Page 30 of Poisoning Ivy
The men have the power, and they fight each other for more of it while playing with us little women-folk like living dolls. We’re toys that they can bend into whatever shape they want, even if it breaks them, and they can put us away when they're done with us. It's what my father has done to my mother for as long as I've been alive, and it's what they've both done to me. And they've made it clear that it's what my husband will do to me, too. They've planned my life for me, and I guess I just have to wait for it all to unfold, because that's what I am supposed to do.
The second time I tried to run away, I learned it was useless to think that there was anything out in the world for me other than the path my parents have defined for me. That time, I tried to run in the city, thinking I could get to the train station with the money I'd earned by pawning the locket they gave me for my sixteenth birthday. That was months ago, but my ribs still hurt when I breathe too deeply. I could have probably gottenaway with just the broken arm from the man who dragged me back home, but when my dad realized I'd pawned the locket, his Italian leather shoes caught me in the ribs... over and over.
College is a waste for a woman of your class,my mother had said when I tried to appeal to her about letting me go off to NYU.You'll simply marry and keep your husband happy and give up on any dream of anything beyond that.
I didn't dare tell her that she didn't make my father happy, that I was pretty sure she never had.
I've grown increasingly more numb over the last year, and especially after her kicking me down the cellar steps because she found my vibrator, a gift from a friend with a wicked sense of humor. So, when I slide more of my foot over the edge, testing the strength of the rocks not to give way beneath me and send me tumbling down to my death, I'm not surprised that it doesn't ignite anything inside of me. Not fear at the thought of it all ending, not excitement at the idea of freedom, not even satisfaction at the mental image of them trying to put me back together for my casket like Humpty Dumpty.
That's why I step away from the edge and carry on down the road, my speed increasing as gravity helps me down the hill.
The Holmes property has always been peaceful, but it's blunted this time by everything else as I stumble toward the creek, the sound of the water guiding me through the dusky night. I can see a reflection of the moonlight rippling on the surface. It calls me forward like a siren song that has me shed my clothing, leaving it on the rock that typically serves as a drink and cell phone holder.
The water is cool when I step into it, almost invigorating. It awakens something that's been dormant for a while, something that I don't even know the name of. As I sink the rest of the way into the water, I feel it easing the tension and pain in my body, whispering like a salve for my soul. The water isn't deep,covering me up to my breasts, and if I bend my knees, I can sink them under the surface too.
I duck my head under, letting the water baptize me, washing away the last year as I hold myself under, enjoying the way my head slowly empties of thoughts as one thing takes precedence in my brain. My lungs ache with a burn thatIcontrol, and I feel the desperation reaching through me, filling me up with a buoyant need to rise back above the surface. I hold it off as long as I can, but the human body is focused on survival even when the brain isn't.
I break above the water, my toes pushing against the silt and rocks on the riverbed to push me out faster.
I suck in a deep breath, my lungs screaming for the air I've been denying them, as the warm air caresses my wet, bare skin from my waist up.
It's as I'm shaking droplets of water out of my eyes that I hear the music.Bodiesby Drowning Pool blares from somewhere beyond the trees, and as I turn my head toward the road, expecting to see their car passing, my eyes land on them.
There's four of them. The reapers—Theo, Monty, and Killian, with his thick arm wrapped around the shoulder of a blonde girl whose tits are pushed up to her chin in the red crop top she's got on.
I drop into the water, letting it hide my breasts even as I move my arms across my chest, feeling my tight nipples drag against my skin. My cheeks burn, and it's not just with embarrassment, though I do feel a little strange about the busty blonde seeing me topless. I burn with jealousy, having no doubt about what they’re here for. The three of them are coming here to fuck her, to play with her, to love on her. They’ve replaced me.
My mother's made idle gossip about all of the neighbors and their miscreant sons, who apparently all fuck each otherandanything that moves. I think my mother might be jealous,honestly, that she can't get any out here, and so she takes it out on the neighbors for having sons who dare to do sexual things. While my mother had made it sound as if they were having massive orgies on the regular, I suspect the truth is something much more intimate... that they're sharing.
"You're back." Killian says plainly, his voice betraying exactly as much emotion as his dark face, which is to say none.
"Hey, Tiger Lily," Theo calls out, playful as he strips his shirt above his head, needing no further invitation.
My eyes meet with Monty's as he stares at me, slack jaw, and I dart my tongue over my lips to ease the dryness there. There's so many things that could be said, but so many things that I don't knowhowto say. It doesn't matter, because Theo steps out of his jeans and boxers all at once and wades in to greet me, and I stare down at the surface of the water as he barely covers himself with his hands.
"Theo." I say, my tongue feeling oddly heavy as he sinks down into the water in front of me.
"The water's deeper back here." He says, tipping his head behind him to indicate the area away from the house, folded deeper in shadows. His hand moves slowly through the water, and he holds it out for me, palm up, to take, so I do. We wobble awkwardly deeper in the stream, until I can feel the riverbed getting further out of the reach of my toes, and we can both straighten.
"You look good, Ivy." Theo's voice is husky, making my body tighten as his gaze dips to the space between us.
I'm opening my mouth to say something, but the sound of more people splashing into the water steals my attention back to where Monty, Killian, and the blonde girl are all wading into the water too, each one of them entirely naked. The girl has her tits covered by her arm, at least, but as she tries to find her footingon the rocky surface below her, she throws her arms out, and I get a good view of her in all her glory.
As they move toward me, the girl doesn't take her eyes off me, and I don't dare look at any of them, focusing on the water rippling as I drag my hand across the top of it. I should make a run for it, but I'd have to go past them to do it. And besides, I don't want them to see that I'm bothered by the presence of the girl they brought with them tonight.
"Didn't think you'd show your face around here after last time, Bambi." Killian's breath hits my neck, sending a violent chill down my spine as he stops just in front of me, as if he ran into me in the grocery store rather than finding me skinny-dipping in our neighbors’ backyard.
"I didn't have much choice." I tell him, noting the hungry look in his eyes. If I hadn’t gotten my hair wet, it would drape right over my breasts, offering me a second layer of protection. I feel too exposed to him, too vulnerable.
"Mmm." He nods and then flicks his gaze to the girl at his side. "This is Tilly."
Tilly smiles at me, though she looks a little confused by my presence.
“Bambi?" She asks, as if she really thinks that's my name.
"Ivy." I manage a smile for her and then gather the courage to find Monty, his keen eyes taking in every inch of me that he can see, as if he's looking for anything new.
"I love that name!" Tilly says excitedly, taking a step closer. "It suits you."
