Page 11 of The Way Home
“Aw, you're ready. Pity.”
I rolled my eyes and pushed past him, “Asshole.”
He simply laughed and followed me to the living room. His rich voice floated up from behind me, and I returned to my list of chemical formulas. “Do you need a quick snack or anything before we go?”
“Go? Where are we going?” I turned around to face him, not realizing just how close he was, making me suck in a sharp breath. Dammit, I really needed to get over this thing. It shouldn't be this hard to be so close to him.
Jeremy smirked again. “We're going for a run.”
Shaking my head, I took a step back. “No, sorry, not happening. I don't run. I decided my running days were over as soon as I no longer had to be in PE. I'm only running if my life is in danger.”
“That's fine. We'll do the suburban mom power walk then.”
I crinkled my nose. “Do we have to?”
“Yup. Gotta get our heart rates up. It's the best way to release those feel-good chemicals.Youlike chemicals. You know what I mean.”
I sighed heavily. I did, in fact, know what he meant. In truth, exercising was a great idea, because I was in the funkiest of funks, and I knew it would help. Didn't mean I had to like it, but being out of the cabin and in the fresh air might do me some good, too. “All right. I'm fine for now. We can eat when we get back.”
“Perfect.” Jeremy smiled big and wide, making my ridiculous heart flutter. He grabbed a steel water bottle from the kitchen and led me outside. My eyes slid to his exposed lower back beneath the crop top. On the porch, I drew in a deep breath, inhaling the crisp morning air as I tried to focus on the atmosphere around me and not the man in front of me. There really was nothing like it in the city.
Jeremy looked over his shoulder at me. “Come on, Ri.”
Before I knew it, we were walking at a brisk pace down the worn path that wound through the woods and would eventually reach the lake's edge. It was a path I’d taken countless times growing up. First, we had taken it together when we'd been dating, and then it was a walk I'd done when I'd needed to get out of the house and clear my head. Which Jeremy somehow knew was exactly what I needed now.
We were quiet for the first half-mile with only theshooshof our shoes on the dirt and the trees rustling around us. Jeremy kept a quick pace just shy of a jog, and I was grateful for it,because it helped me concentrate on the movement and keeping up.
He was the one to break the silence between us. “How's Oregon been treating you?”
I sucked on my teeth, not sure how to answer. I wasn't really wanting to confess that my life was a flaming pile of shit at the moment. “It's fine.”
I could feel his gaze shoot to my face, but I looked straight ahead, not wanting to make eye contact. “Fine? That's all I get? Really?”
“I like Oregon as a place. It reminds me a little of here. As much as I loved California, I missed the green. So, it has that.”
“Green? I ask you how it's going, and you tell me it's green. Wow, Ri, I feel like I know so much about you now.” Jeremy gave a forced laugh, making me feel bad for not being more forthcoming. It wasn’t that easy with him. He used to be the one I could tell everything to, and I missed the hell out of it.
“I don’t know, man. It's not what I thought it would be.”
Jeremy slowed down and looked me over. This time I let my eyes meet his, and the look of concern I saw there made me power ahead, eager to get away. I heard his feet crunching as he caught up to me. He grabbed my arm, keeping me from fleeing.
“I get it, Riley.”
An incredulous laugh popped out of me “You? Yeah, right, I doubt that.”
A flash of hurt crossed his face. “Yes, Riley,me.” He opened his mouth as if he was going to say something else, but instead he turned away from me and continued down the path.
AITA? Yes, in fact, it seems Iamthe asshole. I picked up my pace to meet up with him. “Wait, Jem, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that.”
He turned around quickly and pointed at me. “You don't know anything about what my life has been like. If you didn't run awayevery time I tried to talk to you, maybe you would. So you don't get to stand there and think you know me.”
“I…” My head fell. I never took the time to check in with him. When my mom would try to update me on Jeremy, I would always change the subject. It hurt too much to think about him happily living his life without me in it, all while knowing I had no right to claim anything from him. “You're right. I'm sorry. Shit, I suck.”
Jeremy placed a finger under my chin, tilting my head back up. “You don’t suck, Riley. I don't want to hear you say that. You might not be the best at listening, butyoudon't suck. Unless… it's consensual, and in that case, you are pretty sucktastic.” He winked again. That freaking wink. It was as disarming as he knew it would be. The man could flirt his way out of any situation. But in that moment, standing in the shadows of the trees that surrounded us, I was hit with a moment of clarity. It was a defense mechanism. The flirting. Maybe not all the time, because he was definitely a flirt, but it was what he fell back on when things got real.
I drew a deep breath and tried to draw up strength. “You don't have to do that, Jem.”
His stance shifted, and I could see I'd caught him off guard. Was it the nickname? It was funny how naturally it came out and how good it felt to say.
