Page 29 of The Disasters of Dating
I scroll through my texts from my mom. I swear she said she was going to book club more recently than a month ago. It doesn’t take me long to find the text I was thinking of. I look at the date. It was after she got back from Alaska, which was…just over two weeks ago. I narrow my eyes at my screen. Did they move it up this month? If they did, why didn’t she say that? What is going on with her? I hope she isn’t getting early-onset Alzheimer’s because she’s seemed a little forgetful lately. And she seems to think she goes to book club a lot. I guess it’s possible that she belongs to more than one. But wouldn’t she tell me that?
I shake my head.
I’m sure theCheaper than Therapychat will have things to say about my Grandma Alice. They’ve heard the stories for our whole lives. If nothing else, I’m sure it will prove amusing. But it will have to wait, because someone hurries into the store and grabs a few packages of nuts and some Twizzler Bites. He slams them onto the checkout counter, his eyes flicking over his shoulder. He seems like someone who would appreciate a bad English accent. “G’day, mate” I say with a smile.
CHAPTER 10
KEATON
Make business your priority this month and it will pay you back.
Learn Chinese: ?? — Xièxiè — Thank you
Lucky Numbers: 36, 25, 72, 83
I’m sittingat my desk, waiting for Evan. I do that a lot these days. It’s finally Friday and I would like to get out of here. But I can’t until I talk with him. He has been on the phone, literally forever.
Okay, maybe not literally.
I smile. My younger brother, Lowell, is in law school and tends to think he is smarter than everyone. As such, he gets super irritated when people misuse the word “literally.” At Christmas, we literally (wink, wink) had an argument about the word. He says we misuse it and if we continue to misuse it excessively, we will lose its real definition. I have several questions here. The first being, who is ‘we’? Americans? English language speakers? I feel unqualified to know if the British, Canadians, Aussies, and New Zealanders also misuse the word. I think I need more clarification before I can agree with him.
My second question comes to his reasoning. He claims there are no other words to replace the word literally. Is he for real? What about actually, precisely, truly. In fact, after his great monologue, I looked it up, and there areliterally56 other words to replace the word “literally.”
Needless to say, Lowell wasn’t amused. I literally was.
I lean back in my chair, a smile on my face as I recall the conversation and stare at the ceiling. I can’t pretendto look busy at my desk while I wait for Evan to get off the phone. All my actual work is sitting on my desk in Utah.
My New Hampshire phone vibrates, and I pick it up, expecting to see a message from either my brother, Lowell, or my sister, Alexis. But to my great surprise and happiness, it’s from Poppy.
Poppy
My Grandma Alice just tried to guilt me into going to Alaska. She wants me to meet someone?? Can you even believe it??
My brow creases in confusion.
I’m sorry? I don’t think I know your Grandma Alice well enough to know if that’s good or bad... But from your tone, I’m guessing you think it’s bad? And so is the meeting someone?
Without much information, I’m leaning toward agreeing with her on her meeting someone. But that is for totally selfish reasons.
I wait for a response, but it’s crickets.
My office door opens, and Evan walks in. It’s weird seeing him in a suit and tie. He hasn’t dressed up in years. Granted, that was probably because after he sold his first company, he was mostly retired and living in Florida. I think shorts and t-shirts are the uniform down there.
I’m not sure why he dresses up now. The offices in New Hampshire are tiny, and only about four people (while I’m in town) actually work here. A big office in New Hampshire wasn’t needed because the company is going to be in Utah. I’m not sure why he even opened an office here in the first place.
I look up at him and smile. “Finally off the call?”
He sighs and collapses into the chair across the desk from me. “Holy marathon calls.”
I crack a smile. “I would have left, but you said you wanted to talk to me?”
My phone vibrates, and I glance over. Poppy has responded, and from the number of exclamation marks, it looks exciting.
“Do you need to get that?” Evan asks.
I pull my gaze away from my phone and shake my head. “No. I can deal with it after we talk.”
Evan raises a brow. “I can’t see the words, but it looks like there are several exclamation marks. Are you sure it’s not urgent?”
