Page 159 of Before We're More Than Friends
“You don’t understand,” I snapped, loud enough to make Penrose and Houston jump. “Why doesn’t anyone understand where I’m coming from?”
“What I’m saying is that it isn’t any different than how everyone else has lashed out.”
“I’m going through something way worse than everyone else is! You don’t know what it’s like!” As soon as the words flew out of my mouth, I regretted it. Gosh, I sounded like a ten-year-old trying to defend myself.
“You’re right!” Dallas shot back. “I don’t know what it’s like. I don’t know anything because I’m just the new kid brought intoeveryone else’s—” He drew in a sharp breath, looking at the dark sky. “I came here to listen to you, not to be yelled at again.” When Houston gave him his frisbee, he walked over to the bench where his stuff was at. “I’m not a punching bag.”
“Gosh.” I put my head in my hands, regret washing over me. “I just?—”
“It’s already pretty late.” Dallas put Houston back on his leash. “And I have to go back to school tomorrow.”
“Dallas, I’m sorry,” I said, my voice breaking.Why, why, why would you ruin everything! You finally had such a good relationship!“I didn’t want to hurt you. I?—”
“Good night, Raina.” His cold tone reminded me of the disastrous night at the bonfire when he’d told me the truth.
It sounded so freaking final.
“Good night, Dallas,” I said as I watched him walk away with Houston, hating myself for what had just happened.
Penrose looked at me with her huge puppy eyes.What did you do?
“Just screwed everything up like I always do!” I put my head in my hands, trying to control my breathing and racing thoughts. Could life get any worse right now? Every relationship I had, I managed to screw it up in twenty-four hours. Disaster followed me wherever I went, and all my efforts meant nothing when the bad only washed them away.
Maybe that was why Dad had screwed up. Why Isabelle ghosted me. Why my friends didn’t tell me things. It wasn’t that I wasn’t enough for them—I was too much.
I looked at Penrose, who looked off at where Dallas and Houston walked away. Sighing, I grabbed her leash from the bench to walk back home.
When she looked up at me with her big eyes, I couldn’t help but say my thoughts out loud. “Why would he ever fall for me?”
CHAPTER 39
Dallas
Going back to school on Wednesday was the last thing I wanted to do. Yeah, Raina wouldn’t be there, but my now ex-friends would be. I couldn’t stand the thought of facing them after the hell that had been this week.
To my surprise, Hayden was waiting by my locker when I arrived at school. Unlike yesterday, he was put together, with his thick braids and 5 Seconds of Summer tee. When he saw me, his face tensed as if he were bracing himself.
“What are you doing here?” I muttered, the pressure of my backpack increasing against my spine. “You know, because I don’t know anything.”
He sighed, crossing his arms over his chest. “Look, I know I didn’t say the right things yesterday?—”
“What’s the catch?”
“So you do know at least some things,” he grumbled, looking away from me.
I groaned. “Are you serious, Hayden? What do you want to use me for this time?”
“Okay, hear me out?—”
“Forget it.” I shoved him out of the way toopen my locker.
“Just let me talk for a second,” he pleaded, leaning against the locker next to mine. “If you want to keep hating my guts, then you’ll never have to hear me talk ever again after this. I promise.”
I sighed, hating that I’d given in too easily. “The last time.”
“First of all, I’m sorry for what I said yesterday. But if there’s one thing I can promise, it’s that I didn’t become friends with you just to get you in the band. Yeah, the band was one of my first thoughts when I met you, but I would’ve begged you earlier on to join if that was my sole motivation for being around you.” He scratched the back of his neck. “I’m not very strategic with persuading people anyway.”
“I don’t know,” I said, a small smile curving at the corner of my lips.
