Page 73 of The Back Forty
I exhale a ragged breath. “But I’m not gonna push you. I’m not gonna beg anymore. I already said, I’m not competing with a guy who’s nothing like me. I understand your concern for your health. So, go upstairs, get some rest. Let me finish the damn dishes while I try to wrap my head around how I’m going to work next to you and not think about kissing you.”
She doesn’t move. For a second I think she might walk over, might say something that pulls us back from the edge that we’re teetering on. So much for hope. Instead, she says softly,
“I’m actually leaving tonight Lawson. I figured it’d be better if I went back to Isla’s after we talked…”
That stings but I nod slowly, my face turned towards the suds in the sink so that she can't see my disappointment. Pride flares up like it always does when my heart feels too exposed. I was vulnerable with her. Something I never am. And what didshe give me back? Nothing. Didn’t even acknowledge it. She's leaving anyways.
“Good. Even better,” I snap out.
I crank the water up to scalding, and start scrubbing the same damn plate repeatedly. I don’t even hear her footsteps when she leaves, just the front door creaking open and close.
And then I let out a long, defeated sigh.
She really fucking left.
Chapter 29 – Dani
“God, I feel like such a fool.”
“You’re not a fool,” Isla says, folding her legs under her on the couch at her condo like she’s settling in for a good story. “Lawson’s one of the nicest guys on the planet. Of course you caught feelings for him.”
“Not just caught feelings, I freaking sucked his dick! And yeah, I toldmyself not to look at him like that. Repeatedly. For a freaking year. But that's all I lasted. A year!”
She snorts. “Okay, well, telling yourself not to fall for someone is like telling your ovaries to chill when Chris Hemsworth takes his shirt off. Doesn’t work.”
“But Iput him in the box,” I hiss, and her face does that concerned-brow-lift-thing like she has no idea what I'm talking about. “I know how that sounds,” I add quickly. “But I did. I put him in theBoss Off Limits Absolutely Do Not Even Think About It or He'll Ruin Your Lifebox.”
“And how’d that go for you?” she deadpans.
I groan. “He didn’t stay in the box. He’s too nice. Too…good. He listens. He works hard and you know how much I'm a sucker for a guy who works hard. He's smart, loves his family and he treats people with respect. And then there’s thatface. And that voice. And those hands.”
Her lips twitch. “And that mouth? And that cock?”
I drop my head into my hands. “Don’t remind me. I should’ve just slept with him the first night that we met, right there in that bar bathroom, then ghosted him and flew back to California when I realized he was my new boss. That would’ve saved everyone the trouble.”
“But then you wouldn’t be here, living in this random town we both love. And who knows what your health would be like if you hadn’t slowed down with small-town living?”
I sigh. Those are all valid points. But right now, if it’s a choice between keeping my job or getting wrecked by Lawson’s hands and mouth again, my sex-starved, completely overwhelmed body is shoutingpick him.Pick his dick! It won't hurt you!Well, maybe just a little bit.
“And let’s be real,” Isla adds, like she’s not done emotionally gutting me, “he’s clearly been into you too the whole time. There's no way this was just anoopsieon his part. He didn’t just trip and fall face first into your pussy. You know how thin the line is between friendship and something else, especially when you’re of the opposite sex and working together with loads of sexual tension and chemistry. You’re just lucky you lasted this long.”
“It’s Catalina’s fault for kicking me out of my room and visiting unexpectedly. If we hadn’t been forced to livetogether…”
She gives me a pointed look and sets down her coffee. “Oh honey. You really think that would’ve stopped this? Please. I calledthis the day you got hired by him.”
My head jerks up. “What?! You never said anything.”
“I figured you’d figure it out eventually. I just didn’t think the figuring would include him going down on you and then you tell him to back off because you think he's like Elijah.”
“Ugh. Everything feels ruined now.”
“Do you want him?”
“Yes! Of course I do. But I can’t. Not like this. Not when he’s myboss.Plus, what does he want from me? To have someone easily accessible for hook-ups when we’re on the road. I'm sure it would be super convenient for him if that worked out.”
She rolls her eyes. "You're acting like he's an ass hole when we both know that's not the case. He obviously likes you and he’s said as much."
I roll my lips under my teeth because I know she's right. I'm not irrational, I'm just trying to make up any excuse for why I told him that we needed to stop while we were ahead. "I don't know anything."
