Page 85 of The Devil You Know
“Yeah, big thrill.” He rolls his eyes. “I could, but they don’t want me to. No patient care. They don’ttrustme. They think the Huntington’s might affect my judgement too.”
“Well, thereareusually cognitive deficits associated with Huntington’s,” I point out. “Don’t most people with it get demented?”
Ryan stares at me. “Really, Jane?”
“Sorry,” I mumble. Although it’s true.
My phone buzzes again inside my bag. Ben’s going to kill me if I don’t get home soon. He’s not that understanding when it comes to peanut butter.
“Is that Pip trying to reach you?” Ryan asks me.
“It’s okay,” I say.
“No.” He shakes his head. “You should go. You’ve obviously got somewhere to be.”
“It can wait.”
Ryan rolls his eyes. “What—are youworriedabout me? Well, don’t worry. I’m fine.”
My phone buzzes again. “Are you sure?”
He raises his eyebrows at me. “Don’t I look fine?”
Actually, he does look fine. More than fine, if I’m being honest.
“The truth is…” He glances down at his watch and winks at me. “I’ve got to get out of here too. I’ve got a date.”
I manage a smile. “Hooking up?”
“She wishes.”
I laugh at that because he’s probably right. It always seemed sick the way girls used to fall over themselves for Ryan. And whatever else he’s lost, he definitely still has the quality that drew women to him so reliably.
The truth is, he’s taking this a whole lot better than I thought he would.
Chapter 33
My Alyssa-related responsibilities on the day of her Grand Rounds the next week not only involve helping her set up her presentation, but I also have to pick her up at the Long Island Railroad, because she is coming in from Manhattan and doesn’t have a car. I am Dr. Jane McGill—maid for examining rooms, laundress of hospital gowns, and now chauffeur for Grand Rounds presenters.
Dr. Kirschstein forwards me Alyssa’s itinerary for the morning (only Alyssa would have anitineraryfor a morning trip to Long Island) and advises me to show up “well before” the arrival time of Alyssa’s train. That doesn’t quite go to plan when Leah face-plants during the long, long journey from the garage door to the car, and I have to take her back into the house to wash and cover her wounds withFrozenBand-Aids. I end up driving like a madwoman to make it to the LIRR on time.
I beat out Alyssa’s train by mere seconds. I watch it pull into the station as I get that horrible feeling in my stomach that accompanies every interaction I have withthis woman. I shift from foot to foot, clenching and unclenching my fists. I silently recite my mantra:
She has no power over you anymore. There’s no reason to be afraid of her.
Except it doesn’t work. Even if I live to a hundred, I will always be afraid of Alyssa Morgan.
My hands ball into permanent fists as I see Alyssa emerge from the train. Alyssa was several years older than me when she was my senior resident, and I estimate that by now, she’s at least in her mid-forties. But she doesn’t look a day older than she had been during that month when she made my life a living hell. Alyssa isn’t beautiful but she’s got a timeless appearance, with her high cheekbones and strong jaw. She always kept her hair swept up during residency, but now her straight brown locks fall just below shoulder-length, barely sweeping the edge of her gray suit-jacket.
Although I’ve seen Alyssa a handful of times since residency, this is the first time we’ve had to do more than smile and nod. I’m actually going to have to speak to her. And presumably, be pleasant. This is going to be a challenge.
Alyssa glides across the train platform. She regards me briefly, then strides right past me like I’m a homeless person she’s trying not to make eye contact with. She looks around the platform, maybe checking for someoneholding up a big sign that says “DR. MORGAN,” or perhaps a stretch limousine waiting for her.
I clear my throat, but Alyssa doesn’t turn. Finally, I call out, “Alyssa!”
She turns and regards me with more curiosity. I’m genuinely baffled. She knows that someone is here to pick her up—why is she having so much trouble figuring this one out?
“I’m here to take you to the VA,” I tell her.
