Page 24 of Poisoning Ivy
"If you're not too good for us, then how about a game of chicken?"
My mouth falls open, but anything I'd planned to say is obscured by the sound rumbling all around us, too loud in the dark space of the tunnel.
A train.
My heart stops for a minute before slamming into action again, like it can single-handedly move me out of danger. "Chicken?" I say, my mouth dry. "With a train?"
"Scared, Bambi? Need to go running home to daddy?"
"Fuck you, Killian." I lick my lips, not letting myself betray the nervousness I feel fluttering around inside my stomach. "I'll play your game."
"Daredevil." Theo chuckles, letting his hands settle on my hips. His words seem like they’re meant just for me, his breath on my neck as he tells me, "You'll be able to see the train in just a minute."
My heart stutters like it's thinking of cutting and running, but I plant my feet and face Killian, whose back is to the tunnel and the oncoming train, which is growing closer every second.
Vibrations rattle the tracks and chase shocks up my legs, the power of the oncoming train making itself known in warning.
"First to jump off the tracks is the loser."
"Obviously." I say, knowing how chicken works.
I've never played it, but I know the objective.
"Winner gets to choose something they want from the loser, and the loser can't deny it."
My entire body clenches at the thought of losing, since I'm pretty sure I know exactly what he'd ask for. My virginity.
I’m not saving it for anything special, and as anxious as the thought of giving it up to him in a filthy train tunnel makes me, I almost hope he wins so that he can take it. Let him steal the thing my parents have assured me is my only worth. Maybe they’ll kick me out if I can’t be of any use to them. If I can’t find a worthy husband because I let some filthy hot mountain man pluck my cherry, maybe they’ll just let me go.
"Deal." I agree, my eyes flicking over his shoulder to the lights of the train as they round the curve.
The light is blinding in a whole new way, paralyzing me in place. I can't see anything beyond Killian's smirk, his large body backlit by the light of the train. I wonder idly if it has an actual conductor aboard or if it's automated. Will anyone see us here on the tracks and try to stop? Will they stop the train and then chase us out of here on foot? If they hit us, will they know they just killed a couple of teenagers who have a bone to pick with the world, or will it feel like a beetle hitting your windshield when you’re going ninety on the highway?
"It's getting close." I say, my stomach twisting as it hurtles toward us.
I want to turn to see Monty and Theo to see if I should give up yet or hold out a little longer.
"If you're scared, you can step off the tracks!" Killian yells, his words nearly eclipsed by the sudden angry blare of the train's horn.
I guess they realized someone is here after all.
I lick my dry lips again, glancing at the train behind him and then turning back to Killian. His bright eyes are unusually dark right now, playful and sinister all at the same time. I've never been able to figure out how he manages to be everything all at once. He's my tormentor and also the object of my desire. He's the worst, and yet I can't get him out of my head.
I won't admit it to Killian, but a small part of me wants to stay here on the tracks. A small part of me wants to feel the impact of the train, so heavy and relentless, as it crashes into me. Some part of me wants them to witness my death—to see the girl they loved to hate splatter in pieces around them. It's fucked, I know. Like I said, I don't want to die. But I don't particularly want to live either.
The train whistle blares again, and I see Killian move toward me as I let my eyes flutter closed, steeling my nerves. I can feel their eyes on me; I can feel the heat of the light and the moths that are swarming around me now that I'm bathed in the only glow in the tunnel.
I open my eyes at the last second as Theo pulls me against his chest.
The momentum sends us both careening into the wall, and I feel the rush of the air as it moves around us, blowing my hair back from my face. I don't know at first who moves behind me, caging me between their bodies, but when they fit themselves against my backside and I hear his heart pounding in his chest, I realize it's Monty.
We stay that way as the train rumbles past, never stopping, never attempting to pull a brake. I guess I can't blame them, seeing as I never attempted to move out of their path.
When the last of the train cars rolls past us, Monty moves away from me, dragging a hand over his face, and I push off of Theo, turning to Killian to demand my prize. The adrenaline in myveins feels like it's bleeding out in my every breath, and it's the most glorious feeling I've ever known. Euphoric.
I wonder if it's whatever drug I took or just the brush with death or the dumbfounded looks on their faces that makes me feel so giddy with excitement. Maybe it's all of it, a heavenly elixir that can never be duplicated.
My laugh fills the tunnel, and I expect theirs will join in with it, but nobody else laughs. "I win."
