Page 50 of The Disasters of Dating
Poppy
I think I might like your mom. But I also think a good conversation is about both people equally.
Perhaps. But I asked first, so we’ll resolve the Alice questions first, then move on to the Lincoln questions.
Poppy
Fine. *blows bangs out of eyes.
Gah! You gave me a personal identifier. You have bangs.
Poppy
But do I??? Anyway, even if I do have bangs, are you going to know my bangs out of, like, hundreds of other girls with them? I think not. So cool your jets!
Fine. But no other distinguishing features!
Back to the horoscope…
Poppy
(GIF of Steven Colbert tapping his pen on the desktop.) What about it???
When did you get into them?
It’s radio silence for several minutes, and I wonder if I’ve offended her. From what little I know of her, she takes horoscopes very seriously.
Poppy
I started reading them when I was about nine.
Nine? That’s pretty early to start into astrology, isn’t it? But then I pause. Wait. Wasn’t that how old she was when her dad died? Hmm. This line of questioning just got more interesting.
That’s pretty young. Did you even understand them?
Poppy
Mostly. Some things went over my head. But they still helped me navigate life. I mean, between astrology and crystals, I managed pretty well.
Crystals? I’ve noticed she’s worn one every time I’ve seen her. Ithought they were pretty stones. But it seems like there is more to them than looks.
What do crystals do? I’m not well-versed in those kinds of things.
Poppy
They keep me grounded and open. Sometimes they just bring calm to my life. Like right now, Mercury is totally out of whack and it’s messing with my Cancer Moon. But my amethyst necklace helps keep me calm and counteracts Mercury’s whirling dervish.
I lick my lips. Okay. She is way more into this stuff than I originally thought. It’s a little weird. Too weird? I’m not sure yet. I mean, I keep all my fortunes from my fortune cookies, so who am I to judge?
Poppy
Okay. It’s your turn. Tell me something about you.
My mom died during my senior year of college. It was the first and only D I’ve ever gotten. I worry it will haunt me for the rest of my life.
I’m not sure why that’s the first thing I tell her. Maybe I went deep to scare her off so that I don’t have to be the one to do it? I’m not going to lie, I’m not sure I can do the crystal thing. Horoscopes are weird enough on their own.
Poppy
