Page 24 of A Light in the Darkness
I do my best to recount the details as Elaine did, and when I mention the pregnancy test, I think Victor might just pass out. It’s a good thing he’s sitting, because he looks as though he’s stopped breathing for a while.
“There was something she wanted to tell me.” He says after a while of silence. “She told me that when I first saw her, but she never got a chance. I was only home for the burial, the service. We had one night together because of how it all worked out, and I forgot to even ask her what was on her mind. When I remembered, I sent her a letter, but I never got a response. None of my letters ever got a response.”
I stay quiet while I let him reflect on that memory, but I can’t give him forever. The flight may be a long one, but we don’t have time to get lost down memory lane. “Well, she likely wanted to tell you she was pregnant. Elaine didn’t see the results of the test. She left that night, and she never saw Lauren again.”
Victor blinks, thinking through whatever must have come after that. “She just disappeared. Ally said it was the strangest thing, that she just… was gone when she woke up.”
He’s not looking at the menu on his lap, having forgotten about it in between all of the information I’ve hit him with, but I slip it open and point to a word on the a la carte menu. “Pregnant.”
He only blinks at me, no dots connecting. “I don’t get it.”
“You won’t appreciate the insinuation, but Elaine thinks that your father somehow knew the people that run these kinds of programs. She thinks that maybe your father handed her over to someone.”
“Handed her over?” Victor laughs. “My father? You can’t be serious.”
“Maybe that’s not what happened. We don’t know because Claire is an orphan. She never even knew her mother. She grew up in foster care until she emancipated herself and went to college, which is where she met my sister.”
“An orphan,” Victor says the word sadly, testing it on his tongue. “Lauren was an orphan. Her parents died when she was a kid, and after her aunt passed, she ended up in a state facility.” He shakes his head. “History has a really weird way of repeating itself.”
“Yes,” I agree, “it does.”
“My wife, Addison… she was Lauren’s guardian ad litem. I had pretty much just re-enlisted when my mother passed. I had two years on my service, and during that time, my sister and Addison did all the work of trying to find her, but they never figured it out. I assumed she started another life somewhere… but Claire is, what, twenty-one?”
I nod my confirmation, and Victor sighs. “And she is absolutely Lauren’s daughter. I’d bet my life on that.”
“She may be your daughter, too.” I say, hoping that doesn’t scare him into shutting down. We’ve been making progress since I brought up Lauren. I don’t want to lose it now.
“No,” Victor reaches for his phone, tapping around on it a minute. “See, when I first saw her, I just couldn’t shake the feeling that she was Lauren’s incarnation. It was like looking at a ghost, except I never got to see Lauren at that age. And it was irrational, but I had to see if she was mine. I don’t know why, but there was just a voice in my head screaming that she was. That’s stupid, I know, cause after Lauren left me, she could have been with any number of men, but I just felt this need to check. I… stole her toothbrush and some of the hair out of her brush while you were downstairs entertaining guests at the wake.”
His face warms with what I assume is embarrassment or shame, and he glances up from his phone to see how harshly I’m judging him.
“And when you took her to the airport, I got onto the same flight she did. I spent the whole flight with her, looking for any similarities to the woman I loved, any similarities to me. I even told her about Lauren, about my high school sweetheart, but I never told her I suspected she was her daughter. I never told her I thought she could be mine.”
He turns his phone to face me, showing me a photo. “I had her DNA tested against mine on nothing other than a weird feeling, but the results were negative.” He shakes his head again as I take the phone and read over the results.
When I look at him, he actually looks sad. “Claire is definitely Lauren’s daughter, but she isn’t mine.”
Chapter sixteen
Claire
I discovered on the flight home from Costa Rica, when the Senator trapped me into my seat and told me his life story, that flying isn’t always bad. It helps to have someone to distract you, even if that someone is a man nearly twice your age with an almost creepy interest in you. Maybe I had just been so worried that he was my buyer, come to stake his claim, that I hadn’t been able to focus on my nerves about the plane.
Unfortunately, Moose isn’t a good distraction. I mean, he would be if I just needed something to look at, because I can definitely get lost in dirty thoughts about him. But I don’t want him to catch me looking at him, for one thing. And for another, I need to occupy my brain in some way so that I don’t think about the fact that we’re flying in what feels like a giant metal cage, trusting technology and mankind to deliver us to the other side of the country.
Rhea wanted to sit with me, and we had at first. But before takeoff, Moose stalked across the aisle and convinced her that they can’t do their job from behind us. Rhea was apologetic, but it made sense, and it wasn’t really a choice. I don’t doubt that he’d have dragged me out of my seat if she didn’t go willingly.
“You get the window,” he said, tipping his head to make me move over so he could take my spot.
The business class seats Rhea had booked for us were just two wide, meaning that once I complied, I was trapped in my seat at the mercy of Moose, who crossed his arms over his chest, sank in his seat a little, and then just stared at the screen before him. I tried to read, but after my third time starting the same page, I gave upon that. I did a generally good job of not showing my fear, keeping it in until we hit turbulence.
I make to grab hold of the armrest so fast, I don’t realize Moose had put his hand there… until I feel the warmth of his forearm, which I’m squeezing with a death grip. His eyes move from my hand on him to my face, demanding answers which I suppose my expression must do for him. “Scared, princess?” He chuckles.
“I’m not fond of flying.” I admit, focusing on breathing through my nose. It was only a little jolt, but it pulled my stomach up to the back of my throat, and now I’m feeling like I’m upside down and my lunch may come spilling out.
“That’s a dumb fear.” Moose snorts, ripping his arm out from under my touch. My cheeks burn with his disregard as I turn to look out the window, lifting the shade little by little so that I can acclimate to the view. It’s weird but looking out helps. If I glance out the window and we’re still among the clouds, at least it means we aren’t hurtling toward the ground, which is how my body still feels.
The clouds sprawl out below us, white cotton blankets that cover an otherwise bright blue sky. The sunlight illuminates parts of them, making them look silvery and light.
