Page 57 of Jingle Bell Jilt
“What are you watching?” She asks as she sits down next to me.
“Curling.”
“It’s kind of addicting to watch, isn’t it?” She scoots a little closer to me, and I can smell the shampoo that I keep in the shower for guests. “We have an Olympic training facility in Utah. It’s fun to go watch the different teams train.”
“You go there a lot?”
She shakes her head. “No. We went skating for a group activity once. I was terrible at it, so I mostly watched the speed skaters and the curling teams practice.”
She stretches out with her feet propped up on the coffee table and puts her hands to her side, shifting slightly closer to me. But I notice she doesn’t pull her hands back up into her lap.
My gaze keeps flicking down to her hand resting next to my thigh. Do I dare take it? I can’t believe I’m having this debate. I’ve held her hand before. For the love of Pete, I’ve kissed her…one and a half times (I don’t consider the first one a full kiss). But when I kissed her, I didn’t realize I loved her. Somehow that makes a difference.
Taking the coward's way out, I let my hand fall to the cushion between us, resting it just millimeters away from hers. If she’s open to me holding her hand, she’ll make the move, right? It’s probably better this way anyway. Then I don’t have to feel like I’m always the one making the moves.
We sit quietly watching the curling competition on TV. Although, don’t ask me who’s in the lead or even what’s happening because my sole focus is on the hands at my side.
Shay takes in a deep breath, and her hand shifts ever so slightly. Our pinkies are touching. A part of me wants to shout it out loud.Our pinkies are touching!Our pinkies are touching!
Is that her move? Should I reach out and take her hand? Holy Hannah, why am I so bad at this? It’s like I’m on my very first date back in high school all over again. What happened to smooth Evan where the ladies are concerned?
In a surge of bravery or stupidity—the jury’s still out—I move my pinkie over, lopping it around hers. If she pulls back, I’ll pretend it was an accident. But if she doesn’t? Well, I haven’t planned that far ahead yet.
Shay smiles ever so slightly, and I turn to make my excuses, when she moves her hand, slipping it beneath mine and interlocking our fingers.
I fist my other hand at my side and give it a victory shake. Yes. We’re holding hands. Again.
Shay doesn’t look at me but continues to stare intently at the screen. And then she shifts and rests her head on my shoulder. I think the sandwich I ate might have been full of caterpillars and they have all just turned into butterflies in my stomach. I’m beyond pathetic. But as long as Shay is next to me, I don’t really care.
I turn my gaze to the TV, but I pull our hands up and set them on my thigh. I don’t want to hide our hand-holding down on the cushions between us. I want it out in the open, even if it’s only the two of us here.
CHAPTERTWENTY
SHAY
So, we’re holding hands now.
I send the text to Maggie.
After our beach day, it’s become our thing. We still haven’t kissed again. But I’m not going to read too much into that.
Maggie sends a gif of a guy screaming and waving his hands around his face.
Maggie
You’re the rebound champ!
It doesn’t feel like a compliment. I don’t want to put a label on what we have because I really have no idea what the label should be. But I don’t want to think of Evan as a rebound guy. However, I can’t say this is anything more. I mean, how can it be? I just got out of a two-year relationship. Do I even know who I am anymore? And we have only known each other for six days. I’m not the kind of girl who just goes from one guy to the next, never allowing herself any time to just be herself. Or am I? That thought scares me more than it probably should.
I don’t want a rebound.
While I’ve come to realize Nathan wasn’t right for me, it hasn’t changed what I wanted with him. No one knows this, but on the night Nathan proposed, I had planned to break up with him. Things were going nowhere, and I knew I needed to end it. But then he proposed, and it seemed like we were on the right track. I was going to get a husband that loved me and a family and a home.
It obviously didn’t work out with Nathan. But I’m not going to get that with a rebound, either.
Maggie
Have I led you astray yet?
