Page 22 of The Way Home
“They usually do this time of year, right? I remember how much I loved them when we first moved. We rarely got storms like this in California. The novelty wore off when I realized they happened all the time here, and well…”
“Wet feet?” I supplied with a grin, grateful for the distraction.
“Exactly.” Riley shrugged.
A flash of light pierced through the curtain followed by a boom a moment later. A boom that made me gasp, and I had to turn away from Riley so he wouldn't see me struggling.
“Hey, you have a big day tomorrow. I'll finish up here.” A hand squeezed my shoulder. I wanted to both pull away to hide how tense I felt and lean into him to draw comfort from him. Leaving was probably a smart move. I didn't want to have to brave it out or worry him if I wasn't able to.
“Yeah, thanks. I think I'll take you up on that.” I handed him the towel I was using to dry the dishes he washed.
“If you need anything, let me know, okay?” Sincerity and worry mixed together in Riley's offer.
“Thanks. Goodnight, Ri.”
“Goodnight.”
Safely behind my bedroom door, I stripped out of my shirt and pants, feeling too constricted with the weight of the air clinging to me. I grabbed the water bottle off the bedside table and pulled a long slurp of water. I was fine. This was fine. It wasn't anything I hadn't experienced and survived before.
I hadn't felt it this badly in a long time, though. Being back home probably didn't help. Or perhaps it was because of rewatching the video and seeing myself lying on the field. Of course, there was also the added stress of my interview and this whole situation with Riley. In other words, my defenses were down, and I was fucked.
I sat on the edge of my bed, hunched over because of the top bunk, and focused on breathing. In. Out. In. Out. A crack of lightning made my entire body tense and a bead of sweat dripped from my forehead. My breath sucked in and got stuck. Thirty seconds of panic until it finally expelled, and I could draw another.
I hit my fist against the mattress. “Fuck! I don't need this tonight.”
I grabbed my earbuds and laid back on the bed. Turning on a playlist, I set the volume as loud as I could tolerate. There was no way I could sleep with Chappell Roan blasting in my ears, but I hoped it would at least distract me enough to chill the fuck out.
I was humming along when I saw the light flash, and my chest tightened. It had taken a few refrains to start breathing normally again, though my heart rate was still attempting to settle. Maybe I'd be better off watching something instead. Just as I stopped the music and pulled out my earbuds, my bedroom door opened. I froze as Riley came in and knelt at the side of my bed.
“Are you okay?” He asked softly.
I wanted to tell him everything was fine, but I didn't have the energy to pretend it was. Besides, if I was pushing him not to hide or run away, that meant I needed to do the same.
With a shake of my head, I said, “Well, not super great, no.”
“Is it the storm?”
“Yeah.” Hoping not to sound too pathetic, I added quickly. “It's not usually like this.”
Riley reached out and took my earbuds from me, placing them on the bedside table, before returning his gaze to mine. There was no judgment on his face, no look of pity. Concern, yes, but it didn't feel condescending.
He stared at me for a minute as if trying to decide what to do, when another crash sounded, and I found myself grabbing his arm without meaning to. I winced and slowly drew my hand back. “Sorry.”
“Move over.”
Riley stood and took his glasses off, setting them next to my earbuds. The action and his words weren't clicking while I was still tense and bracing myself from the thunder. “What?”
“Move over, Jeremy.” He ducked under the bunk bed and placed his knee on the edge of my bed. A whole torrent of thoughts rushed through my head and down my body as I thought of his long, lean form in my bed. I scooted as close to the wall as I could, leaving the small amount of space that a twin bed allowed.
Riley threw the covers back and climbed in beside me. Suddenly my breath was gone for a completely different reason. He was here. Closer than he'd been in a long time. I stared at him, certain my jaw hung open, but he deliberately kept his attention focused on the bed above us.
“What are you doing?” I whispered, afraid that if I spoke louder, it would somehow make him rethink this and flee. Him leaving was the last thing I wanted.
“I'm staying with you. Just until the storm passes.” Riley's entire body was rigid, as if he were turning to stone simply by being near me. When the next flash of light happened, I barely flinched, too focused on the man lying beside me, his body touching mine. Or it would be if the blanket wasn't a barrier between us. I was on top, he was underneath, but it was still closer than I thought I would be able to have him.
“You don't have to,” I forced the words out, trying to offer him an out.
Riley slid a quick glance my way before concentrating on the top bunk. “I want to, Jem. Just try to rest. You have a big day tomorrow.”
