Page 74 of The Disasters of Dating
Woah. I never thought it possible, but I think I can leave Boston if it means being with Poppy. I drop my phone onto my desk, as if it’s on fire. That realization scares me.
CHAPTER 22
POPPY
Pisces, you need to look for opportunities to lighten your thoughts. The Cancer Moon is forming an unbalanced aspect with the north node. You’ll feel great frustration at the lack of progress or power, but you’ll see a way around the obstacles. Partner with someone who can help your agenda, but keep your mind open as negotiations emerge. Connect with your favorite people. Look for grounding activities that allow you to appreciate the simpler things in life.
Keaton
I’m not doing much. Just catching up on some work that I wasn’t able to get to because I was flying yesterday. Then I’m going to play basketball with my brother.
I smiledown at his text reply. It feels like more than twelve hours since I saw Keaton. But then I frown. I shouldn’t be this invested in him. And I definitely should not have kissed him back when he kissed me for the kiss cam. I should have given him a light peck on the lips. But once his lips touched mine, it’s like a dam inside of me burst and I didn’t want to let him go. Quite the opposite. I wanted more. I wanted to run my fingers through his perfectly mussed hair. I wanted to make it an unruly mess. I wanted to hold him close and never let go.
I close my eyes and take in a halting breath. But I can’t. This is why I have rules.
I bite my lip. But I’ve already had this argument. Keaton isn’t a tourist. So why am I feeling like I’m making a mistake? Like, I’m breaking some rule? Have I thought about him as a tourist for so longthat now I can’t change my view? I scoff. If anyone is changeable, it’s me. That can’t be it. He’s just must not be part of my plans.
For whatever reason, I’m hesitant to call this anything more than friendship. In another week, I’ll start back into school and won’t have time to think about him constantly or see him every night.
My shoulders sag at that thought, which only compounds my irritation.
But then my brow raises as realization hits. Is it school that’s holding me back? Maybe deep down, I’m afraid that if I get too involved with Keaton, then I’ll have to put my education on the back burner. And I can’t do that.
I nod, even though I feel no relief. But that has to be it, right? What other reason could there be?
I shake my head. I have no idea what to do with this newly discovered information. It brings with it no peace. My Cancer Moon is no joke.
My phone buzzes.
Keaton
Didn’t you say you had several nights off this week?
I don’t reply immediately. My first impulse is to tell him I’m free and see if he wants to hang out. But another part of me wants to be cautious. Maybe I should tell him I’ve taken some extra shifts? But that’s what I’d said to Grandma Alice. I can’t treat Keaton like I do Grandma Alice. I like Keaton too much to do that.
After this week, it won’t even be an issue. So maybe I’ll hang out with him for a few days and then cut things off before he flies out on Thursday.
Yeah, I do. But I thought we already had plans to go for ice cream on Monday.
Keaton
Oh, yeah. More fancy ice cream. I can’t wait!
Is he being facetious? Does he not want to do ice cream? Ugh! Texting and I have such a love/hate relationship. Why don’t people use the phone anymore?
Do you hate ice cream all of a sudden?
My phone rings in my hand, and Keaton’s face lights up my screen. It’s as if the universe sent Keaton my pleas to use actual voices.
“Hey, Keaton,” I say when the line connects. I’m much too happy to hear him somewhere other than my head.
“Hey, yourself.” I can hear his smile, and it warms my whole body. I may even have a flash or two of our kiss from Thursday night. Maybe part of my issue is that I don’t know if he only did it because of the pressure from the chanting and the kiss cam. Would he have kissed me without those things?
I clench my fist at my side, berating my wishy-washiness. Wasn’t I just planning my exit strategy?
“So, I thought it might be easier to talk rather than text about our plans this week,” Keaton says. He makes it sound as if we have multiple plans arranged. He clears his throat. “Plus, I wanted to hear your voice.”
My heart melts a little. He’s so sweet.
