Page 25 of All the Ways You Save Me
I take a deep breath. “Something weird happened.”
“You mean besides that shark painting?”
I can’t help but smile. “Even weirder.” I quickly tell her about the video of the surfer saving the kids. Her eyes widen slightly at the part about how he looked like Adam, but I admit I was expecting more of a reaction.
“Thatisweird,” Josie agrees. “But you only saw it quickly. It could have been anyone, right?”
Her words echo Jason’s, and now the two most dependable people in my life are suggesting that I overreacted by believing the surfer is Adam. But they didn’t see the video. They didn’t see his eyes.
And I haven’t told Josie the rest of it. “Josie, here’s the weirdest part. I reached out to the guy who streamed the video to ask for more information, and you’ll never guess what he said.” I shift the phone to my other hand. “He’s vacationing on Sandy Harbor. He saw the guy who looks like Adam onSandy Harbor Island.”
I watch her shoulders rock back as she takes a sharp intake of breath. She stares back at me through the phone, and I wonder if the image has frozen.
“Josie? Did you hear me? What do you think?”
“I…” She clears her throat and seems to regroup, lifting a shoulder. “Sandy Harbor is a really popular vacation destination. You know that. I mean, I even meet people here in the Bay Area who grew up in New York and Jersey who went there as a kid.”
I know she’s right. Sandy Harboristhe type of place where generations of families from up and down the East Coast return year after year. Some of the seasonal staff even travel from Europe to work here for the summer. From May through August, there are probably hundreds of thousands of tourists who come to the island. How many of them must be tall, dark-haired men with blue eyes?
“A lot of people vacation on Sandy Harbor,” Josie continues. “And one of them happened to look vaguely like Adam.”
“Notvaguely.” He wasn’t justanytall, dark-haired man with blue eyes. I know I didn’t imagine the resemblance.
“Okay, he looked a lot like Adam… in a blurry video. But in order for it to actuallybehim, Adam would’ve had to survive the crash. And you know that’s nearly impossible. How did he get out of the water? And where did he go?”
“I don’t know.” I look down at my hands as my sister identifies the biggest plot hole. If Adam had survived, he would have contacted me.
“What about Jason? What does he think?”
I hesitate, biting my lip.
Understanding slowly dawns on Josie’s face, followed by a wide-eyed look of alarm. “Oh my God, Madeline. You said there aren’t going to be bridesmaid dresses.Did you postpone your wedding?”
I know I have to face the end of my engagement at some point, but the idea of it overwhelms me. I’ll have to call my mother, who loves Jason, and tell my friends and colleagues. Thankfully, we hadn’t booked a venue or sent out invitations yet, so at least I won’t have to call a hundred guests and break the news that they have to cancel their travel plans. Still, if Josie’s face is any indication of what’s to come, everyone will be so shocked. Jason and I were that nice couple. So good together.
Why would I ruin everything?
“I didn’t exactly postpone the wedding.” My stomach churns. When I ran out of Jason’s office yesterday, nothing about how we ended things impliedpostponing. “I’m pretty sure I blew it all up.”
I watch her eyes shift around as if she’s taking in my surroundings. “You’re on Sandy Harbor now, aren’t you? That’s the only explanation for that terrible beach art.”
I nod.
“And Jason didn’t want you to go.”
The back of my throat feels coated in sandpaper, and all I can do is nod again.
“Look.” Josie’s voice gentles. “If you’re not sure how you feel about marrying Jason, it’s okay to take some time. But don’t fool yourself into thinking this is about Adam. It’s wildly unlikely he’s still alive, and I’m worried you’re setting yourself up for another heartbreak.”
“Josie, I know what I saw. The guy in the video looked just like him.”
“I know they never found Adam’s body, which makes it hard to get closure. But chasing this stranger around Sandy Harbor is not going to help. Take the summer to relax, maybe talk to a therapist. But don’t hang around Sandy Harbor thinking you’re going to find answers.”
“I’m only here for two days. What’s the harm?”
“The harm is that it’s not just two days. It’s that nothing good can come from digging up the past. You were finally moving on from Adam’s death, and now you’re mired in it again. And you’re back on Sandy Harbor Island of all places. This tour of heartbreak isn’t going to end the way you want it to.”
I gaze out the sliding glass doors, past the balcony, and out to sea. Maybe she’s right. Aside from Adam, leaving Sandy Harbor Island was the greatest loss of my life, and I never got closure from that either. I never found out why we left this place all those years ago. My mom got remarried and moved to Arizona the year I graduated from college, and the last time I brought up Sandy Harbor, she claimed it was so long ago, she could barely remember. And Josie still just shrugs it off. She grew up here, running in and out of the waves as a kid, hanging out with her friends on the boardwalk, a part of the same community as I was. But she never seemed to care that we left or missed it once it was gone.
