Page 36 of All the Ways You Save Me
“I’m not stalking you.” I smooth my face into the picture of innocence. “I’m here for a drink.”
With impeccable timing, the bartender sets my beer in front of me. “You need anything else?”
“No, thank you. This is perfect.”
She hesitates for a moment, looking from me to the storm raging on Garrett’s face. “What about you?” she asks him, but I get the feeling she’s not inquiring if he wants more refreshment. It’s a protective question. For a moment, I wonder if the two of them are more than friends, and I’m alarmed at the pit that the thought leaves in my stomach.
Garrett shakes his head, and the bartender leaves to serve another customer.
“This is a locals’ bar. And you’re definitely not a local.” Garrett’s harsh tone has me sliding back in my chair. After losing my home on Sandy Harbor, Adam would have known how much that statement would hurt me. Garrett doesn’t seem to care.
I give him my haughtiest look. “For your information, I grew up here.”
His eyebrow raises. “Really?”
“Yes, really.”
“How long has it been?”
“About ten years.”
“Sounds to me like you’re a local somewhere else now.” He cocks his head. “Where is that place again?”
I name Maple Ridge, looking for signs that he already knows where I’m from, or maybe that he’s surprised I still live there. When Adam and I were planning our future, we’d talked about moving to a beach, maybe in the Bay Area near Josie, or somewhere in Florida. The location didn’t matter as long as we were together.
I want to tell him thathe’sthe reason I stayed landlocked in Maple Ridge and didn’t follow my dream of living by the water. His death left me stuck, unable to move on or let go. I want to tell him that when he was swept away in that river, he took my heart with him.
Garrett takes a casual drink from his beer bottle. “Sounds to me like you’re a tourist now. So, enjoy your vacation, and then head back to Maple Ridge.”
The thought of returning home in two short days presses on me. What if it’s not enough time to figure out if Garrett is really Adam? I hurt Jason and ended my engagement so I could come to Sandy Harbor and find out the truth. How can I go back home and move on with my life when all I have to show for it are even more questions and fewer answers? And what would my life in Maple Ridge even look like without Jason in it? I stare down at the drink in my hand as a sliver of sadness pierces me. I started this, and now I need to see it through.
“Maybe I’m not heading back, maybe I’ll stick around for a while.” I blurt it out, not thinking it through, but as the words leave my mouth, so does the weight in my chest.
Garrett narrows his eyes. “What do you meanfora while?”
I give an exaggerated shrug. “I’m thinking of staying for the summer. That would qualify me to have a beer in a locals’ bar, don’t you think?” What am I talking about? I can’t stay here for the next few months. What would I tell my family? And Jason?But my words are out there, and I don’t regret them. I remember the rush of joy that came over me at the ocean breeze on my face and tingle of salt on my skin. Maybe I’m not only here to find Adam. Maybe I’m here to find a piece of myself that I lost a long time ago.
Garrett smooths his face into a neutral expression, a move I’m discovering he’s good at. “Where are you staying?”
I press my lips together because of course I don’t have anywhere to stay. The clerk at the motel was clear that I needed to be out by Monday, and I’m sure all the other hotels are equally booked. The houses on the island have probably been rented since December, not that I could afford them on my teacher’s salary anyway.
On the other side of Garrett, his surfer friend hangs up his call and swivels in his chair to face us. “Hey.” He gives me a nod. “I’m Ian.”
“Madeline.” I eye him now, looking for signs that Garrett mentioned me. But he doesn’t react other than to give me a friendly smile.
“Nice to meet you, Madeline. Do you two know each other?”
“No,” Garrett blurts out at the same time I say, “Yes.”
Garrett glares at me. “We literally just met.”
I tap my finger on my lips. “But you looksofamiliar.”
Ian cocks his head, a bemused expression crossing his face as he takes in Garrett’s flushed cheeks. After a moment, his gaze swings back to me. “Did I see you on the beach earlier, Madeline?”
I know he did, but I’m not going to admit I was sizing him up. “I was at 76thStreet,” I answer noncommittally.
“So was I.” He nods, and something about him is familiar, too. I wonder if maybe we went to high school together, or I saw him around when I lived here.
