Page 13 of Playing With Fire
“When did you start getting panic attacks?” I ask.
“I don’t get them anymore now. Today was a fluke. I used to have them a lot in high school and I think it came about because of the excessive bullying. I’m over it now though.”
“It got worse after I left?” I ask her as pain flits in my chest. I wish I had been there for her.
Alex nods in affirmation but she doesn’t say anything else.
“My turn, why do you hate me?” she asks.
I immediately shake my head.
“I told you, Xandra. I never hated you.”
“Okay, but you don’t like me either. You get angry anytime you see me. You don’t want me in your life,” she says sadly and I sigh.
I consider taking a drink but she deserves the truth.
“To be honest, I’ve never wanted anyone in my life. even my adopted parents. They’re great people but I always push them away. I don’t let anyone in. And then there’s you, Xandra, you tried so hard to be a part of my life. I got scared because a part of me liked you there. A part of me wanted to be with you and be happy but I couldn’t. I have deep scars and I never want to lose anyone again. I can’t go through that pain anymore, but with you, it’s harder to remember that. I didn’t want to spend time with you because I was angry at myself for liking it.”
Because I think I love you and I would literally die if I lost you, I add internally.
Her eyes get a little misty.
“That’s not how to live life, Ritchie. You can’t live life in fear of the unknown. Everyone deserves to be happy.
“I know,” I say quietly. But with happiness comes a lot of other bad things my mind adds.
“I think I want you to fuck me,” she says, blinking innocently.
“What?” I ask not sure I heard her correctly. Where did that even come from?
Alex pushes the tequila bottle away and scoots closer to me.
“I’m out of questions and I said, I want you to fuck me, Ritchie Morgan,” she says.
I don’t need any more prompting. My pulse quickens and I slowly drag the zipper of her dress down. I drag her up and wrap her in my arms before pulling her back down to the bed to lie against the pillows, settling myself between her legs. She hooks one smooth leg around my hips as I pull her bra off to kiss across her chest, squeezing her tits. My lips travel south, from her nipples to her stomach, while my fingers slip her lacy panties down her legs and spread her pussy for my mouth.
Alex jerks and pulls me up.
“I want you to fuck me now,” she says. There’s a fire in her eyes that I know only I can quench. She opens the button and zipper of my pants and shoves them off. My boxers come next, until I’m naked for her.
I search her eyes, my dick hard against her pussy.
“Are you sure you want to do this, baby?” I ask.
“I’ve wanted to do this a long time,” she assures me, panting in excitement.
I reach for a condom in my wallet and as I put it on, our mouths collide again.
I settle between her legs and then as slowly as I can, I begin to push into her tight wet heat. I grit my teeth, allowing her to adjust before I move again, little by little.
“Ritchie, faster,” she whispers.
Her amber eyes are shining with need and arousal.
I don’t listen. I pull back and achingly and gently push back inside of her. Her nails softly drag down my back and I tremble. She leans forward to kiss my lips and my mind is wiped of everything but her. The feeling of her and the thought of her. Too quickly, my climax builds. I clench my teeth in concentration. She has to come before I do. I reach downwards and my hand begins playing with her clit.
“I’m going to come,” she says shakily and a moment later, her body shudders beneath me. I’m not too far behind, shuddering as I come harder than I have in my entire life.
