfect sunsets over the bay.
