Page 28 of Goblins Don't Count
I smiled at her. “It’s for a good cause. Your shop is a good cause. Me not looking respectable is a great cause.”
“What’s the event?”
“The Governor’s ball.”
She whistled. “Of course it is. All right. Let’s find your assets and do something with them.”
By the time the large black car pulled up to the front doors to pick me up, I was ready. That is, I’d taken one look at myself in the mirror and burst out laughing.
“You’re laughing at my hard work? Let’s see if I give you any more sausage rolls.”
I gave her a look as the laughter drained out of me. “You were supposed to make me irresistible, like your rolls, but instead you turned me into a nun. A purple nun.”
She shrugged. “Skin isn’t alluring to goblins. Lack of skin is far, far more interesting. It gives you mystique. What could all those clothes be hiding?”
My dress was basically three dresses, one under layer that was skin-tight silk tunic and leggings, one long loose dress in more flowing silk that went over the first layer, and then another shorter layer in leather that cinched up the waist and bodice. It was all purple of various shades and hues. I didn’t feel like it gave me mystique as much as signaling that I had nothing worth seeing.
She bumped me. “Don’t look like that. To be alluring, you have to feel alluring.”
I sighed. This was a pointless waste of time and money. I was a police officer in pursuit of justice. So what if no one was ever going to want me? I had things to do. Right. This dress with its sweeping skirt would be perfectly suitable for a gala. That’s all I needed.
I handed her the card, but she hesitated. “Pay me later. After you become convinced of my genius.”
I gave her a skeptical look. “Turning down cash? That’s not like you. Take the card. The dress is great. The makeup is great.” Minimal. The only thing I had on my skin was a faint line of kohl around my eyes.
She sniffed. “Goblins don’t like layers of cakey makeup. Trust me.”
I squinted at her. “Did you read an article about goblins fifteen years ago and embedded it into your psyche until now?”
She pushed me towards the door and the big black car waiting outside. It had an unearthly sheen over it, like it had been waxed for fifteen years. “Probably, but this will help me grow my goblin know-how. If you don’t trust the process, at least trust the experiment.”
“Mmhm.” I left her, still holding the card between my fingers, feeling like the world’s weirdest frump. Then again, it would be a great outfit for frolicking in the woods. I should have gotten a nice traditional witch hat while I was at it.
I opened the car’s back door and slid inside before I changed my mind. I came up against a very polished Goblin Authority who studied me with concerned eyes.
“So, did you get tickets, or are we breaking and entering? Your tuxedo says dancing, but those eyes are all about the breaking and entering.”
“What are you wearing?”
I tugged on my leather mini overdress thing, feeling self-conscious. It was like a long corset with a side slit and leather ties. “Purple. Great color, right? It’s my favorite. I was going to go for stunning, but then I decided purple was better than stunning. In fact, the purpleness is so incredibly potent, it could stun people as well as purple them.”
“You’re two minutes from hyperventilation. Deep breaths. Yes?”
I took one even breath, realized how lightheaded I was and took another. “I’m good.”
“Purple as a verb? I don’t think good is an adequate description.”
I elbowed him. “Pretend I’m good, okay? Don’t smell my hysteria and call me out on my rambling. Just pretend I’m good. That’s what people on dates do. They pretend not to see the flaws.”
“Not flaws, I’m just…” He took a deep breath and then leaned into my space, sniffing my hair like I wanted to do to him. “What did you do to your hair?” His voice was low, rough, laced with a growl that made a shiver run down my spine.
I pulled away from him, leaving him blinking at me. “I washed it. Also used Clary’s special detangler. It’s also down. I don’t usually leave it down, but part of the back of my neck might be exposed if I had it up, and you know how shocking that would be.”
His eyes narrowed. “I see.”
“No, you don’t, because it’s covered by my hair. Did you get tickets?”
“I got tickets. Your friend, Clary, does she spend a lot of time with Goblins?”
