Page 18 of Before We're More Than Friends
My hands froze on the keyboard. I knew I’d more likely come across her at some point. But I didn’t want to know it. I didn’t want what I saw in person to ruin what we had online.
Alex
Where is this coming from?
I instantly regretted my response, but she was already typing before I could delete it.
Chloe
It’s just that you’d never mentioned it before.
I knew it was too late to save myself. Why did the idea of meeting her make my stomach twist?
Because you’re a freaking coward and have already let her closer to you than you’d wanted.
I pushed the thought away. That was selfish. It was a good thing that we were so close. So open.
Chloe
I just thought . . . because we’re so close, and we don’t know what we look like or even our real names. I’ve been thinking about it for a while, but not as much until you said you were moving.
I hope you don’t take it the wrongway.
I just really want to meet you, just once, but I understand if you want to keep our privacy. I’m worried you won’t like me if we met irl, anyway.
I thought I should tell you how I feel.
And I should be strong enough to tell you how I feel.How I’ve felt for who knows how long now.
Chloe
I’m sorry if I made you upset. I shouldn’t have said that. Good night.
Alex
No, wait!
I rushed to type my next response, my blood rushing in my ears as I tried to fix my typos.
Alex
I don’t know what city I’m moving to, but I can always see about meeting up in the future. That would be cool. And I promise I will love you for who you are if we meet in real life.
I flinched at the wordlove, knowing that we both had different definitions of the word regarding our relationship.
Alex
I want you to tell me how you feel. That’s what I’m here for.
Chloe
Thank you. I was worried I scared you off.
Guilt pinched mychest.
Alex
Never.
