Page 155 of Before We're More Than Friends
Raina
Having to take days off from school was getting old. Most students would love to stay home and have the freedom to do whatever they wanted, but being at home was the next thing to hell with how empty it was.
Mom needed to stay in the hospital for the next few days for bloodwork. Arielle had called Nonno about what happened last night while we were at the hospital, and Nonno made plans to come down and stay with us.
We hadn’t seen him in months, and this was thelastway I’d wanted to see him again.
Around noon, Nonno knocked on the door, and Arielle answered him. I’d been locked in my room, crying my eyes out while listening to the “I’m sad don’t judge me” playlist I shared with Dallas, but I got out of bed to run downstairs and greet him.
Arielle had her arms wrapped around him, crying against his large frame. For being in his seventies, Nonno looked as young as ever from being a gym rat. His once chocolate brown hair was fully gray, except for a few spots on his beard. Justseeing the heavy look in his chocolate brown eyes as he hugged Arielle made me want to cry all over again.
“Nonno,” I said before joining the hug, my tears resurfacing. “I missed you so much.”
“I missed you too, princess,” Nonno said, rubbing my back. “You’re both so beautiful.”
“Even when we look like drowned rats?” Arielle snorted, and snot shot out of her nose. “Ew!”
I cringed. “Say it, don’t snort it.”
Nonno laughed. “Gosh, I’ve missed my drowned rats.” He kissed our foreheads. “It’s been too long.”
“This isn’t the way we wanted to see you again,” Arielle said, wiping her tears from her cheeks.
Nonno sighed, lip trembling as if he were going to cry as well. Guilt twisted inside me as I realized how much had happened to him and his family in the past three years. He’d gone from being on top of the world to right here, watching his granddaughters break down after they’d lost everything.
Life had fallen apart for him too.
“It isn’t ideal.” Nonno wiped his eyes. “But I’m glad I’m retired and can take care of you guys during this time of . . . hell.”
I couldn’t help but laugh, despite the weight in my chest. “I never thought we’d experience hell before we even died.” I looked around the house. Our living room still had all the expensive furniture and the high-end TV. We still had fancy trinkets spread across the house. We had so much but only in material. Our luxury couldn’t stop our home from collapsing on us.
And if Dad had gotten a worse lawyer and attorney, all of this would’ve been repossessed. We could’ve been on the hunt for a new home right now, one from Mom’s income, as we stayed with Nonno in California.
I wiped a tear from my cheek, frustration pouring through me. I used to believe that my obsessive thoughts had brought me everything bad I didn’t want to happen. That I didn’t do enough to prevent things from falling apart. But I did the opposite. I did everything I could, but my life still collapsed beneath me.
Nonno rubbed my back again. “I know, drowned-rat princess, I know.”
I snorted, hoping snot wouldn’t shoot from my nose. “It’s fitting to look how I feel.” I looked at the pictures of our family on the wall next to us, all decked out in fancy clothes on a cruise ship. I met into Nonno’s teary eyes again. “Why couldn’t we prevent this?”
Nonno sighed, taking his two suitcases with him to the couch. “I ask myself that every day.” He sat down. “I thought that if I tried hard enough to get everything right, I could do it. But I couldn’t prevent anything that happened to me. Your grandma and I fell out of love, and it turned our daughter into a partier.”
“So I’ve heard,” Arielle muttered. “She did things we’re nowhere near even close to doing.”
“Did she talk about her hookups?” Nonno laughed. “Yeah, it isn’t ideal to think of your mom doing that. But that was how she got into drinking. She still maintained her grades to get into college and law school, but she was losing herself. She went to school put together and came home a wreck.” He shook his head. “I tried to discipline her, but she always reverted back to her old ways. And she hated me for it but loved that her mom wasn’t as strict with her. That’s why we fought so much.”
Pain twisted in my chest. I’d never realized that Mom had resented Nonno for trying to help her.
“Everything got better once Patricia met your dad.” A sad smile spread across his face. “He was her saving grace. I’d never seen her any happier than on their wedding day.”
Arielle let out a sob, more tears flowing down her face. “Everything is ruined now.”
Nonno sighed. “It’s not ruined. It’s just . . . messier.”
“It’s basically ruined,” I said flatly. “I feel like there’s nothing we can do to fix anything.”Just look at how your life turned out.I cursed my brain for those hurtful words.
“I still have hope that something will work out right,” Nonno said. “I won’t give up on trying to help your mom until my last breath.”
Or her last breath, a corner of my brain whispered, but I killed the evil thought.No! You can’t think like that!
