Page 41 of Down Memory Lane
Felix was busy with his brothers, either giving Beckett a last minute pep talk or more likely, celebrating early with some of the hard cider he had brewed especially for the occasion. Thinking of Felix’s special brew had her blushing as she remembered the one he’d created for her. Luckily, today’s concoction tasted nothing like that one and instead was a mixture of apple juice infused with pineapple and passionfruit in a nod to the beauty and devotion inherent in the couple’s relationship. Autumn smiled as she milled about with guests before taking a seat in the front row, unable to stop thinking about Felix and just how thoughtful and completely wonderful he was. He managed to turn everyday situations into a special occasion and turn special occasions into extraordinary ones.
More guests took their seats, Autumn smiling and hugging her parents as they came to sit next to her. It was kind of the Kemps to include them in the celebrations since they were still in town, something that would change very soon. Autumn still wasn’t entirely sure how she felt about that and she definitely hadn’t decided whether or not she would go with them. Maybe they had been right. Being in her childhood area, looking at pictures from her most recent memories might do her a world of good. Of course, that meant she would have to leave Felix, and that wasn’t something she was sure she would ever be ready to do.
A soft melody started to play as one by one, Felix and his brothers made their way down the aisle before standing in front of the arch. Soon after, Nolan and Cora Kemp walked down the aisle on either side of Beckett. After giving him hugs and kissing his cheeks, they took seats on her other side next to Aiden’s girlfriend, Nicole. Autumn smiled at the pair of older lovebirds as they held hands and beamed at one another, feeling like her love for Felix looked remarkably similar to what his parents had.
Lottie walked down the aisle next, her pink bridesmaids dress matching the flowers she carried in her hands. She smiled at the attendees as she made her way toward the front. As they waited for the bride, Autumn looked around once more at the decorations, taking notes for her own fictional future wedding. Everything looked so stunningly beautiful, so romantic that Autumn couldn’t help but gaze over at the man standing with his brothers. Whenever she thought of romance, her mind automatically wandered to Felix, her eyes not far behind.
Standing at the end of his line of brothers, Felix winked at her as she sat in the front row, her hands fidgeting with the fabric of her dress as she thought about having to leave the kindest person she’d ever met behind. Technically Autumn had known many people in her life, but she remembered only the ones she recently met. Should she limit herself to those newer memories or go with her parents to try and get her old ones back? How important were they in the grand scheme of things? These were all questions she’d turned over in mind constantly since her parents had brought it up, but she was still no closer to an answer than she had been when she started. What did happen was the longer she thought about it, the more Autumn found herself focusing on the man not fifteen feet away.
Felix looked handsome as always, though there was something particularly nice about seeing him slightly more dressed up. His white button down was still rolled up at the cuffs, but the addition of navy slacks and matching suspenders as well as a bright pink, floral boutonniere added enough formality to have Autumn picturing him at his own wedding. He would look very dashing in a tux, but it wouldn’t quite suit his personality. Maybe a brown suit with a green vest to have his eyes looking more that color as they sometimes would. His hair would be long again because despite all of his talk of how much easier it was to deal with short hair, Autumn could tell that he missed the length. She did too, already having imagined multiple times how nice it would feel to run her fingers through it, to grab onto it as they made love to one another.
Autumn felt her cheeks heat once more and tried to turn her focus back to Felix’s fictional wedding. It was difficult to steer away from her more carnal thoughts, but she managed, landing on one final aspect of the picture she conjured. More than what Felix would wear, more than how he styled his hair, Autumn knew that she wanted to be the one standing across from him, gazing into his eyes as they promised themselves to each other forever.
As the images of their two fictional weddings merged into one, Autumn felt her heart swell with the love she had for him. The knowledge that she loved Felix didn’t surprise her, nor did it hit her like a bolt of lightning like she always imagined it would. Instead, it had crept up on her slowly, and simply made itself known. Autumn could tell she was falling for him from the moment she saw him in the hospital, a feeling that continued with each day that they spent together.
This felt deeper than that though. It wasn’t a memory that resurfaced only to float away on a light breeze, but a bone deep knowledge that she’d somehow tapped into. Maybe all it took was the time they’d spent together recently, but Autumn knew without a shadow of a doubt that she loved Felix. Suddenly wanting to share that knowledge with him, she shifted in her seat to stand only to be waylaid by the change in music. As the stylings of the string quartet drifted toward her ears, all eyes turned toward the bride. All except for Autumn’s, whose eyes were glued to the man in front of her, the man she loved, the man she longed to be with forever.
As Willa made her way down the aisle with her parents, her ivory lace gown and long golden hair beautifully styled but also still a little wild, Autumn continued to watch Felix. Words of love and promises of forever were exchanged by the happy couple, but it was background noise to her. All Autumn could hear was her own heartbeat as it quickened with each soft smile or longing look that Felix sent her way.
It was impossible to focus on anything else when he was so close and yet too far away. When claps and cheers erupted all around her, Autumn came aware of her surroundings once more and applauded the happy couple as they exchanged a kiss that threatened to set the trees around them ablaze. It was obvious that Beckett and Willa were crazy for each other, and for a moment Autumn wondered if people could tell just how gone for Felix she really was.
As the couple of the hour made their way back down the aisle and over to the tables set up for the reception, Autumn sat and waited for Felix. It didn’t take more than a few seconds for him to come to her, offering his arm. “May I escort you to the reception, milady?”
“You may, good sir.” Chuckling, she took it and walked down the aisle with him, flashes of their future playing in her mind as they did. “You look very dashing in your ensemble today.”
Felix smiled and snapped one of his suspenders. “Thanks. I was a little skeptical about these things, but it turns out that they’re actually kind of fun.” He pulled out a chair at their table for Autumn and took his own seat, throwing his arm over her shoulder and pulling her close. “I was thinking we could use them again later. The fabric is soft and stretchy, perfect for tying something up,” he whispered.
Autumn shivered and nodded as she wrapped her fingers around one of the straps and tugged him even closer. “Definitely hang onto those then.” Felix kissed the spot below her ear, but her parents joining them at the table deterred any more of that kind of attention from him.
“What a beautiful wedding,” her mom stated. As she sat, Autumn noticed that her practical blue dress matched her father’s suit almost perfectly, and she wondered if her mom had picked both of them out herself for just that occasion. She smiled and nodded as her mom looked around the orchard. “Such a lovely place to get married and what a wonderful way to end our stay before the three of us go back to Arizona. Don’t you think?”
“Three of you?” Felix asked, confused. If she wasn’t mistaken, Autumn thought she detected a hint of hurt in his voice as well. His eyes found hers and he must have seen the guilt there because soon enough, realization dawned on his face. “Oh. You’re leaving?”
Autumn glared lightly at her mother. “It was something that was discussed, but not decided upon yet.”
Her mother scoffed. “I don’t know what’s to decide. I still think that being in the place you grew up in would help you get your memories back.”
Autumn groaned, trying to keep her cool while also assuring Felix that this wasn’t a decision she was going to make lightly or without him. “I grew up here too, Mom. That hasn’t helped at all, so who knows if Phoenix will be any better?”
“It couldn’t possibly be worse,” her mother retorted. Autumn knew what she meant, but it would be worse, so much worse if she were far away from the person she loved.
Autumn turned to Felix who looked resigned and determined at the same time. “She’s right. It couldn’t hurt, so maybe you should go.” He looked around the space for a moment before standing. “Excuse me.”
Panic consumed her as she watched Felix walk away. Determined not to let go of the best thing she’d gained after already losing so much, Autumn stood and went after him, hoping that when she told him she loved him, he changed his mind and asked her to stay.
