Page 76 of The Back Forty
So, I laced up my shoes and went for a long run, cutting across the creek that wraps around the Marshall farmstead like a hug, legs pumping, lungs on fire, until the ache quieted the noise in my head.
And then, just as I collapsed onto the back steps of my house, sweaty and wrecked, I got the text from Dad:Make sure you bring Dani to dinner tonight for my birthday.
I’m rarely home for these things anymore. Usually, I’m halfway across the country at some pitch or conference, stuck in hotel rooms, eating sad salads and crunching numbers. But it’s my dad’s seventieth birthday. A big one and not one that I'd ever want to miss. And apparently, Dani needs to be here too.
Why, though?
Especially when she just told me she doesn’t want anything more from me. Not outside of work. Not after everything we did. She wants me to just easily slip back into the role of being her boss when all I can think about is how desperately I don't want that all. Because it's not just about her body, it's about her. And now, she’s here dressed like a goddamn fever dream and smiling like none of what we did happened.
I lean against the doorway between the kitchen and the open living room, watching her walk in, hips swaying slightly, skirt catching the light. Velvet. Red. Short. My breath catches in my throat.
“Ooh, this skirt is adorable,” Rae gushes.
Adorable?No. No, that’s not the word.
That skirt’s a fucking hazard. Red velvet, high-waisted, tight black top tucked in. She looks like trouble. Like temptation. LikeChristmas came early, and I’m the idiot praying to unwrap her under the dining room table if she’ll just give me a chance.
“Thank you,” Dani says, laughing softly. “Was going to save it for the company holiday party, but I figured Mr. Marshall’s big day deserved something festive. Just pretend you haven’t seen it when I wear it next month.”
Regan squeezes her arm, grinning. Her husband Hayes stands close by, his arm draped around her shoulder like he always does. Protective. Loving. Natural. For them to start out in a marriage purely of convenience, they sure turned that around quickly and are more in love than ever.
My jaw tightens.
I used to think I liked my life just fine the way it was, clean, solitary, mine. I’ve built something solid and dependable for my son to grow up with. No strings. No ties. Always on the move. But now, with her standing in this room, laughing with my family, all I can think about is what Idon’thave and what I want.
Because suddenly I want a woman to laugh like that beside me and I want it to be her. I want to stand behind her like Colt does with Molly, whisper something low and dirty that makes her blush while she bounces a baby on her hip. I want to thread my fingers through her hair and kiss the back of her neck. I want to look across the room and catch her eye and know she’s mine the way that Cash is doing with Rae. Fuck, I'm jealous as hell of all of them.
Dani glances over and gives me a small, nervous wave when she catches my gaze that's fixated on her. “Hey, Lawson.”
I grunt in response and duck my head, turning toward the kitchen, fleeing like a coward.
I grab the bottle of whiskey from the counter—Cash’s blend, the one he made for Rae last fall when he realized he was in love with her with notes of cherries in it. I then unscrew the cap, pour three fingers into my glass, and take a long pull. The warmth crawls through me, grounding me in all the worst ways.
Figures. Love looks good on everyone else.
Cash steps in the room a few seconds later, all casual and unbothered as he leans against the counter. “Hey. You good?”
“I’m fine.”
“You look tense.”
“I’m not tense.”
He laughs. “Sure. You’re a ray of sunshine tonight. Real crowd-pleaser. Really bringing up the festive mood for dad's big day.” He folds his arms across his chest. “Usually Colt’s the broody one, but even he’s smiling with that new baby of his. What gives?”
“I just don’t get why Dani needs to be here,” I mutter, staring into my glass like it’s going to answer for me.
Cash raises an eyebrow. “Why do you care?”
“It’s family dinner.”
“She’s practically family. Dani’s the most loyal employee we’ve got and she's best friends with all our wives and sister. She’s the reason we’re closing out the year with record numbers. You of all people know how incredible she is at her job. You’re the one running the spreadsheets.”
“Jesus,” I mumble, pressing my fists into the edge of the counter as I lean forward, bracing. “Why don’t youfuck her if you love her so much?”
Cash jerks back, brows knitting. “What the hell, man?”
I shake my head, but I can feel the whiskey doing its thing. Feel the ache in my chest starting to split open. “Forget it. I didn’t mean—”
