Page 57 of Lost
The stories all fall through my mind, and I force away some of the more private ones that I shouldn’t know. I can’t alwayscontrol what someone tells me under duress, and Louisa told me all about how Nova tried to kill herself before she left.
That’s the reason I let her bleed out and concentrated on her husband. I needed a break from her canary singing asshole.
Taking a shuddering breath, I shake my head.
“You don’t know what she’s been through,” I say. “Infantilizing her isn’t fair. Nova isn’t a child, she works with some of the most dangerous crime families in the area, and she does so with grace. Try again. Do you want her to reject you? I’ll have Malcolm come in here so I can get her number and she can do it now. Why wait, right?”
Caleb stares at me for a long time before he rubs his face hard. The door opens behind me, and I swing around with my bat because I fucking locked that door.
“I saw you were here through the cameras,” Lars says, pointing at one above the bar. I merely tilt my head to the side since I wasn’t really worried about the cameras. “What’s with the bat?”
“You made Nova cry,” I say. That should be more than enough for an afternoon chat with a bat as an accessory.
“Fuck me,” he sighs. “Everything makes her cry, Hollis. I don’t know how to stop being a jerk. She makes me fucking insane. The way she puts herself into these situations in an effort not to bother other people?—”
“It’s called a trauma response,” I say, waiting for him to understand. Lars isn’t dense, despite what people think. “The smaller she makes herself, the less likely she’s noticed or hurt.”
“Nova can’t possibly think that we’d physically hurt…” Lars’ gray eyes close for a moment as he shakes himself. His glasses are skewed on his nose, but he hasn’t noticed. “Let’s rewind that statement before you kill me, yeah? Speaking to your sister is like walking through a minefield after forgetting where I’veburied all the explosives. It’s dangerous, exciting, and always ends in disaster.”
“And?” I ask. “Have you gotten so used to your boring life that you can’t handle Nova?”
“My life has been anything but boring,” he sighs. “She’s beautiful, which is odd to say when she looks so much like you.”
“Did you feel like you were fucking me?” I ask, my lips twisting into an ugly smile. “Is that what this is about?”
“You’re fucking impossible,” he grunts. “No, it’s not. Our interactions have mostly revolved around hunting her down while she was hiding from us or realizing that you’d been kidnapped, Hollis. Then she goes into heat and while I’m attracted to her, I was frozen in worry. Not to mention that Tyde pretty much was running the show during her heat.”
“You want his dick. Is that what this is about?” I ask. “Is there some fucked up bromance happening? If there is, figure it out. Nova has lived next door to four bisexual men and never once blinked. She doesn’t care if you’re attracted to the awkward doctor. For all I care, court them both! Just don’t be a dick loop about it.”
“Is that like a fruit loop?” Caleb asks, looking faintly horrified.
“Ya got it in one,” I reply, snorting in derision. “Coming into work and leaving her alone was a terrible decision. Hormones are messy after a heat spent with alphas. I felt like I couldn’t stop crying and all I wanted to do was cuddle. You could have used this to help establish a connection, but you fucked it up.”
Caleb rubs his face, all the hair he’d usually have from a few days of not shaving now gone. He had time to shower, shave, and come here. Dammit, I’m getting mad again.
“Don’t work yourself up,” he begs. “Lars did you at least bring her something to eat? All I have is alcohol and I’m pretty sure she was higher than a kite when she walked in.”
“She burns it off quickly,” Lars mutters, lifting a pastry box that he was hiding behind himself. “I have your favorites, Hollis. Caleb and I are spinning our wheels here. There may have been extenuating circumstances that have made us act badly, but now we’re stuck in this rut. I don’t know what she likes or how to make this up to her.”
“I don’t know anything about her,” I say honestly. “And you know what? I still managed not to make her feel small and unwanted, Lars. Try there. Act like you like her instead of seeing her as a possession or nuisance. You. Don’t. Own. Her.”
“I know,” Lars whispers, watching as I take the box of pastries from him. “Every time I say something I shouldn’t, I think about how you’re going to knot castrate me.”
“It’s like verbal diarrhea,” Caleb adds seriously.
“Take a Pepto and get over it,” I snap. “Just because someone kidnaps you doesn’t mean they care about you. Nova was widely mistreated. Don’t make her feel unwanted now too. I want her to stay in Minneapolis. Fix this.”
Turning, I pick up my coat and push my way out the door, ignoring their curses as the cold wind blows around me. Malcolm gets out of the vehicle to meet me, wrapping my coat around me as he ushers me to the backseat.
“Break anything important?” he asks.
There are cracks in my friendships where they’ve never before, and I shrug as I get lost in my thoughts. I’ve always chosen Nova over everyone else.
I’m not going to stop now. Not even for the Finnegan brothers.
Chapter Twelve
CALEB
