Page 52 of The Disasters of Dating
I give a firm nod as if that seals the deal and makes it law. But I’m still waffling. My stomach growls, and I realize I need breakfast. Maybe food will add clarification? Man, I wish we had waffles.
I swing out of bed and grab my phone. Maybe my cousins can help me figure it out. But what if what they tell me means Keaton isn’t a tourist? Do I want him to stay a tourist? It’s definitely safer…for me. I open the cousin chat.
What would you classify as a tourist?
Or rather what qualifies someone as a tourist?
I set my phone on the counter and open the fridge. Pulling out a yogurt, I set it on the counter when my phone vibrates, and a message comes in from Chloe.
Chloe-Bear
Non-local. Wearing a backpack around. Lost looking.
Chloe-Bear
Thinks your city is really cool when you know it’s kinda boring.
I nod. So far, so good. Keaton totally fits into that definition. Right? I mean, he doesn’t look lost, per se. And he hasn’t said that he thinks Salt Lake is cool—which I totally agree with. Salt Lake is cool. Maybe I’m the one who’s the tourist. But I guess if one of us is the tourist, my rule still applies?
Good definition…he wears a backpack sometimes.
Dani answers just as I finish typing.
Dani
Are we assuming a tourist is a bad thing? Because Mason was definitely a fan of this tourist…
I kind of miss single and cynical Dani…
Not bad. I just need to define it so I know the parameters for my rules.
My rule says I can’t date tourists…but if we’re just friends, we should be able to hang out, right? And didn’t we establish last night that wearefriends?
Lucy’s text comes in.
Berries
Someone who comes to the area for the sole purpose of seeing the city. I like the backpack requirement. Haha. Or a fanny pack.
I grin. I can’t picture Keaton in a fanny pack. I can picture him in a lot of things…swim trunks or a smedium t-shirt. But not a fanny pack.
Berries
Hey, does this mean I’m no longer a tourist when I visit Canada? Since my sole purpose is a man, not a city? I feel like I should claim dual citizenship based on that alone.
You do realize we are making up these qualifications for our own purposes, right? Like, this isn’t official to any state or country…
Berries
Too late. Did you guys know I’m a dual citizen in Canada?
Chloe-Bear
Nice work, Lucy, locking down dual citizenship.
And just like that, we’ve squirreled off my problem and onto something else. And there’s no sense trying to pull it back. They will stay off subject, out of principle.
Awe, Lucy. Your kids can be bilingual!
