Page 23 of The Devil You Know
“Okay, now you’re making me want to eat Peking duck,” Ben said.
“Me too,” I admitted.
He grinned at me. “Okay, so why don’t we go find some?”
I looked down at my watch. “At this hour?”
“Sure,” he said. “Where’s your sense of adventure?”
I’d been up since six in the morning and I was tired as hell, but there was something about Ben Ross’s sexy smile that made me want to go find Peking duck. He made me want to spend the whole night looking for it with him, if that’s what it took.
It only ended up taking an hour and a half. We walked all over what felt like the entire city and we talked the whole time. As we walked, I noticed that Ben was standing closer and closer to me so that his arm would periodically brush against mine—at one point, I thought he might take my hand, but he never did. We finally found a restaurant tucked away deep in Chinatown that was willing to serve us Peking duck at nearly eleven o’clock. The duck was delicious—flavorful and moist and just the right amount of fatty. We devoured the whole thing in ten minutes. Ben wasn’t lying—he really did like to eat.
When we left the restaurant and returned to the late spring night, I commented to Ben, “That was good, huh?”
“I guess so,” he said.
I raised my eyebrows at him. “Really? You didn’t like it?”
“Truthfully?” Ben smiled crookedly. “I couldn’t really focus on the duck because the whole time I was in there, I kept thinking about kissing you.”
I stopped short on the sidewalk, suddenly breathless. “So why didn’t you?”
“Well,” he said thoughtfully. “You were eating and I didn’t want to bother you. Also, we were the only customers in there and the waiters were all staring at us. Plus… I wasn’t sure if you’d be okay with it.”
“I’m okay with it,” I said, because the truth was, the whole time I was eating the duck, I was hoping he’d kiss me.
“Yeah?” Ben’s brown eyes lit up. He hesitated another half a beat, then leaned forward and pressed his lips onto mine. The night air was brisk and Ben’s body and lips were warm against mine. There was something about that kiss that just felt so right—so perfect. I’d never felt that way about anyone before.
One month later, I showed up in Ryan’s apartment and told him that I couldn’t see him anymore.
_____
I’m sound asleep when I feel an arm flop over my body, encircling me. A second later, I feel a warm, firm chest pressed against my back. There’s a gentle peck on my neck, then the sound of Ben sighing as he settles his head against his pillow.
Then… snoring.
I look at the clock by my bed. One in the morning.
I shut my eyes again and try to get back to sleep. I do the thing that you should never, ever do in the middle of the night, which is I count the hours till I have to wake up in the morning. My alarm will go off at six-thirty, so if I manage to fall back asleep right this instant, I’ll get five and a half hours of sleep.
It’s a lot of pressure.
Ben’s body feels hot pressed against mine. This room is way too hot. I wonder what the thermostat is reading right now. This room feels like a furnace. We’re probably spending hundreds of dollars to heat this room tonight.
I attempt to fall asleep again for the next five minutes, then I get up to use the bathroom. I come back to the bed, and Ben immediately grabs me again.
For the entire time we’ve shared the same bed, Ben has generally gone to bed later than me. And when he comes to bed, healwayswants to cuddle with me. I used to find it incredibly sweet, and it was something I looked forward to. It got to the point where I’d have trouble sleeping until Ben joined me and encircled me in his arms.
After Leah was born, that changed. Sleep has become precious and erratic. The last thing I want right now is Ben coming into the bedroom to wake me up in the middle of the night. If he wants to cuddle, he needs to go to sleep when I do. Otherwise, he needs tonot wake me upat one in the morning, for God’s sake. One of us actually has to go to work tomorrow.
And now I can’t freaking sleep.
I roll over in bed and look at Ben. He’s asleep again now, his eyes shut, snoring softly out his lips. When did Ben start snoring? That’s a new one.
“Hey.” I shake him until his eyes flutter open. “Hey, wake up.”
“Huh?” He rubs his eyes, trying to get his bearings. “What’s wrong, Jane?”
