Page 89 of Cupcake of the Month
God damn it.
The tightness in his chest became unbearable and he rubbed at it. Jordan’s bag slipped to the floor but he barely noticed. Hot pricks stabbed at his eyes and he squeezed them shut. He hadn’t cried in years. It wasn’t happening now. Especially not in front of Jordan.
“Whew.” She picked up her bag and breezed past him, angling to the side of the bed where she kept her back to him. “It’s been quite a day. Why don’t you go shower. I’m going to head out to take care of a few things.”
The sweat and rank odors coming from his body probably rivaled Zach’s socks after gym class. He swallowed and hoped his voice didn’t waver. “Where are you going?”
“To get food and stuff. I’ll be back soon.” She grabbed her purse and gave him a quick peck on the cheek before leaving.
He threw his hat on the bed and stripped, then went into the small bathroom.
Bracing his hands under the faucet, he let the water beat down on his head, not caring that tears mixed in. His gut tore with the effort of keeping in the sobs. A few deep gasps escaped him, echoing against the tiled walls of the shower.
Josh surrendered to the despair that wrecked him all day and slid to his ass to the floor of the tub, resting his hands on his bent knees. Hard sobs shuddered through his body and anguish tightened his chest as the water beat down on him. He could have told Zach the truth about his parents at any time, but that would shatter his brother’s innocence, his belief that Marian and Clint loved him more than themselves. Would that have kept Zach from running? And what would he do when he found out how little regard his own parents had for him eight years ago?
After what seemed like hours, he stood up and tore the paper off the soap and grabbed a washcloth. He scrubbed it vigorously over his body, then lifted his face to the water, letting it erase the evidence of his tears. He’d clean himself off, get a couple hours of sleep, and be ready as soon as the sun rose to head back to the airport. He could stay calm.
When his mind returned to some semblance of normalcy, he shampooed his hair and rinsed his body. He wrapped a towel around his hips, unable to bear the thought of putting on his dirty clothes. The smell of hamburgers and fries filled his nose as soon as he opened the bathroom door. His stomach revolted, and he swallowed, hard, to keep the bile from rising.
“I thought you might want something to eat,” Jordan said. “It’s not Fountenoy Hall standards by any means, but it’s something.”
“Thank you.” He’d try to force something down. Maybe the bread. He hadn’t eaten since breakfast, and his body needed the fuel.
“There’s stuff on the bed for you, too.” She rolled her carryon into the bathroom and closed the door behind her.
An unopened pack of white briefs sat on the bed next to a campy t-shirt with a picture of a beach and the word Florida written in large capital letters. He pulled on a pair of the briefs and the shirt, and bit down hard on his lip to keep himself from getting overwhelmed by her thoughtfulness.
He flipped the bun off the burger to pick off the onions, but there weren’t any. Eight years and she still remembered he hated onions. The tears came again and stung his eyes, and he gave them a rough swipe with his hand. The woman wasn’t real.
Half the sandwich was all he could manage. He tossed it back on the wrapper and wiped his hands, then dimmed the lights and lay down on the bed. Something small and hard hit him at the base of his spine and he rolled over, patting the bedspread behind him.
It was a toothbrush. And a small tube of toothpaste. And damn it again if his throat didn’t tighten. Every act of kindness was setting him off, and he was perilously close to the limit of how much more he could take.
When the water of the shower stopped, he rolled over and faced away from her bed, making his breathing deep and even. He couldn’t face her. Not tonight.
Getting comfortable was next to impossible when his every cell ached to be with the woman on the other bed. The slide of her sheets reached his ears and all he could picture was her glorious hair spread out on the pillow, passion and desire on her face. He scrunched his eyes shut to demolish the vision. She deserved better than him.
Tapping sounds came from her computer, but she soon huffed out a quick breath and muttered to herself. She put her computer away and turned off her light, then settled into her pillows. A soft sigh carried over to him.
One look. One look was all he needed to satisfy the yearning in his body and settle his mind. He maintained the steady paceof his breaths and rolled over, then opened one eye into a slit.
Jordan’s profile was visible in the dim light coming in through the curtain, from the tip of her nose to the dip of her neck and the rise of her breasts. He was wrong. It only intensified the need. He opened both eyes to take in all of her.
She rolled over and stared straight into his soul.
His body zinged like it had been kissed by lightning, his breath caught in his chest. He needed her. Fiercely, with his entire being desperate to be near her.
He lifted the cover in silent invitation. She didn’t hesitate to slide between the sheets and settle into the heat of his body. He pulled her against him and tucked her head under his chin. He wrapped one arm around her waist and brushed a soft kiss on her forehead.
The stress of his day disappeared as he relaxed against her body, soothed by her familiar scent as he fell into a deep slumber.
Chapter 18
Jordan pulled up to the departures terminal at the airport, expecting Josh to jump out before the car even stopped moving. After she dropped him off, she had to get back to the hotel. She had sent the picture of the woman to Larry last night when she’d been getting dinner. He told her he’d contacted the judge’s staff and explained the circumstances, complete with the police case report from Georgia. The judge had been compassionate and was allowing Jordan to participate remotely.
Larry also promised to research the woman, starting with the lawyer’s family. It couldn’t be coincidence that they shared similar features. If there was any kind of connection, Larry and his associates would uncover it.
She put the car in park when Josh didn’t move and rested her hand on his knee. “You okay? Well, as okay as you can be right now?”
