Page 104 of Before We're More Than Friends
“Seriously?” Toby’s brows furrowed. “You promised you’d tell her tonight. You promised Jayden?—”
“Hayden.”
“—you promised me, and you promised yourself. And there’s no reason to do it anymore. She’s already upset with the pen pal version of you, and she deserves a proper explanation. I know the friendship with the girl you’re in love with is on the line, but it’s inevitable.”
It’s inevitable. I knew it was true, but the words still sent nausea through my system. “Maybe I’m not in love with her,” I said, the L-word sounding funky on my tongue. “Maybe it’s just my hormones kicking in late because I’d never had a female best friend before.”
Toby paused the TV. “Even if that’s true, you can’t deny that you love her platonically. And you also can’t deny that you’re acting a lot like her dad. You’re being a coward.”
A knife twisted my insides. “I know.”
“Then why are you still trying to take the easy way out?” His voice rose. “Dallas Alexander, this isn’t like you at all. If you suddenly had feelings for me, would you want to cut me out of your life instead of trying to confront your feelings head-on?”
Dang, I’d gotten myself so tangled up in this situation that I was now hypothetically bisexual. “That would be anentirelydifferent ballgame.”
“Would it?” He narrowed his eyes at me. “Would it really be different?”
“Well, yeah.” I swallowed. “But I wouldn’t cut you out of life because of it. It would hurt because you wouldn’t feel the same way, but you wouldn’t deserve me treating you differently.”
“So why don’t you want to do that to Raina?”
I drew in a sharp breath. “Because it’s different.”
“Is it really different, or are you just looking for excuses because you don’t want to face the fact that your life has changed?”
I hated how right he was. I hated that he could word my feelings and logic better than I could. That he knew me so well.
“You can’t even respond.” Toby sighed. “Dallas Alexander, you’re going to have to grow some balls sooner or later.” He got up from the couch, taking his phone with him. “And it’s already later.”
Tears stung the back of my eyes. Toby and I had gotten in fights before, but he’d never been this upset with me. “I-I just thought I’d be able to push the pen pal thing aside and focus on my friendship with Raina. That doing this would help get rid of some of my feelings for her. But . . .” I swallowed the lump in my throat. “I’m in misery. And nothing helps.”
“And whose fault is that?” Toby propped his phone as he threw away his bowl of popcorn.
I didn’t respond. We both knew the answer.
“You’ve changed,” Toby said, taking his phone off the counter. “I don’t know what else has happened, but I don’t like what I’m seeing.”
“You don’t understand!” I shouted like a ten-year-old, my blood pounding in my ears. “And I didn’t call you so you can make me feel like a bigger asshole than I already am.”
Toby’s face pinched. “You’re right. I don’t understand why you’re only hurting everyone around you.” He picked up his phone again. “I’m going to take Buster out for a walk now.”
“After eating popcorn?”
“Burn the calories.”
Yeah, he was lying. “Okay,” I said. “Have a good evening.”
But he hung up on me before I could finish my sentence.
Shouting curses, I threw my phone across the room, hoping that my protective case would do its job. Seconds later, someone knocked on the door. I groaned. “I just dropped a few things!” My era of being a good liar had clearly ended.
The door slowly opened, and Kami appeared, her hair in a messy bun. “What’s going on?” she asked, rubbing her eyes as if she’d been sleeping. It was only six forty-five in the evening, but maybe she’d decided to take a nap.
“I just dropped a few things,” I repeated, my hands shaking as I tried to pick up a few clothes from the floor. Houston whined when I tried to pull my shirts from underneath him.
Kami blinked at the chaos that was my room. “You dropped your entire wardrobe?”
“Yes,” I muttered. “I’m getting ready for Oliver’s bonfire at seven thirty.”
