Page 110 of A Light in the Darkness
“Pregnant?”
“Apparently. When you were in surgery, they mentioned there was a shortage of blood. Kent wanted to donate, but he’d lost too much for that, and I wanted to do something to take my mind off of the situation, so I agreed to donate. A little while later, the phlebotomist came by and told me that they did their routine testing, and I had a high level of HCG? I didn’t feel pregnant, I still don’t, other than I’m so fucking tired. I thought maybe she got the sample confused, so I took a test and… I mean, it was faint, cause it’s so early, but it was positive.”
She lets go of a long breath, having rushed all of that off her tongue like she was running out of time to use her voice.
“You—”
I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but I can’t get a cohesive thought to stick in my head, much less move to my mouth.
“I didn’t sleep with anyone, Remy.”
I hate that she even feels the need to give me that disclaimer. Of course, she didn’t sleep with anybody. She wouldn’t do that, just as I wouldn’t. We may not have been together the last few months, but we were still loyal to each other. But I haven’t questioned her about everything that happened in Evan Ludlow’s basement. I wanted her to tell me what she wanted to, when she wanted to, but this—
“Ludlow?”
“No,” she shakes her head fast. “God, no. He was a fucking sadist, but he never made it that far.”
I try not to let her see the relief I feel at that. “But when?”
“The tub.” She laughs. “It was probably the most unsexy consummation ever.”
“Fuck.” I whisper, replaying that memory in my head. I disagree with it not being a sexy consummation. Maybe it wasn’t our most passionate moment, but I needed it… we needed it.
“I’m sorry.” She rushes, shaking her head. “I couldn’t bring myself to go back on birth control after Jovich poisoned me, and then I was celibate for months. That night, I didn’t even think about it because I—”
I shake my head and reach out to pinch her lips together, cutting off her rambling. I hear the affronted gasp as she stares at me, and then I let go, kissing her lips before she can say anything more.
Claire hesitates, at first. I feel her halting breath on my mouth, and I wonder what she’s thinking. I wish I could turn her brain off for her, stop her thoughts from their furious spiral.
When I let my lips fall from hers, I don’t pull away, tipping her chin in my hand and using that to hold her still.
“First of all, don’t apologize to me for the best fucking news I’ve heard since you told me you loved me in the back of my plane.”
Something between a laugh and a sob gets caught in her chest. “The best news?”
“Are you kidding me?” I laugh, throwing my head back against the seat and closing my eyes.
I wanted a family… I always did. When the future I dreamed of with Monica was stolen from me, I thought it would never be in the cards. Barely even a few months later, Genevieve told me she was carrying our child… that she would be my family. And though I knew better than to hope for something good to come of it, I let myself be lulled into complacency. When she took my son fromme, I thought there could be no greater pain. But then there was… the pain of thinking I lost the one person I knew I loved.
I wanted a family. I thought it would look different, and I thought it would be with a different woman, but this was always what I was meant to have. She’s my reward for all the suffering of my past… her, and our baby. But a terrifying thought strikes me.
“Is everything okay with it? I mean, with Jovich having poisoned your birth control, it didn’t… hurt anything?”
“I don’t think so.” Claire purses her lips thoughtfully. “Other than almost killing me, of course.”
“We should set up an appointment right away, just to make sure everything is okay.” Claire still looks hesitant to believe that I really want this. “Fuck if I could kill that bastard all over again, I would.”
Claire sighs. “I mean, he played Russian Roulette with my birth control. Was that his contingency plan, and handing me over to Davos was a crime of opportunity?”
I’m not sure how to answer that. Dimitri filled me in, of course, the minute he had the results from the lab. I’ve known for months that my former right-hand man wanted to poison her, but I wasn’t sure why until the night Addison confessed to her sinister role in Lauren’s murder… and the torture that preceded it.
“I still don’t understand why he hated me so much.” Claire frowns, as if that’s a question that’s really been plaguing her for the last half year.
I consider not saying anything, pretending I am just as clueless as I was back when I trusted him. But I’ve already resolved to give her anything and everything she wants for the rest of her life. “Do you really want to know?”
Her surprise is obvious as her eyes flit over my face, but she doesn’t really hesitate. “Yes.”
“I suspect that he was scared of you… that you might be his daughter.”
