Page 58 of A Light in the Darkness
“I was a good surgeon. Then Claire fucking stabbed me through the hand…” he lifts his palm, showing the slight slope of his fingers. I hadn’t noticed, but they tremble a little, as if he can’t splay his hand open all the way. “I’d have been okay with a good surgeon, but it was days before I got medical help. By that time, I had nerve damage I can’t reverse. I thought maybe that meant my career was over, but you know what my dad did? He made me get back on the horse.”
“Violet was my first patient when I got back. She was already prepped, I didn’t know anything about her other than the surgery I was to perform. I never even looked at her face the whole time… didn’t need to, to take out her uterus.”
I feel Kent’s eyes slide to me, assessing my reaction. But I already know that sterilization is forced upon some of their captives.It keeps them from getting distracted, my father had explained once.If they’re not being bred, they don’t need it anyway.
“So, she was special to him.”
“Was.” Wes nods. “He loved those strong genes they got from their mother. He wanted to breed Violet—I bet he would have done the same with Claire if he’d actually gotten his hands on her, regardless of how much money it cost him. Only problem is, Violet never got knocked up. His other whores did, though. Oh yeah, we have lots of little fuckers running around who share our DNA.” He adds the latter when my jaw tightens. “You think your father only letminefuck our mom? No, they both fucked anyone and everyone he wanted. And who cares about the bastards born from it? I mean, it’s literally called the Brotherhood.” He laughs. “But Violet didn’t give him the one thing he couldn’t force her to give, so he punished her. Turned her over to me, told me to remove all the shit she didn’t need, and then to congratulate me on a successful first surgery back, he gave her to me.”
Wes’ eyes turn to the woman next to him, who seems to be coming out of the sleep she’s been in. “She almost died on my table… not by choice, mind you. She just wasn’t in good enough shape to handle that kind of procedure. But she’s a fighter.”
That may be another thing that just runs in their DNA. I lean back in my seat, dragging a hand over my face. “I can’t keep doing this.”
The admission is more for myself than Wes, or maybe it’s for the universe. I repeat those words when he looks at me through thinned eyelids, suspicion coloring his gaze. It’s a revelation that I loathe to admit, but even just saying it, I feel like I can breathe again.
“I can’t keep doing this.” I say it louder this time, turning to Wes. “Are you sure I’m not a villain,brother?” I taunt. “Because I choose her.”
Wes only lifts an eyebrow, letting me continue to work through the thoughts unraveling in real time. “I never thought I’d sacrifice everything else for one person, but I’d let it all burn for her. I’ve seen the people that need me, but I can’t be there for them if itmeans depriving myself of the reason for my existence. I played their game for years, and it didn’t get me anywhere! I pushed people away—I pushedheraway—because no one will ever be safe with me. And yet, I’m willing to take that chance because I can go all in to protect her.”
The smirk of Wes’ lips tells me he gets it. “Congratu-fucking-lations, brother. You’ve finally realized what you never seemed to understand before. What’s better? To love and lose, or to never love at all?”
“What?” My attention snaps to him, the confusion pulling me from the moment. “It’s better to have loved and lost because you can gut the bastards that take everything from you.”
He leans back, the smirk deepening with his satisfaction. “Maybe you don’t make a shitty bad guy after all. Bad guys can have their happy endings too, you know.”
I can. I feel it in my bones, taste it on my tongue. Maybe I’m high on the need for her, maybe I’m delirious from relief, maybe I’ve been driven to madness by all that I’ve seen. Whatever the reason, I can tell that it’s different now.
I’d thought I was going to have a happily ever after once, but I wasn’t willing to pay for it. It’s why I severed every connection I had to Monica, pushed away Genevieve even though she only tried to tolerate me, why I drove Claire out of my life even though I didn’t want to part from her.
I can tell Kent is biting his tongue, aghast at what I’m saying… that I’d turn my back on him, on everyone, for her. But if he doesn’t understand that he’s either a fool or he’s never been in love the way he claims he has.
“There’s still storehouses,” he reminds me. “Holding facilities, hostages and slaves that need us. We aren’t done.”
“I am.” I shrug, realizing how true it is as I say the words.
“You’re just going to abandon them?” Kent accuses. “After all that we did? You know that they’ve been asking about you. Everyonewants to meet the man that saved them, and you’re just going to run off and live your life like none of them ever happened?”
“Is this about them or you?” I slide my gaze to his, watching as his jaw grinds together.
“Fuck you!”
“Oh,” Wes straightens, leaning forward, and Violet blinks awake slowly to take in the exchange. “Is it my turn to play the therapist? I’m sensing another hero complex. Need me to break it for you?”
“If you turn your back on them, you’re every bit as fucked up as the rest of them.” Kent warns.
I shrug and lean back, relaxing with a newfound sense of peace. I’m going to get my girl, and I’m going to walk away from all of it. We can start over, in Oregon, in Costa Rica, in fucking Greece, if she wants. It doesn’t matter. All that matters is that I will have her.
“It’s fine.” I tell him as Kent pushes to stand and strides angrily past me. “If you want it so bad, I’ll give you everything. The keys to the kingdom, the kingdom itself. I don’t fucking want it.”
He doesn’t hear me as a door slams, and a moment later, I hear the wood groaning and splitting under his assault as he strikes it with punch after punch and an odd kick here and there.
It takes a few minutes, but once he’s done with his temper tantrum, Violet clears her throat. She’s sitting up now, her back straight, and in the light coming in through the window, she doesn’t look like the woman I met back in Mexico. There’s something dangerous about her when she leans toward me.
“What if you could have your cake and eat it too?”
Chapter thirty-five
Claire
