Page 37 of Howl For A Kiss
"I'll start from the beginning," Damon said, the decision crystallizing with each word. "Tell you my entire life story. You deserve to know the man who is your mate, and then you can decide what kind of person I am. If you still want to cast me out, I'll accept that."
She won't want you after this,his wolf warned, pacing restlessly.The truth will drive her away for good.
But Damon had carried the weight of deception long enough. Elena deserved better than his carefully constructed lies, regardless of the consequences.
"What I told you about my parents dying when I was young was true," he began, settling more comfortably against the cavern wall. "My grandmother raising me, teaching me everything she knew about healing and shifter genetics—all of that was real."
The fire popped between them, sending sparks dancing toward the cavern ceiling. Elena's blue eyes reflected the flames, unreadable but attentive.
"What I didn't tell you was that my best friend from age eight was Kieran Silvercrest. Alpha Alaric's oldest son." Damon's mouth quirked in a humorless smile. "Because Kieran and I were inseparable, I did everything he did. Kieran learned from his Alpha father to train and fight young, and to follow traditional pack laws without question. I followed suit."
The memories came flooding back—two boys pushing each other to excel, competing in everything from combat drills to academic studies. The weight of expectation that had shaped both their childhoods.
"I was young and naive," Damon continued, his voice taking on a harder edge. "I looked up to Kieran and Alpha Alaricwithout thinking to question right and wrong. It never occurred to me that authority could be fallible."
Elena shifted slightly, wincing as her wounded thigh protested. The sight sent a spike of protective fury through Damon, but he forced himself to continue.
"Kieran and I trained together in the pack enforcers' military program. That's where I learned all my tactical knowledge, the meditative techniques, everything that's served me well for the past fifteen years." He flexed his hands, remembering countless hours of combat training, weapons maintenance, and strategic planning. "I was top of the class alongside Kieran. But since he was the Alpha heir, I was seen as the best of the regular shifters."
He paused for a moment to study Elena. Her eyes remained unreadable, but she leaned forward with attentiveness as if hanging onto every word. "So, when Beta Cross was killed fifteen years ago, Alpha Alaric appointed me as Beta. I was eighteen, the youngest Beta in Silvercrest pack history." Damon's jaw tightened at the memory. "I didn't hesitate to answer the call of duty. Thought it was my true purpose in life."
Fool,he thought bitterly.You thought duty would be enough to fill the emptiness.
"The first year was a whirlwind," he continued. "I threw myself into my duties, desperate to prove myself worthy of the position. I felt I had to earn respect and had to demonstrate my loyalty even though I know now that wasn't necessary."
Elena's expression had grown more thoughtful and less hostile, and she finally spoke up. "You were just a kid taking on enormous responsibility."
"I did as I was ordered. Went above and beyond to enforce pack laws without question." The words tasted bitter now. "And then Tara came along."
Damon's voice roughened with old grief. Even after all these years, speaking her name aloud felt like reopening a wound that had never properly healed.
"An arranged mating. I thought it was expected of me as Beta, another way to prove myself." He stared into the fire, seeing not flames but a young woman's face—kind eyes, gentle smile, dreams she'd never get to fulfill. "She wasn't my fated mate, but she was good and decent. When she got pregnant, everything seemed to be falling into place for me."
"What happened?" Elena's voice had gentled, and when he looked up, he found compassion replacing pain in her expression.
"Territorial dispute with Granite Ridge pack. They attacked my home." The words came out clipped and controlled, but underneath them swirled fifteen years of rage and grief. "They killed Tara and our unborn child while I was away on pack business."
Elena's sharp intake of breath cut through the cavern's stillness.
"After that night, I threw myself into duty and shut off everything else," Damon continued. "Became emotionally numb because it seemed easier and more manageable. But keeping everyone at arm's length got lonely after a while."
He paused, gathering courage for the hardest part of his confession.
"So, I started documenting everything—every order, every abuse, every action I was commanded to take. Initially to pass time, but then I began questioning what I was enforcing as the years passed. The demands became more extreme."
Elena leaned forward further, her tactical mind engaged despite her emotional turmoil. "What kind of demands?"
"Forced arranged matings. Killing humans without question or investigation. Kidnapping shifters for reasons that madeno sense." Damon's hands clenched again. "Things that were unusually cruel, even by traditional pack law standards."
The fire crackled between them, and in its light, Damon saw something in Elena's expression that gave him some relief—real understanding of who he truly was beneath the Beta title.
Damon pushed himself away from the cavern wall and moved closer to where Elena sat by the small fire, the flames casting flickering shadows across her face. The makeshift cloth at his waist felt inadequate, but modesty seemed less important than closing the distance between them—both physical and emotional.
"Things changed dramatically when Alpha Alaric disappeared four months ago," he said, settling beside her but maintaining enough space to respect her boundaries. The cave floor was cold against his bare skin, but Elena's presence generated its own warmth. "Kieran became acting Alpha, and everything I thought I knew about pack leadership shifted overnight."
Elena's eyes reflected the firelight as she studied his face. "How so?"
"Kieran took Maya as his Luna—a hybrid." Damon's voice carried a mixture of pride and concern. "First hybrid to publicly mate a pack leader in three centuries. They've been working relentlessly to reform Silvercrest's pack laws, but it's an uphill battle."
