Page 41 of The Way Home
“Now that we’re older, wiser, and hotter?” Jeremy teased. I gave him the eye roll he was expecting. “Wherever we want.”
To be able to forge our own path… the idea sounded pretty nice. But what if what we wanted took us down two different paths? Where did this stop? Did we stay side-by-side until we hit the fork in the road and split off into separate lives? The idea of having to watch him live life from the sidelines again was nearly unbearable. “Where… where doyouwant it to go?”
Jeremy scooted his chair around the side of the table until his knees rested against mine. He took both of my hands and looked me right in the eye. “Since we clearly were shit at the whole communication thing the last time, I'm just going to lay all my cards on the table."
I breathed in deep, bracing myself for whatever might come. “Okay.”
His rich brown eyes pierced into me as the setting sun shone through the window, casting a perfect glow on his golden skin, making him look even more enchanting than ever. How long did I avoid looking directly at him? Now, here he was before me, and I got to take him all in.
“I’ve never been one for relationships. Yeah, I like sex, I like the feeling of closeness that comes with intimacy, but I haven’t really allowed myself to connect on a deeper level with anyone. The truth is, I’ve been hung up on an ex for a really long time, and no matter who I slept with or how much fun we had, it was temporary because it was never the right person.”
“Oh.” I couldn’t help the disappointment in my voice. Of course, in all this time, he would have had a relationship that left an impact. I shouldn’t be surprised. It had been over a decade, and we had been kids. I tried to pull my hands away, but he held them in place.
“See… I met this guy. He was tall and lanky and had these glasses that would fall down his nose and every time he pushed them back up, it made me giddy. And then he choked on an orange soda, and I was a goner right there.”
My brows pinched, and I tilted my head as it sunk in that he was talking about me. “Wait. What? Why?”
Jeremy moved to the edge of his chair, one leg between mine, and leaned in close to cup my cheek. “I told you… I happen to like nerds.”
“I was a nervous mess.”
Jeremy shook his head and smiled. “You were charming without meaning to be, which I loved. And I just felt good being around you. As I got to know you, I fell in love. Maybe it was young puppy love, but I felt it then, and I still feel it now, Ri. Being near you makes me happy and feel whole again, like thepart I’ve been missing is stitching itself back together. Do I want to have sex again? Yes, absolutely, one-hundred percent, fully on board with that.”
I had to chuckle at his enthusiastic point.
“I want more than just something physical, though. I’ve had that, and it was never enough. With you, I want it all. I want the quiet moments of simply being together. I want the dinners out, and the science exhibits. I want to be withyou.”
My heart felt like it was about to burst. This whole thing felt too good to be true. “You mean it?”
“I really do. I’d almost given up hope on us, but then you were here, in the shower no less, and hope ignited again.”
His words overwhelmed me and choked me with emotion. I threw myself forward, wrapping my arms around him. Jeremy held me tight, just held me. Now more than ever, I knew I was exactly where I needed to be. In his arms. If there was ever a person in my life to fight for, it would be him. I just didn't know if I was strong enough to do it on my own. Jeremy was the strong one.
I sat back, lifting my glasses to wipe my eyes, and choked out, “I want you, too, Jem. I’vealwayswanted you. Always loved you. I tried to forget you, to leave you behind and move on, but I couldn’t. You took up so much space in my heart that I didn’t have room to give to anyone else. Idesperatelywant this to be real, but… it scares me, too.”
Jeremy reached up, brushed his thumb along my cheek, and gave me a look of understanding. “I know. So let’s talk it out. What about it scares you the most?”
I blew out a deep breath. Talking it out meant sharing my fears and not keeping them to myself, or having to carry them on my own. I placed my hand on his where it rested on my cheek and leaned into it.
“Our parents, first of all. I don’t want to hurt them or cause any problems for our family.” I winced at the idea.Ourfamily.
Jeremy popped his lips as he thought of what to say. “Here’s how I see it. I think we both got pretty lucky in the parent department. There’s a reason they are so perfect together. From what I know of Jackie, she wants you to be happy more than anything. And my dad, well, he’s dying for me to bring home someone more than once. Lucky for me, I know he already likes you, so he’ll be happy to see a friendly face.”
I pulled a face, and he snickered. “Okay, it might be a little weird at first, but I really don’t think they are going to care. I think they’ll be happy for us.”
Javi and my mom were accepting people. Deep down I knew what he was saying was probably true, but I still couldn’t fathom how to start that conversation.
Jeremy’s hand landed on my leg. “Okay. Parents we can handle. What else you got?”
“People?” I shrugged.
He snorted. “People. What people?”
“I don’t know, friends?”
“Fuck ’em. If our friends can’t be happy for us, then it seems like a good time to make some new ones. As for anyone else, I’m not going to let their opinions infect my life. They're not the ones living it.”
I shook my head in awe. “How do you do that?”
