Page 54 of Hero & Villain
“What kind of cupcakes are they?” I asked.
“I have chocolate raspberry and vanilla strawberry.”
“I’ll take a chocolate.” I shouldn’t take chocolate, shouldn’t think of Dirk’s soft eyes and softer lips, but I couldn’t help myself.
“Chocolate is your weakness, hm?” Felicia said with another stunning smile. She was just as ridiculously beautiful as Minx and Jezebel, but that smile was tinged with the diabolical.Perfect, another villain. “I’m so happy that Jezzy finally has a roommate. We worry about her. She’s so particular, though. She says that we’ll drive her crazy if we’re around all the time. It’s mostly because I can’t help trying to dress her up. I mean, her face says class, but she wears Texas trash.” She turned her smile on Jezebel like that hadn’t been an insult. Maybe it wasn’t. “Do we stop for tacos before or after the ride?”
I wasn’t listening because I’d noticed the guns hanging on the walls, from semi-automatics to revolvers. A submachine gun sat in the corner pointed against the wall. A submachine gun. What kind of Girl’s Night was this?
“I don’t think these weapons are legal,” I said, because someone had to say it, and tacos seemed to be their priority.
Minx patted my shoulder. “Don’t worry. Cops don’t patrol very often in the desert. Do you have a criminal record?”
“Yes.”
“Oh. Are you a felon? That must be so hard for you.” Her green eyes widened with concern. She was just so sweet to worry, but now I was starting to worry. I had my own villainy to do. I couldn’t get sucked into another villainous scheme that may or may not land me in jail. I wasn’t terribly worried about jail, since Juvie had been so pleasant, and since my grandfather would get me out as soon as I wanted him to, but it would certainly derail any progress that I was making. Not that I was.
“I guess?” My grandfather had buried my record, so who knew if I was a felon or not?
She pursed her perfect mouth. In the light of day, Minx looked like a cartoon character with the too-bright red hair and too-bright enormous green eyes, combined with the perfect heart-shaped face and mouth. “It should be okay. Shouldn’t it be okay, Jezebel?”
Jezebel gave a bright smile that had more madness than sanity. “It’s going to be better than hot pancakes on a cold day. Let’s suit up. We’ll do tacos afterwards with virgin margueritas.”
“Don’t worry,” Felicia said to me in a low voice so the other women wouldn’t hear. “Jezebel’s outings are always on the exciting side, but underneath that wild and unstable exterior is a cold and ruthless killer. She’s been planning this for months. She has backup plans on her backup’s backup plans.” She winked at me and headed for the armored suits.
Of course, a villain’s lair wouldn’t be complete without submachine guns and armored suits. Did Felicia really think that it would be reassuring to hear that Jezebel was a cold and ruthless killer? I was starting to feel like the least villainous person in the room, except for Minx, whose evil superpower was making the most moist and delectable chocolate raspberry cupcakes in existence. I’d probably become addicted to them and then be completely in her power. Not that I’d mind, because she was so sweet and would keep feeding everyone cupcakes.
“Where’s Trixie?” I asked, biting into my cupcake and following the other women to the suits.
Felicia started changing, like we were in a locker room, not an armory. “Chica, didn’t you hear? During the race, Horse’s loco driver cut off Trix on one of those alta passes and almost got both of them morte, so she’s yelling at Horse in the Providence’s lobby about how he needs to hire competence. We’ll probably be able to watch it soon. Touristos always records their fights because the two of them are like fuego and gasoline, you know, igniting in passion for the world to see, but they never actually get past words and looks. Their looks though…” She waved her face and fluttered her lashes then continued pulling off her jeans.
Jezebel sighed heavily. “She can’t resist a fight with Horse. I think that’s half of why she lives in his hotel, so she can run into him on the regular. I suppose everyone’s got to have a vice.”
Minx shook her head, making her hair flutter. “It’s not Horse; it’s the hotel.” She turned to me, sincerity brimming in her eyes. “She lives in the most expensive and cleanest hotel in town because she’s from New York, so she has a thing about bugs and can’t handle the thought of any infestations.”
“Si, she only has to deal with one single cockroach, le cucahorsaroach, the hottest chockaburro in town. Too bad he’s her landlord, or I’d do personal research and find out if he’s as talented in the saddle as they say he is,” Felicia said with a wiggle of her dark brows.
Jezebel threw a cowboy hat at Felicia. “You know that Horse isn’t her landlord. He just lives in the same hotel as she does.”
Felicia put the hat on her big hair and posed in her red underwear like the submachine gun was a camera. How could her skin look so smooth without retouching? She relaxed and shook her head. “Trix isn’t here. It’s not like Rosa cares what Horse owns. Trixie couldn’t live in the hotel if she knew that Horse owned it, because they are enemies de morte, but it’s the cleanest hotel in town and she was having all these mental breakdowns every time she almost drank a cockroach. You know how it is.” The Latina who didn’t look entirely Latin threw the cowboy hat back at Jezebel.
I held up a finger. “So, you’re keeping the truth from Trixie to protect her from having to move, even though she’d never stay there if she knew she was renting from a man she hates? I don’t know. That seems wrong to me.” If my moral compass was the one we were relying on to steer this ship, there was no way we weren’t going to hit an iceburg.
Minx gave me a sweet smile. “That’s really nice to worry about right and wrong. You’ll be so good for Dagger. He’s had areally hard time ever since his sister died. I know it’s rough to deal with addiction, but he’s doing much better with all of his issues. I mean, we all have issues that we have to deal with, and he’s a good guy in spite of everything.” She frowned as if she hadn’t meant to say that last part. She continued quickly. “Did you really kiss him after you broke his nose? He must like you because most men dislike having their noses broken too much to kiss afterwards.”
Jezebel snorted. “Honey, he’d kiss her after she broke his leg. He’s smitten. It’s so adorable, and the way she looks at him, like he’s her cache of chips and salsa when she’s been no-carb for five weeks…” She sighed heavily. “Now we have to get extra chips and salsa. I don’t care if I gain five pounds; I’m living it up this weekend. Ariba!”
She twirled a revolver around and stuck it in her holster, like that proved her point.
I shook my head and tried again. “If Trixie has a reason for hating him, she should be informed so she can protect herself. What if he’s a creep who uses ninja stealth tactics in her bedroom? What if he’s put cameras in her shower?”
They stared at me. Jezebel stood up and walked over to me. “She hates him because she wants him. He might be an immensely enormous egotistical horse’s behind, but he’s got lines, boxes, things he does and doesn’t do. Trixie staying in his hotel is the biggest protection from him that I can give her. He won’t poach a tenant, however much he’d like to. If you inform Trixie about Horse, you’d make a lot of enemies.” Her voice was quiet, articulate, and extremely dangerous. This was the cold-blooded killer Minx had warned me about.
I shrugged. “Fine. You know your friend better than me. She didn’t look like she needed any protection, but I’m new in town.”
Minx shook her head sadly. “I know that Trix is strong and powerful, but she’s also incredibly vulnerable. She’s good, reallythe best out of all of us, and that makes her weak. We have to protect her.” She looked far too helpless to protect anyone, but maybe cupcakes and sweetness were a kind of shield against whatever Trix was vulnerable to.
Or maybe all three of them were completely insane.
