Page 70 of All the Ways You Save Me
“I can talk to Ian, too. He wasn’t even planning to rent this place for a while. I think he only offered it because he sensed the tension between us at the bar that night. He could tell I had feelings for you and wanted to give us a little nudge.”
“So, that’s it. Tomorrow, I’m just supposed to leave here, andwe’llnever see each other again?” My voice breaks and I can barely get the words out. I’m shaking with anger, with heartbreak. I search for any excuses to stay. But deep down, I know he’s right.
He stares at me, his eyes dark with sadness. For a moment, I think he’s going to say no. But then he nods. “I’ve thought about it every day for the past ten years of my life. Was there another way we could have been together? But there wasn’t. If I didn’t die in that river, they would have come after you and Jason. They still could, if they find out I’m alive. The boss talked about how he keeps an eye on his employees’ friends and family. I wouldn’t be surprised if he still has people checking in on you, watching you every now and then.”
A shiver runs through me. “You think they’re watching me?Now?”
Garrett’s face looks haunted. “I think it’s very possible that they keep an eye on you and Jason. It’s been a decade, so they probably don’t do it as much as they did in the beginning. But they lost a lot of money. I’m sure it was enough to motivate them to keep watching you for any unusual behavior that might lead them to find it.”
I press a hand to my mouth. Have these guys been following me to work? Tailing my car around town? And all along, I had no idea.
“If you left Maple Ridge and moved here, I bet they’d check up on you. Just in case.”
My heartbeat thunders in my ears.That creepy guy at the bar.Is he somehow involved in this? He was asking about my family, not about Adam, but who knows what information he was fishing for. A wave of terror washes over me. He asked me about Josie. What if he was gathering information about her? What if he’s planning to watch her… to stalk her? Or my mom? What if every minute I stay here, I’m not just putting myself, and Garrett, and Jason in danger, but my family too?
My eyes fly to Garrett’s face. He sacrificedeverything for me. Literallyeverything.And then he spent ten years rebuilding his entire life. He found a home, friends, people to call family. What if those guys find out he’s here and threaten Ian and Chloe too? What about Chloe’s daughter, Ellery? My heart might be begging me not to leave Garrett behind, but I can’t let those voices overpower what I know is right. How could I be so selfish as to put even more people in danger, how could I destroy Garrett’s new life, when everything he’s done was to protect the people he loves?
I can’t.
“You need to go,” Garrett urges. “And you need to forget about me.”
“I will never forget about you,” I say, leaving a period at the end of each word. “Never.” But I know he’s right. Every minute here puts us all in danger, and Garrett most of all.
He leans in closer. “I’m sorry, Madeline. All I’ve done is break your heart over and over.”
My gaze traces his face as I desperately try to commit each line to memory. “All you’ve done is make me happier than I’ve ever been. If having my heart broken is the price for the time I’ve had with you, then I’d choose it every time.”
He reaches for me at the exact moment I fall into him, our lips colliding and hands grasping. He drives a fist into the hair at the nape of my neck, tangling it in his fingers and holding my mouth steady against his. I yank the hem of his T-shirt away from his perfect geometric abs and the rigid planes of his chest. He releases me just long enough to toss it off and do the same to my shirt before we crash back together.
The scent of him surrounds me like the sea air and I gasp for it like I’m drowning. I press him down against the couch cushions, working the zipper of his shorts while he tears at the buttons of mine. They land on the clothes pile and are quickly followed by my bra and panties.
Garrett’s movements slow as he rolls me onto my back andpresses up on straining arms to sweep his gaze over my collarbone, my breasts, and lower to where I’m spread open and burning for him. He doesn’t have to say a word and I know he’s lived this moment a thousand times in his dreams, just as I have. Every flicker and spark and wild blaze of heat is a gift we never expected to experience again, and he follows his gaze with his rugged hands, his mouth, tasting, savoring, memorizing me.
He’s hard against me, and I swing wildly from needing himright nowbecause I’ve waited a lifetime to feel him inside me, to trying to slow down because I know this won’t—it can’t—ever happen again. He finds a condom in a side drawer and perches above me, those aquamarine eyes locked on mine, hot and piercing and brimming with a decade of love. And then he’s moving inside me, rocking faster, and I cling to him like I’m floating out to sea and he’s my lifeline.
When we finally drift back to shore, he settles me in his arms and I close my eyes, pressing my cheek to the steady beat of his heart. “Promise me you’ll move on,” he murmurs into my hair. “Find someone, be happy. That’s all I ever wanted for you.”
My chest cracks open, insides spilling out. I’ve truly been in love twice in my life, once with the sweet boy he was and once with the man he is today. It’s impossible to think that we could ever have a third chance to find each other. But I’m not giving up hope.
FORTY
PRESENT DAY
Madeline
I’m sitting on the couch of my rental house when Josie stumbles in, still half-asleep, the next morning. “Hey, is there coffee?” she mumbles.
I hitch my chin to the kitchen, where a fresh pot is brewing. She pours herself a cup and then comes back into the living room, stopping short in the doorway. Her gaze sweeps over me, concern all over her face.
I’m sure I look terrible. I haven’t slept at all, my hair is sticking up, and my eyes are red and puffy from crying. Last night with Garrett was amazing in those fleeting moments where it was just the two of us and we could forget about the outside world. But saying goodbye to him this morning, knowing I might be walking away forever, was the worst thing I’ve ever had to do.
“Are you okay?” Josie asks.
I shake my head. “I’ve thought a lot about what you said. And you’re right. I need to go home. I can’t stay here all summer. I don’t know why I thought I could.”
“Oh, honey.” Josie sinks down on the couch next to me, setting her mug on the coffee table. “I know you still feel the trauma of Adam’s loss every day, and you were hoping this would heal you. It may always hurt, but maybe this experience will help you finally find closure.”
I thought I was done crying, but my eyes well up again. I’m losing the man I love for the second time in my life. How am I going to go on, knowing Garrett is here and I can never come back?
