Page 128 of Before We're More Than Friends
“You think I’m an awkward mess?” I put a hand to my chest. “I’m a charming mess, thank you very much.”
She giggled. “If you say so.”
We started our lap around thepark. It was pretty big, larger than our one in Dallas. I could picture it full of people during the day. “Do you come here often?” I asked, not sure how to address the elephant in the room.
“I used to when I was little,” Raina said, trying to keep Penrose from running wild. Or lunging at Houston. “My old best friend and I used to come here all the time. Remember Isabelle?”
I nodded, though the memory was foggy. “She wished she could get rid of her mom so she could get a dog.”
She laughed. “Yes. I bet she still hates her mom.” Her gaze dropped to the ground. “She actually placed an order for my jewelry business. Yet she hasn’t said a word to me since she first moved.”
“Wow, that’s strange.” Placing an order at an old best friend’s business would’ve been way too awkward for my liking. “You guys used to be close.”
“She was the best before she moved and decided to change,” she said. “Now she’s out every night with her boyfriend and huge friend group. Living the best life.” She shook her head. “I just don’t get how you can be someone’s everything and then leave them in the dust like that.”
Ouch. I hoped that wasn’t aimed at me. “Yeah. But people change.” I sighed, thinking about my walks with Toby. He’d walk Buster while I walked Houston, and we’d talk about our problems as the sun set. But the sky was dark, except for the moonlight and a few stars in the sky. “You can’t predict or avoid it.”
“Yeah.” Raina bit her lip. “We clearly know how change can turn out.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat, paying attention to Houston so I wouldn’t have to look at her. “For sure.”
“Okay, we came here to talk about this. We can talk about other things later.”
“It has been a week.” The hurt in my voice was probably obvious. “Not that I’m blaming you. It was my fault.”
Raina nodded and stopped walking as Penrose went to the side to use the bathroom. I stopped walking, too, causing Houston to bark and pull on the leash.
“I didn’t want to stay mad at you forever,” Raina said, focused on Penrose. “But what you did . . .” She faced me, the ice in her eyes chilling me to the bone. “You really broke my heart, Dallas. I never thought you’d hide something so important from me.”
The lump in my throat grew. “I never wanted to break your heart. To have that effect on you.”
A smile spread across her glittery lips, reminding me of that moment at my birthday party. “I had no idea you did, honestly.” She sighed before walking again. “Until we got closer.”
I kept up with her pace. “I didn’t expect this to happen,” I said, trying to control my breathing. “I didn’t expect to meet you in real life, for you to be everywhere, for my feelings for you to blow out of proportion. I thought I could suppress it until it disappeared.”
“Why don’t you want to have feelings for me?” she asked, the ice in her eyes slowly melting into a look I couldn’t discern. “Were you really that scared . . . of me?”
“I-It’s not you.” My hand shook as I held on to Houston’s leash. “It’s that I knew you wouldn’t feel the same way, and you know me better than anyone else does. You knew my heart, and that made you the best candidate to break it.” I let out a heavy breath. “And you did.”
“I’m sorry.” She squeezed my free hand, and a tingle spread through my arm from the warmth. “I never wanted to do that.”
“It’s not your fault. My feelings for you have made everything too complicated, but it won’t always be like this.” A breezeblew by, and the shock from the cold amplified the ache in my chest. “I’ll find a way to get over you.”
She bit her lip. “I hope not.”
I blinked, nearly tripping over a rock. “What?”
She giggled. “I hope you won’t fall out of love with me.”
My breath caught in my throat. “What do you mean?”
“I didn’t have feelings for you before we met in real life,” she admitted. “But after meeting you, Dallas, the way you looked into my eyes and made me feel like we knew each other inside and out when we didn’t—at least when I thought we didn’t—something shifted. I always knew what we had was real, but now it feels different.” She played with the bracelet on my right wrist. “It feels solid.”
“A-Are you saying,” I stammered, unable to wrap my head around this. “But you rejected me. You pulled away when I tried to kiss you.”
“Because you hurt me. And I hadn’t realized at the time how I felt. Until I visited my dad yesterday and saw how he looked at my mom, how his cheeks flushed.” The moonlight made her eyes sparkle. “It reminded me of how you look at me.”
“You saw your dad yesterday?” I asked, my pulse skipping.
