Page 130 of The Disasters of Dating
“Will you open it so I can see what it is? Adam’s probably wondering if I’m ever coming back.” I don’t know why, but that hits me wrong. “I’m not keeping you from going back to him,” I snap.
My mom’s head jerks back as if I’ve slapped her. She nods. “You’re right. I’ll leave you alone.”
I clench my fist. Now I’m mad at myself for making her feel bad. And I don’t want to feel bad for her. I want to feel bad for myself.
I pick up my phone.
Lincoln
I can’t believe I’m saying this, but maybe he had a good reason?
He ‘had to work.’ Lamest excuse. And now he’s sent a penance gift.
Lincoln
What did he send?
I haven’t opened it yet.
Lincoln
Are you going to?
Lincoln
I’m going to say something at the risk of you severing all communication—per our agreement.
I feel the anger rising in my stomach.
Lincoln
I’ll take your silence as permission. I’m wondering if you’re more hurt than mad? It seems to me you’ve been abandoned—or that is probably what it feels like. Your mom has Adam and, therefore, isn’t spending as much time with you. And your sister has a new boyfriend so she likely isn’t spending as much time with you. And then there’s your dad. The first one to abandon you. Now, BEG comes into your life and gets you to lean on him…to need him. And then when you need him, he abandons you, too. Or that’s what it feels like.
I swallow, and it hurts because all my emotions and tears are lodged in my throat. I want to sever communication with Lincoln. Not because what he says isn’t true. But because it is. For someone who’s as in tune with the universe as I claim to be, I totally didn’t see this coming.
I swipe at a tear as it hits the crease of my nose.
I’m not sure what to say.
Lincoln
I think maybe it’s time we meet in person. I know it goes against the rules. But there’s something I need you to see. We can meet in a very public place, one that makes you feel safe.
I pick up my phone and then put it back down. I’m not sure what to do.
Lincoln
It’s a big decision. I get it. Maybe open your penance gift while you decide. I’m intrigued by what it is.
I reach over and grab the package. But then pull back. Why am I even listening to him?
But my curiosity is piqued. I can feel through the packaging that it’s some kind of frame. Which seems weird. I’d have pegged Keaton as a guilt flowers kind of guy.
A little card is taped to the corner. I grab it and rip it open.
Sprite,
Words can’t express how sorry I am for missing tonight. I know it was hard and that you needed support. It kills me that I couldn’t be that for you tonight. I know this is little consolation—not even an attempt at a pun—but the sentiment is true, for me, at least. I hope you can forgive me.
